“Then you’re an even bigger idiot.” I snap, emotionally done and this adds another layer of fatigue to what I can’t handle as it is. Turning my head and staring out the window, tensing up and bristling with that same pain all over again and fighting my own stupid tears. I’m getting so fed up with feeling like shit when it comes to him. And he sits and admits that he maybe knew I should have been more important to him all along. Screw him. It crushes me and I no longer want to talk and figure all of this out. I want him to leave me alone.
“I learn from my mistakes. I’m here, aren’t I?” I can feel his eyes on me, but I refuse to look. Heart stricken with a clawing gnawing slicing agony.
“You can’t undo what’s done. Just drop it, okay. Now isn’t the time to talk about us. We need to get your mom someplace to wake her up, see what the hell she has to say about all of this and how we unbind these gifts that are somehow going to do something in the grand scheme of things.” My voice is low and raspy, I sound upset, yet probably tired, and I can feel him eating away at me with his eyes as he tries to read me.
“I can’t believe I ever doubted you weren’t going to be the Luna we all needed. I was wrong… to doubt you, to doubt us. I really am sorry that I wasn’t what you needed. I can’t tell you how much I regret everything, baby.” There is genuine sorrow and it’s just another nail in his coffin.
“Don’t okay. It’s been a long freaking day and I’m exhausted. I want to close my eyes and think about all of this later. I feel like my head’s going to explode and we’re not even getting the whole picture yet. I’ve been running for so long and I think my body is finally giving up on me.” It’s a hint, turning fully away from him as I try and get comfy on the worst seats ever invented as we bump along a relatively smooth road. Colton looks at me; a long drawn out pause of seconds and relents, exhaling heavily. He knows defeat when he senses it.
“Try and sleep, the manor is a while away and it’s not like I’m about to let you out of my sight anytime soon. We have time to talk. I think I need the headspace too, to figure some stuff out. I can’t believe my mom is laying out behind me. This is all so surreal.” There’s a lightness to what he says, and I blank it.
I curl up against the window fully, not like I needed his permission, but I’m grateful he’ll leave me be. He still has it in his head that I belong to him, even though somewhere out there, most likely this manor, he has an actual mate and he needs to remember that. I’m not his, he’s not mine, and when Sierra wakes up and unbinds me, then we need to figure out how to keep our distance and navigate this if we’re all going to get through it.
Colton’s story and mine, it’s going to head in different directions when Sierra tells us what to do. We both need to accept that and deal with it.
Homestead
The warm sensation sliding around me and the sudden weightlessness I experience wakes me up before his voice does. A feeling of floating, as everything comes back to me and my brain re-engages with my limbs, as warm hands, and body transfer heat to mine.
“Baby, we’re here, wake up.” Colton’s honey tone slides over me as his scent submerges me in a firm cozy hold, submerged in his delicious scent that makes me giddy, and I blink my eyes open to find myself in his arms while being scooped out of the truck as he stands by my door. The night is cloaking in around us but illumination from the front of me makes my eyes blurry as I try to adjust and screw them shut again quickly. Taking a moment to savor the weird in between state of awake and dreaming while being cradled. He has me in his arms, pressing me to him, one under my legs and one around my back while my face is in against the crook of his throat, nestling me in as the cool air brings me round fully.
I slide my hands up his expanse of hard chest impulsively, searching out a place to anchor myself, aiming to slide around his neck when sense fully awakens me and I realize this is probably not wise when my heart is so bruised. That getting all tangled up with Colton is the opposite of what I need. It’s far too easy to accept his touch and his willingness to add intimacy to the mix but I have to be stronger than him.
“I can walk, put me down.” I croak hoarsely, my sleep addled tone heavy and I wriggle to get my legs free. Resisting even if it’s feeble and thankfully he isn’t too set on fighting me.
Colton relents after a moment of hesitation, sliding my feet to the ground carefully, but he keeps me anchored to him with the arm around my waist and tugs me front on. Bodily closing the gap between us and lifts his other hand to stroke my cheek as he leans in to bridge the height difference. Rendering me momentarily senseless, as that burning connection makes my knees buckle almost completely. He cups my face and pulls me in, bringing his forehead down to mine and pushes us together intimately. Our breaths mingling in the cool air and I’m overly aware how dangerously close this is, a slight inch more and he’ll be kissing me. Caught tired, and slow in reaction speed, and somehow feeling vulnerable at waking up to his touch.
“When my mom’s settled in the infirmary, we need to talk. We need to figure this out and fix us. I missed you more than you’ll ever know, Lorey. I’m never letting you go again.” His eyes stray to my lips and that crazy overwhelming urge to lean in and take what he’s pondering doing almost kills me. My own lips parting slightly as the tug of desire pulses through me with fervor and I’m powerless to pull back when caught in his breath this way.
His touch goosebumps my skin all over, the low intensity of his voice drawing me in as if no one else exists around us and I almost weaken to the point of melting into him. My pelvis, and between my thighs heats up to molten lava at this kind of contact with him and I almost have to press my knees together to gain some control. The haze is approaching, and I guess it’s already starting to screw with my libido, or maybe it’s always just him and I’m still a weak fool for this man. More so when caught off guard and too sleep addled to think straight. So easy when this feels so right, but I catch myself and finally muster the strength to pull back, covering his hand with mine and sliding it from my face.
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