Carmen’s eyes mist over, and she turns away swallowing hard, and clears her throat, giving off some strong uncomfortable vibes. Unable to produce words she nods her head and wipes her cheek with the back of her hand in an almost childlike gesture, so I don’t see the breaking of another single tear rolling down her face, and yet I feel her shame and disappointment in herself for letting me see her weak. She just never stops fighting.
“Go sit with your mom and I’ll go see Sierra. I’ll send tea and cake up to your quarters and we can take it from there.” I ignore her behavior and feel somewhat relieved when she moves to walk away from me. Obviously had enough of my company and makes a break for it, thus relieving me of her emotions as she gives me space. I’m sort of glad as this interaction has left me kind of screwed up and confused about my own feelings and exactly how and what to do with Carmen now being here. I need some head space to process all of this.
I hope to God Sierra has a way to help her, maybe soothe and heal Tawna to better accept the past and move forward in a new life with us. I mean a femme whose own mate put her in a coma for eight years to keep her silent might be better at understanding the betrayal and hopelessness she feels. Maybe it will be good for them both.
And I need to go find my mate and talk this out with him, because I am sure as hell feeling weirded out that the girl I told him I didn’t want here this morning, is now on my list of top priorities for the day, and I have no idea how that even happened. I still have no clue how I will react when I finally see them together once more in any kind of interaction.
Tawna
“Hey beautiful, how was your morning?” Colton slides up behind me and wraps his arms around my shoulder, kissing me on the back of the head before nuzzling in close and calming all my anxious energy with one touch. My grounding force that enables me to set my worries free and I almost melt into a warm puddle of soft limbs. It’s in these reunion moments I realize how badly I miss him all day when we aren’t together.
“Interesting. Carmen sought me out, long story, but I sent your mom to go visit with Tawna a while. She’s not doing so good, and we thought it might help. I haven’t had much else to do today except eat, wander the village, be lavished with a ton of gifts I get every time they see me and felt the need to have a nap. I’m so tired today and I have no idea why.” I curl my arms over his and sink back, nestling my head in the crook of his throat and sigh heavily, closing my eyes as I submerge into my own personal heavenly space. Colton’s familiar seductive masculine scent and hot body temperature overpowers my skin and air and further pushes that feeling of being cocooned in paradise.
“Stress, maybe. Carmen, huh… and yet she still lives? Maybe you’re sick” He jests, pulling a hand up to cover my forehead in mock testing that I have a fever and I elbow jab him in the abs lightly.
“Ha, ha! I felt sorry for her…. She seems different.” I state blankly, so not ready to open the can of worms known as my emotions after my encounter with her earlier. I am not one hundred percent certain I even know how I feel about her being here at all.
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve avoided her like the plague since they arrived. I’ve been busy and I just don’t know how to navigate that mess. I’m being a coward.” He exhales against my temple and impulsively slides one of his hands over my breast for a quick grope and then heads for my waist to snuggle in tight. My body tingles at his touch and it ignites that never fading libido that exists between us.
“Stop avoiding her. She’s one of the pack! …. She’s not a threat. I won’t get mad at you for interacting with her because I know it has to happen sooner or later. I don’t think her focus lies with us anymore anyway, and she seems lost somehow. I got the impression that you and I are way low on her list of things to fuck up.” Sometimes I can’t fault my mate’s loyalty, and I know the only reason he’s avoiding her is in case it upsets me. He’s transparent as glass sometimes.
I trust him, trust our bond and I know he harbors no kind of romantic feelings for her anymore so really, logically, I shouldn’t have any kind of jealousy over her. She needs an alpha who cares, she needs to feel she belongs with these people and if Colton showing her a little kindness does that, then I am okay with it, I guess. I mean, I may feel weird at first but I’m sure as it happens more frequently, I might normalize it and no longer care.
I don’t doubt where his heart lies; he’s shown me for the last six months how much he loves me, and I have absolutely nothing to worry about in terms of his ex being on scene again. He’s mine, he always will be. Our bond is the strongest thing in this world. Just look at Sierra…. even when you don’t want it, it still doesn’t die.
“Well, you’ve certainly let it sink in since this morning, haven’t you? I won’t avoid her; I just think it’s better to not spend too much time around her. It’s only been a few months and I don’t want you feeling insecure or her getting any kind of wrong signals.” Colton nuzzles my neck expertly and my knees weaken with his attentions as he surrounds me with sexy affection in a bid to make the topic less tense.
“What’s her story anyway. I always took her for spoiled and conceited, but I don’t know… she seems so vulnerable now. It’s like I am seeing a different girl and I wonder if maybe it was always there, and I never noticed it before.” I push my butt into his groin to let him know his kisses down my neck are good, better than, and he slides my dress across my shoulder a little to access more skin, tracing his lips over my nape and across the skin gently. He sets me on fire, and I close my eyes and have to fight the moan deep in my throat as I surrender to tingles and goosebumps all over.
“Carmen has always been hard to read and figure out…. An enigma in a way. Her dad mated up for opportunity and not love which I guess started the whole mess of her family. Her mom isn’t exactly one of the strongest of femmes, or capable, but her bloodline is one of the oldest and the pairing put him in my father’s sights. Marco wanted a son, Tawna gave him a girl, and they have been a fractured dysfunctional family since. I know from things my father said that he doesn’t put any effort into his own family; he feels they weigh him down and make him look bad.”
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