“Wait, what, red?” Meadow is the one to question in bold shock, and stares at me for a second, blinking as it dawns on her why mine are red too. Knowing fine well all the ones we encountered had amber eyes like ours, or palest orange. Always dull though and not glowy like a wolf. She didn’t seem to really take note of Darrius when her focus was on me this morning so I’m guessing she missed his devil look.
“Sounds like I missed a whole lot.” Sierra’s face crumples with concern at the mention of us meeting vampires and I doubt she got very much from these two before I walked up here.
“I can memory share everything when we’re alone. I need to talk to you by myself.” I add softly giving Meadow the hint I want some time out to share my news. Leyanne seems to pick up on it too, that I don’t want them to mention the pregnancy until I get to do it alone with her. Meadow smiles softly and nods and Leyanne remains completely unchanged although she seems to agree without any kind of gesture.
“I need a place to work and figure out some things. Do you still access the tunnels to the grimoire library?” Leyanne glances to Sierra and gets a nod which seems to brighten her expression.
“Yes, Meadow can take you, seeing as I know you don’t need help with access. Take as long as you need.” Sierra graciously offers and stands to show respect to the leaving witch. This is Leyanne’s way of giving us space I guess and Sierra’s way of leaving us alone, so we get no arguments.
As they rise to leave, a knock on the door sees a guard bringing in food sent from Carmen, but no sign of her behind and I raise a brow at the lack of her presence.
“Carmen asked me to deliver this and inform you she has retired to her room. She hopes the Luna understands she needs to lay down for a little while.” He answers a question before I even ask, and I sit back when the chicken salad and pasta is laid out before me as he retreats in the same direction as Meadow and Leyanne. I have no issue with Carmen needing alone time, I’m just saddened that she carries everything alone.
“Thank you.” I throw after him and push my plate closer to Sierra, seeing the monster portion Carmen has sent up. I think she took eating for three as a literal guide. It’s almost overflowing and most definitely too much for even one half-starved wolf.
“Want to share?” I smile softly at my Rema, but she shakes her head. Her eyes steady on me, as she seems to be reading my posture, thinking something through.
“I ate already but go ahead, you look tired and famished. Now what is it you want to talk about. How was the journey? Did you see Colton out there?” Her voice is strained, obvious emotion lingering in her throat at the mention of her son, and I wonder how many times she has seen him through the fog and saw how feral our pack seem to be. I can feel her agony at how they’re living. Like wild animals out there.
I know showing her the memories first will answer all her questions and tell her what it is I want to share, but I don’t want it that way. I want her reaction face on, from my own words. To see the light of happiness break in that sad expression. I pull her hand to mine and cradle it against my cheek impulsively. Needing my adopted mother’s touch as a grounding force for my chaotic emotions. I take a steadying breath and rip off the band aid.
“You’re going to be a grandmother…. To twins.” I breathe it out finding it weird to say the words loud so matter of fact, my heart suddenly hammering in my chest. She gasps and retracts her hand in shock as she covers her mouth, overwhelmed and not expecting this statement, while tears spring to her eyes. I can read her instant abundance of happiness and it warms my cold soul, reassuring me a little that this is not as awful as it seemed at first.
“You’re…. you’re sure?” she begins to blubber, her words broken, her mouth trembling. Emotions frayed, which pushes my own to frazzle too and my eyes mist over. Regret and longing hitting my heart that I would give anything for Colton to be here for this. There’s a hint of tension that she doesn’t want to get her hopes up, an underlying glimmer of fear because I know she suffered so many losses when trying to carry a child.
“Well, I only have the witch’s word for it, but I intend to have the doctor confirm at least the fact I’m pregnant tomorrow when we’ve all rested well. She assured me on the best way to carry to full term too, so don’t worry. Okay?” I throw it out there, seeing the smoothing of her brow as that niggle is exposed and she smiles so widely it’s almost like being beamed on by the sun.
“If Leyanne says it’s so, I wouldn’t doubt it. Oh Alora, I’m so happy, Colton’s going to be so …” the words die on her lips and her joy diminishes into real tears of pain as his name slices a wound in both our hearts. The effervescent mood tumbling back to the abyss with one simple word.
“Yes, he will…. when we get him home. Because that’s what’s going to happen and there’s no other way that’s going to go.” I state, sounding surer than I feel but knowing I have to believe or else I might not get through another hour. Colton’s absence alone is draining me so badly.
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