I can’t keep being mad about the fact that our bond should be stronger, because I know this isn’t about that. The bond is strong, it’s solid in a way, it’s what keeps pulling him to me, fighting his will power, and messing with his head, repeatedly. It’s what’ll push him to mark her, in the hopes of breaking me free, and keeping me safe from harm. His need to protect me.
The only problem is that once he does mark her, then I shouldn’t be here. I may still have a link that endangers his life, but without his heart and eye on me the way it is now, Juan might make a move and take me away anyway. I bet Colton hasn’t even factored that in at all, because he doesn’t want to see his father’s that wolf. Juan may still make me disappear and go wherever Colton’s mother is, to be sure his son doesn’t get tempted in any way. I’m the enemy in Juan’s eyes, nothing changes that, not even his marking.
I just wish I knew why he hated my kind with this force of passion. We were all the same once upon a time. It’s not my fault my family died. It’s his.
“I wish I could argue, but the last few days, Cole being like this, I don’t think there is. I know him,
Chica. His mind is set. He thinks he’s protecting you.”? Meadow sits up fully, hugging her own legs as tears mist her eyes, and she reaches out and strokes my hair. Her desperation rising as she too accepts that this is how it is. Neither of us has wanted to say it in the last few days, but the tides are changing, we can feel it in the air. Our people are perched on a cliff and change is coming, whether we want it or not. The threat thickening the atmosphere and we both know this is futile.
“I need to accept it, before then. Just not let Colton factor into my plans and focus on doing what’s right for me.” My voice is strong, my words direct, but my heart wavers in blinding agony. A burning pain spreading through every vein because I know what I must do.
Meadow begins to cry softly, pretty droplets rolling down her flawless skin, and I can tell she knows where this is heading. Her silence is her agreement. Her sorrow is her blessing.
“You’ll always be my pack. No matter where you are. I love you like blood, you were meant to find me mi hermana, and I’ll never stop caring about you.
” Her statement tells me she does know, and she isn’t going to argue about it. She’s a realist, and she knows my life won’t improve when Colton marks Carmen. I’ll be this inconvenient issue stuck in the way of Carmen’s happy ever after, and we both know she’s too spiteful to let that fly.
“I know what I have to do to ensure my own safety, and my own future. I love you too, Meds. I’m sorry.” I guess deep down I’ve been churning this over for days, knowing it’s where I was heading, but until now, I didn’t want to face it or say the words. I’ve pulled my head apart, and churned my mind in circles over this, and it all kept coming to the same blank spot I didn’t want to fill in. You have to cut the roots to let the grass fly free and find its own place to seed and grow.
Meadow’s soft tears turn to shuddering fat ones and she scrunches her body into a ball, cuddling herself tighter to console, so we won’t draw the attention of the sub pack who are racing around the run track nearby, chasing one another in high spirits for once.
“I wish there was another way, but I know what you’re saying is true. You were never welcomed, and there’s a chance the marking will completely sever your bond and leave you as Juan’s prey. He won’t leave loose ends to come back and mess with what he wants.”
It’s all the confirmation I need, as a plan clicks into place and she verbalizes the fear that’s been gnawing at me. If Colton marking Carmen does sever my tie to him, Juan will kill me and burn my body with the rest of my rejects. That’s how little I mean to him.
“No one will notice if I go, and Colton, maybe in a few days might question it, but the full moon will swoop in and he’ll do what he has to.” His avoidance has meant he hasn’t linked in any way, doesn’t come by my room, and avoids any interaction. Besides Meadow, he’s the only one who would care if I don’t show up for training.
“Don’t make me say goodbye, don’t tell me when. I don’t think I can handle knowing, I would stop you. I don’t want to keep that kind of secret from Cesar, he would know. I can’t lie to him.” Meadow sniffs from within her body cocoon, desperation all around her as her heart bleeds. I understand, and I reach out and touch her gently on her knee, my own eyes misting over, the pain just as bad, but I hold myself together. Apprehension circling in my gut, but my focus is clear, and my mind made up.
“Sisters don’t say goodbye, they say laters,
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