“I survived losing my mother,” he whispered hoarsely, “but it turned me into something else. Something colder and harder. It broke pieces of me that I never got back.”
He touched my face like he was afraid I’d disappear if he blinked.
“But you…” he shook his head, voice cracking wide open, “you didn’t just fill the spaces she left behind – you built new ones. You made me believe I could be more than the wreckage she left behind.”
A tear slid down his face. He didn’t even wipe it away.
“If I lose you, Kasmine…” His voice dropped to a shattered whisper, There won’t be anything left of me worth saving.” Another tear. Then another. “I’ll still be breathing,” he said, “but I won’t be alive.”
He cradled my face in his hands, his thumbs trembling against my cheeks.
“You’ve been saving me more times than you can ever remember… You’re the only thing in this whole damn world that ever felt like home, Like peace. Like something pure I wasn’t meant to touch, but somehow… somehow, you let me anyway.”
I couldn’t see him anymore through the blur of my own tears.
“Please…” he whispered, forehead resting against mine again, his entire body shaking from the intensity of everything he was carrying. “Please don’t leave me little sister. Please don’t take the only good thing I ever had.”
His shaky thumb brushed over my lips, and before I could think, before I could even breathe, he leaned in and kissed me.
It was soft.
Broken.
Shattering.
A kiss that said, I’m sorry. I’m scared. I’m yours, even if you don’t want me.
His mouth barely moved against mine. He just clung to me like I was life itself. And maybe I was… To him.
–
And for a moment – just a moment I let him kiss me. I let him pour all the pain, all the desperate love he couldn’t find the words for, into me.
But the ache in my chest grew too unbearable. So, I slowly pulled back.
His hands loosened immediately like he was afraid of hurting me.
I opened my eyes and found him already staring at me.
“I just… I just need some rest, Kester.”
His face crumpled for a fraction of a second nod. a blink-and-miss-it flash of devastation but he quickly masked it, forcing a small
“Of course,” he murmured hoarsely, stepping back, giving me space even though it clearly tore him apart.
Without another word, I turned away, hugging my arms around myself as I walked toward the staircase.
KESTER.
21 YEARS AGO.
It was happening again.
The yelling.
I slammed my door shut and pressed my back against it, trying to block out the angry voices. I could hear them in the kitchen and then in the living room, and then their voices would get ouder all the way up to their bedroom.
Why did they always fight? Why couldn’t they just stop?
I wasn’t a grown-up – I was only seven – but I didn’t understand. Why couldn’t we just be like the other families I saw? The ones that smiled and laughed and made cookies together. Why was it always like this at home?
Mum ad Dad were always involved in one fight or another.
Their fights never stopped.
Their anger never cooled.
And somewhere along the way, my mother’s love for me nished.
I was nothing more than a disposable variable in their equation. Just a quiet thing in the corner, hoping someone would remember I was there.
The negligence.
The hatred from my mother for no reason.
It wasn’t always like this. Mum used to smile at me. She used to hold me tight and tell me I was the best thing in her world. And
Dad
– he used to take me shopping for fishing rods, showing me how to put the worm on the hook, telling me to be patient.
He used to ruffle my hair and call me his “little champ.”
I used to feel like they loved me.
But now, I wasn’t a son to them anymore. I was just something they forgot to count when adding up what mattered.
I’d lie in bed, curled up with my blanket, wishing for a new family. I wanted a family where people smiled and hugged and didn’t yell all the time. A family where they would look at me and say, “I love you,” and I wouldn’t have to wonder if I was even supposed to be there.
I promised myself I’d be different when I grew up. I’d find my mate, and I’d love her like I’d never been loved before. I’d make sure my kids never felt forgotten or like they weren’t wanted. I wouldn’t ever hurt them like this.
The crash of glass breaking downstairs snapped me back to the present.
“You slimy whore! You’ve got some nerves, huh?” Dad yelled. His voice sounded so mean like it always did now.
Mum just laughed. But it wasn’t a nice laugh. It was loud and crazy, nothing like how she used to be.
Mum wasn’t like this before. She used to be a happy, cheerful woman who did her Luna duties and loved her pack members tenderly.
She used to be the Luna every woman in the pack admired. She was raceful, kind, beautiful inside and out. She’d smile at every pup and know every pack member’s name by heart. She was the heart of ur home.
But how the tables flipped so hard that she was almost a laughingstock was still surprising to me.
When did everything beautiful in her get swallowed up by bitterness
When did we stop being a family?
“If you are tired, let me go, Kade! I don’t want to be witly you anymore! Reject me and let me go!” Mum shouted, and my stomach felt like it was falling down and down, like when you’re on a really high swing.
No.
No, no, no.
I didn’t want Mum to leave. I couldn’t live without her. No matter how badly she treated me now, and even though she doesn’t love me like she used to, I loved her so much. She was my mother. She had to stay.
All the other kids had nice families. Norlan’s Mum would take him out and buy him new toys all the time. She even gave him extra snacks for school, and sometimes, she’d pack me some too. I used to think that if Norlan’s Mum was mine, maybe things would be ‘different. Maybe I’d feel loved. Maybe she wouldn’t scream at me.
“Over my dead body, Viola!” Dad’s voice was loud and rough as if he was trying to make the walls shake. “I’ll never reject you.”
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