“I’m glad we figured it out.” I sit up. It’s a pleasantly easy and painless process. “Not that I’m unhappy about it, but why are you here?”
She pouts. “Because my sister was on the brink of death?”
“Was I, though?”
“Well, critical condition. Interestingly, not because of the bullet. You hit your head hard when you slammed into Irene. Basically, you are responsible for the worst of your own injuries. Way to show agency.” She holds up her hand. With a sigh, I high-five her. “Lowe flew in with me. He left yesterday, when they cleared you. Today I had to drink fridge blood, and it’s like going from gourmet peanut butter to diarrhea.”
“Such vivid imagery- “
The door opens. “Misery! Look at this frog that I . . .” A gasp. “Serena is awake?” A second later, the frog is leaping away, and a soft, bony weight lands on me with all the grace of a flying squirrel. I return Ana’s boa constrictor hug, trying not to burst into tears at how much she’s grown in the last few months. “Hey, baby.”
“Your hair is so long,” she says. “Can I braid it?”
“Sure.”
“Misery and I got matching tattoos!” The back of Ana’s right hand is suddenly in front of my eyes.
“Is that a . . . narwhal?”
Misery nods proudly and lifts her arm to show me hers.
“Also, did you know that next week is Misha’s birthday and my present for her is a bouncy castle? Also, Sparkles says hi.” I glance at Misery, who slowly shakes her head.
He doesn’t, she mouths at me.
He cannot talk.
Ana chatters in my lap for a few more minutes- Lowe is gone on pack business but he’ll come back soon, Uncle Koen bought her unicorn waffles, what’s my favorite cheese, there’s a kid at her school she totally does not have a crush on but will marry as soon as she’s of age, I’m still her favorite because we’re the only two “hybrids” in the world, but Nele is her new best friend.
“Nele?”
“They’ve been getting on,” Misery tells me. “You and Ana might have to split custody. Hey, pest, why don’t you go tell Nele where you are before she worries?”
Ana blinks at her. “Are you trying to get rid of me so you can have a grown- up conversation with Serena?”
“See? I told Lowe that you’re too smart to fall for this crap.” Misery rolls her eyes.
“What are you two going to talk about?”
“I’m going to rip Serena a new one.”
“What does that mean?”
“You know how right now she only has one butthole? I’m going to- “
“Ana,” I interrupt, “why don’t you go find, um . . . another frog? To keep this one company?”
Ana leaves in a peal of giggles, and I shake my head. “Wow. She learned to pronounce your name.”
“It’s tragic,” she says mournfully. “Every day I do my best to delay her cognitive development and keep her a child forever, and that’s how she repays me.”
“My condolences.”
“Anyhoodles, how do you feel?”
Honestly, not bad. There is no smoke. Not much hurts. Everyone I love seems to have survived the week. “If I say fine, will you be yelling at me?”
“I’ll yell at you either way.”
I frown. “Why? You would have done the same. You did do the same- you married some dude you didn’t know to come look for me in enemy territory. How is that less irresponsible than a calculated bait plan to- “
“You think that’s why I’m mad at you?” She lowers her legs and leans forward, showing me her fangs. Which means that she is very angry. “Miss Girl, I don’t give a shit about that.”
“Then what- “
“Why do I have to find out from Lowe what a Heat is?”
I freeze. Did she just say . . . ?
“Yup, I know. And I will be reminding you that I know every day for the rest of your natural life. Which, as it turns out, you thought was going to end soon? Not that I would have known if other people hadn’t told me.”
Shit. Shit, shit. This is bad. “It turned out to be nothing. And the Heat, I would have told you the second I came back to live in the Southwest. And- “
“I don’t believe you.”
“Well, you should, because- “
“No, Serena,
I’m talking. Remember when you didn’t tell me you were a Were? And we agreed that you should have? Clearly you learned nothing. You acted selfishly again. And you know what? I’m sick of this. I’m sick of you shouldering everything like you’re the fucking guy with the stone.”
“Sisyphus?”
“No- the other guy.”
“King Arthur?”
“No, the asshole who carries the planet.”
“Atlas!”
“Yes!” Her victorious smile mirrors mine. Then she remembers herself, and her expression becomes disheartened. “Serena, I can’t keep wondering what you’re not telling me. I can’t keep finding out that you’re facing enormous problems alone.”
“Misery, it’s not . . .” I have no right to cry. So I try very hard not to. “I just don’t want you to have to worry- “
“I worry anyway. I worry more, because I don’t know whether you’ll reach out to me when you’re in need. Listen, you’ve seen me stuff my bra with math homework. I’ve seen you with your eyebrows shaved. There’s no dignity left between us. We’ve been with each other at our worst- “
“And now you are at your best,” I blurt out. “And I don’t want to drag you back down with me.”
It’s what I feel. Really. Genuinely. I didn’t fully know it until the words slipped out, and now I’m looking at Misery, my beautiful, beloved sister, and the hurt in her eyes makes me want to step off a cliff.
“Is that what you think?” she whispers. “That I’m too . . . too functioning for you? That I wouldn’t want to be with you because . . .”
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