With my rage fizzing out and my logical brain easing in to calm my impulse to wreak havoc on him, I slump down onto the floor, completely exhausted and pull my ripped sheets around me in a bid to self-console. My head a blur of what he just said, some weird sympathy for him even, if I should be sill hating his very bones.
“Show me… prove it… that you never….” I can’t look at him, the storm has blown out of my sails and I’m tired, but he knows what I’m asking, and he cautiously walks to me. Slowly and surely, keeping his eyes on me as though he expects me to turn and go for him at any second. I can sense his apprehension and that gives me a hint that maybe some of what he said was truth. Something made him afraid, something happened between us and he is taut and ready to defend himself if needs be.
He reaches out when he gets close enough and touches his fingers to my temple, so gently it’s barely a graze of a touch as he slides down to his knees, bringing his mind to mine and projects the memory I am missing. I close my eyes and let it flood my mind.
It’s as he says. After I blacked out there was a moment of pause, where he stopped, pulled my face to him from the cushions and looked over me, aware I was no longer responding.? His voice laced in concern, asking if I was okay and trying to rouse me. Genuinely afraid he hurt me or pushed me too far and that maybe he had stopped me from being able to get air. He turned me over carefully, checked my breathing, leaned in, and tried to stroke my face to wake me, saying my name softly.
It’s like I stopped and became vacant and there were long seconds of nothing from me. He released his hold on me, panic rising inside of him, afraid he had done something to me, checked my pulse, stroked my face again and tried to shake me, whispering my name softly. He didn’t do anything more to hurt me, just bring me round. When it looked like he started moving to pull me up to sit, so drenched in his concern, I completely exploded, transforming in a blink, like he woke the dormant beast.
My wolf form seemed to combust from thin air, my eyes snapped open, burning red with the rage of Lucifer and then all hell broke loose. Just like he said it did. I was in it for his blood. Relentless, and I don’t recognize myself in the memory.
I cringe as the pictures and images show me wounding him in ways an average wolf would never have healed from. I was on him, after him, rolling around as he tried to battle me off, without actually trying to hurt me. Bit him, clawed him, savagely ripped at him, over, and over. I wouldn’t relent, and he was right. His power was no match for mine. He had to heal as fast as I inflicted savagery, just to stay breathing and I was a tornado of hatred who was not willing to stop. Delivering a thundering blow, eliciting a yelp from him, so high pitched it hurts even in memory, my ears wincing at the sound.
My claws imbedding in his chest, an inch from his heart, which I guess is where I was aiming before my wolf gave up. Unable to stay in form when it’s still so new for me and takes so much stamina, I slumped onto the floor, all ability zapped out as I transformed back to girl, passing out in a careless huddle.
Colton crawled from under me, sliding his torn body, yanking my talons from his chest, bleeding out and groaning as he struggled to the wall to turn and save himself. Where I awoke to find him, back as a man, recovering. That’s where my memory rejoins what I woke up to.
I have no words, and when he lets me go and sits back on his haunches, I can feel the relief swarming my way that he knows I can’t deny what I saw. We can’t twist the memories or alter them; he didn’t lie to me at all. I saw for myself that what he said was true, I can’t deny it in any way. I sit in stunned silence and let it sink in, so hyper aware of his presence, sensitive, but emotionally all over the place and unsure how to feel.
“Imagine what you could do when you harness it and are trained to fight.” His words are hushed, his hand coming up to touch my cheek gently and I flinch away from him. Still on high alert, and wary, but also submerged in shame at what I saw myself do. I didn’t recognize that wolf as any connection to me. She was feral and relentless, and insanely wild. This is why they never allow us to turn if we can’t control ourselves.
“I could have killed you. I tried to kill you.” It’s uttered in broken shame, my voice shaking and raspy as it all filters through. Steeped in feelings of severe guilt. I can’t look at him, but he leans in, sliding his hand under my face softly, tilts my chin up and meets my eyes with his, a smile on that handsome face that shows no anger at what I did.
“The fates wouldn’t give me a mate I can’t handle. Besides, if I died, you would have too, and we could have been together in the afterlife to carry on without all this drama.” That cheeky smirk hits his face, mixed with relief that I’m finally calming down, and a little too cocky that he’s winning me over. I can’t help the tiny ghost of a smile that twinges on my own lips, a little annoyed that he always seems to be able to draw me out like this. I have no words, and I as go to say something more, his face falls and that serious tone kicks in, cutting into our conversation hastily.
“All wolves have been called to the great hall, immediately” He drops his hand from my jaw and jumps to his feet, all naked glory of him and I avert my eyes, suddenly aware of this fact and instantly shy. He has your typical alpha package going on and it’s not exactly easy not to look at. Generally, the males have something to be proud of and Colton is no exception. My face reddens, heat rising up my cheeks, and I huddle myself up, still recovering from this shitstorm we just put ourselves through and now blushing to my core because I ogled him completely starkers and realized he’s well endowed.
I wait for him to leave, hoping to pull myself together with a little headspace and try not to also check out his ass, but he pauses when he sees I make no effort to follow.
“That means you too…. my goal’s to have you initiated into this pack, Lorey. No matter what it takes. My father can’t keep denying us if you’re accepted. We need to have a plan…. steps to being together. I don’t want to keep going through the emptiness of the last weeks and denying this between us. What I said in the forest; I was wrong.” He shrugs as if he’s reciting some bland nothing of speeches and not literally altering everything I thought was happening in the last weeks of agonizing life.
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