Kester exhaled, set his drink down beside him, and leaned forward, “You want me to see a doctor?”
The question hit me like lee water.
I stiffened. He had read right through me.
“Kester…” I hesitated, watching his fingers flex against his highs. “I just maybe you should talk to someone. It’s not… I mean… You hold back until I’m about to collapse You never let yourself just… feel. Like you’re punishing yourself.”
His jaw twitched.
“And if I am?” he asked, his voice deceptively calm.
My pulse kicked up. “Then you shouldn’t be. Why should you?”
Kester let out a slow, humorless chuckle, avoiding my question. “You think I need fixing, huh?”
I swallowed hard. “I think you need help.”
Silence.
Perhaps the therapy he had gotten a few years ago wasn’t enough. Maybe he hadn’t entirely healed yet.
He fucked like one who was angry at the world, even though in all of that, he still made sure I derived the utmost pleasure there was to derive.
He tilted his head slightly, eyes locked on mine, but I refused to look away.
One second, he was sitting, and the next, he was in the pool, the water barely making a sound as his body dropped in it.
I gasped as he closed the distance between us in an instant, his arms caging me against the edge. The scent of whiskey and heat wrapped around me, drowning out the coolness of the water.
“I have a really high sex drive, Mine. One that is almost insatiable. And to satisfy myself, I’d ruin you beyond imagination…” He said in a serious tone before he smirked, “That’s why I hold back, and that’s why it takes me longer to reach my climax.”
A startled gasp left my lips as his body pressed against mine. Again.
“Kester…” I was sincerely worried, hoping he wouldn’t demand more sex right now. I would just die if he did “Let yourself feel. It might not be as terrible as you make it sound.” I said like the naive little girl I was.
“You worry too much,” he murmured, his lips grazing the hell of my ear. “You overthink too much.”
I swallowed, my heartbeat hammering against my ribs as 1placed both my hands on his chest “Someone has to.”
His fingers trailed down my side, slow and possessive. “You think I don’t feel anything?” he mused. “That I don’t want to feel more? I actually feel, Mine… And I want to feel more. But I am scared…”
His breath fanned against my damp skin, warm despite the chill of the water. His fingers trailed lower, resting against my waist.
“What are you scared of?” 1 whispered.
Kester didn’t answer immediately. His grip on me tightened slightly, his fingers flexing as if warring with himself. Then, hesitantly, his lips brushed against my temple, “Scared of losing myself in you. Scared of hurting you”
I froze.
His hand moved, sliding up my back, fingers tangling into my wet hair as he pressed his forehead against mine.
“I hold back, Kasmine,” he murmured. “Not because I don feel-but because I feel too much.” His voice dropped. lower, “Because every time I touch you, every time I hear you moan my name, I feel myself slipping deeper. And I don’t know if I’ll ever find my way back.”
His confession sent a shiver down my spine, different from the chill of the water.
“You make it sound like that’s a bad thing,” Fmurmured, my hands tightening against his chest, attempting to put a distance between us.
His chuckle was quiet, almost bitter. “Because it is.”
I shook my head slightly, looking up at him, searching his expression. “Why?”
His coal-black eyes flicked over my face, his jaw clenching, For a moment, I thought he wouldn’t answer. But then, his grip on me softened, his thumb brushing over my check with an almost reverent touch.
“Because I don’t trust myself,” he admitted. “Not with you!!
A lump formed in my throat.
“I can control everything else in my life,” he continued, “I can control my anger. My desires. My urges.” His eyes darkened, his forehead pressing harder against mine “But can’t control you. What I feel for you.”
He kissed me for a moment but I was too self-aware that I didn’t let myself fall for it.
I cleared my throat when he pulled away, desperate to change the topic because I didn’t like the fact that he was becoming hard and aroused again.
“I need a favor from you, Kes,” I said, and he rested his head on my chest like a child.
“Anything, Mine. Whatever you want, just say it, and it’s yours,” he said, and my stomach fluttered like there were a hundred butterflies inside.
“Promise?” I asked to make sure. Kester doesn’t go back on his promises. I knew that about him.
“I promise.” He replied drowsily like my embrace brought him a kind of comfort he rarely had
“I want you to undo what you did to Jake.” I blurted out quickly like the words burned. His body stiffened instantly, and I knew why he had made a promise he wouldn’t be able to go back on.
Slowly, he lifted his head from my chest, locking his angry gaze on mine. He didn’t say a word. Instead, he held my gaze so intently that my heart slammed hard against my ribs.
I swallowed when the tension and silence sat comfortably between us
His lips lifted in a small smirk before he spoke, “Okay.”
That was all he said.
I should be happy. But why did I feel… Scared? Worried?
His hand, which was still tangled in my hair, pushed me forward so close to him, but he still didn’t say a word. Instead, his gaze flicked from my eyes to my lips and back to my eyes again before claiming my lips in a hard, unforgiving kiss.
I gasped into his mouth, but he didn’t give me the chance to do more than gasp.
Oh, gods. I didn’t want this now.
I whimpered when his other hand rested on my thigh, attempting to part them, but I resisted.
“Why?” He breathed into the kiss, “Can’t pay for a simple favor? Huh?” He asked, his voice holding a dangerous intent.
Just as if the Moon Goddess felt my terror, we heard the bigate slide open with force. I stilled, every nerve in my body snapping to attention, but Kester? He didn’t even fling. He seemed not to give a fuck as he continued to kiss me like a starved animal.
“Gerald!” I heard a familiar voice calling out to the chief security guard of the house, and I could feel the frustration in her tone as she marched into the large compound.
It was June.
Gerald would be dead by the end of tonight for leaving the gate unlocked before stepping out. Kester would make sure of it, and I felt bad for him already.
My heartbeat pounded violently against my ribs. I pushed against Kester’s chest, but he wouldn’t budge. His fingers dug into my hips, his tongue sliding deeper into my mouth as if he was hell-bent on her finding us.
Was he out of his fucking mind?
The pool wasn’t so far from the entrance, and June wouldn’t have had a hard time finding us here. For those who had gotten their wolves, hearing from afar isn’t a problem to them. They could pick up on the faintest sounds and scents.
Kester paused, slowly pulling away when I bit hard on his lower lip until I tasted blood. He needed to be brought back to reality.
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