“She was my mother….” I whisper it painfully, that same rise of heartache anytime I begin to think of her and have to stop my own tears from breaking free.
The doctor clasps a hand to his mouth as though I’ve uttered something sinful, his eyes widening in alarm and he begins to breathe heavily. Backing away from me as something seems to click into place.
“I can’t hear this, because if this is what she said…I’ve let my friend suffer in sleep for all these years, alone…. and I failed her. I let him convince me she was mad, don’t you see. I broke my oath, I broke my promise as her friend, and I’m a terrible person. I need to go…. I don’t want to know about any of this!” He pulls away, shaking visibly, beginning to crumble, and avoids looking at me as panic grips him mercilessly. He’s clearly distressed, his word falter as he babbles them out and he’s once again running from me mentally.
“Wait…. don’t go….what about my mother? What do you know? How do you know her name? What did she say about her?!” I’m yelling after him, grasping for something I don’t even know I’m chasing, as my own panic rises with being left with nothing but her name. My door slides quickly shut as he departs and traps me inside this chamber before I get after him, because I was too slow to lurch forward. He isn’t looking back but scarpering across the concrete floor until he gets mid-way between mine and hers on the way to the elevator.
“I’m sorry… I really am.” He cries it at me, as I slam my hands on the glass in a bid to get the door to open, pressing hard against it so I can see him as he runs off to my left.
“I need to know what she said about my mother!!!” I scream it like a feral banshee, my own emotions overwhelming me as so many racing thoughts rush through my head, and I’m consumed with suspicion, and pain, and heartbreak, all weighing down like a house falling on top of me. My breathing erratic and I pound the glass aggressively, in sheer need to follow him. It shudders and quakes but doesn’t budge an inch.
I can’t calm down, the craziness of that interaction has me all wired and panting as emotion wracks me and my thoughts spiral crazily with so many possibilities on such little information. The mention of my mother, his reaction…. it’s made me react in ways I never have before and I start pacing, pulling at my hair as I try to self-calm and focus.
I upset him, so he’s run off, but maybe he’ll come back, maybe he needs time to process and calm like maybe I do too. Maybe it was a shock, that something she told him now appears to be coming true. He said visions, but wolves they don’t have those, and maybe that’s what triggered him. A fear that she could, and did, and now I’m here, and I came east, and I’m linked.
Oh god, it’s all so messy in my head so I can’t even imagine what’s going on in his, if this is something she told him over eight years ago. I mean, to us the fates and coincidence, it’s a common thing, and we trust in the paths they lay for us with so little questioning of it, but humans… they have a harder time accepting or believing. So many nowadays don’t even believe in god, let alone some supernatural higher power that always has a plan. He’ll calm down, rationalize, and come back to explain why he knew my mother’s name. I mean that’s what he’ll do, right? That’s what I’m praying anyway.
Something strikes a chord in everything I said and now I need to know more. I have to know more. I need to find out what it was Sierra told him all those years ago, that got her sent here and pushed into a coma. Juan is keeping her quiet by convincing people she’s crazy, so I want to know what that is. Especially if my mother’s name is in there somewhere, and she knew I would come, be linked to her son…. How could she know that? Wolves can’t see the future. Only witches and seers and…… Oh god!
This hybrid crap, and Colton being a long-awaited child. None of that could be true, because Juan would never value a mixed breed child the way he does his son. Especially not a witch, those are the sorcerers and demons of the supernatural world, with a kind of voodoo you don’t fuck with. Unless he doesn’t know? But that can’t be, if he knew about this place and the research and left her here. She obviously wanted to know how she could be both witch, and wolf, and find others like her for whatever reason… maybe she wanted to know how to conceive a child without it dying. Juan had to know she wasn’t pure and that makes even less sense given how he is.
Witches and seers, they’re more like the humans, but with gifts that are insanely powerful. Sierra surely couldn’t be a half witch, that’s crazy. She couldn’t hide something like that from the pack all those years, and why doesn’t Colton have any of those gifts? You would know if he could conjure magic, and catch visions, for sure. And then she’s here… a witch has power, so why didn’t she save herself?
Maybe he didn’t know when he mated to her, and maybe when he found out that’s why he banished her here, so the pack would never know and revolt against an alpha mated to an impure. I’ve never heard of anything like this, and it does explain his obsession with making sure Colton has the right Luna. Maybe he’s afraid Colton isn’t pure enough, and it will show in his offspring if he mates badly. Colton definitely has no knowledge of it, I would have seen it in our joined memories.
None of this makes sense. Luna Sierra was in the pack for decades before she had Colton, so surely that can’t be the reason Juan brought her here. He would have known; you can’t hide anything from your mate. Her memories in transference when he marked her would have made sure he knew. Which means he hid what she was. And after decades living that lie, why would he then suddenly banish her to the back of beyond, and what the hell has my other got to do with any of this?
My head spins with all of this, a pulse hitting in the center of my brain with overload and aching so badly I feel like my skull might explode. I end up pacing back to the bed and falling face down on top of it with an ‘arghhh’ noise that reverberates through my entire body it’s so loud. All the doctor has done is give me more questions than answers, and I roll on my side so I can see her across the gap. The lights have shut down out there, so she’s illuminated in the light from her own cell.
“What are you not telling me, Sierra? Why am I here? What are you, and what the hell am I?” I call to her as though somehow it will give me an answer, but she remains still and silent in her cocoon like state, and I exhale heavily. My body trembling with adrenalin as I begin to calm down, but my tears fill up my eyes. It’s not sadness really, but confusion, and frustration, and a gnawing pit of unease that there are things I know nothing of, which clearly have everything to do with why I was guided here in the first place.
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