The sound snapped me out of my misery. I slowly sat up on the bed, placing my palm on my forehead as if it could calm the wicked ache I felt in my skull.
“Come in,” I said, wincing a little.
The door pushed open and I saw Mum walk in.
“Not again, Mum. I told you my stance already. I will not reject him. Quit trying,” I rolled my eyes, flopping back against the pillows.
Since I returned home after Claire’s death, Mum had made it a point of duty to pester me on the matter of my bond with Kester. Every conversation we’ve had was just a new version of the same push – reject him, reject him, reject him.
I was already getting scared of eating or drinking anything in this house. I kept second-guessing everything offered to me, to avoid being fed with abortion pills unknowingly.
I hated this. I hated being this paranoid. And even more, I hated her for making me feel like I h be.
“No, baby. That’s not why I am here,” she said, her words coming a little rushed, “Here,” she handed her phone over to me, “Someone is on the phone. He wants to speak with you.” narrowed my brows, sitting up again, “Who is it?”
“Here. Talk to him,” She shoved the phone into my hand.
My thumb hovered over the screen before I finally pressed it to my ear.
“Hello?” I croaked, watching my inum walk out of the room.
There was a pause before I heard a familiar voice, “Hey, Kasmine
Afy heart skipped a beat.
Oh, God.
I didn’t know why I instantly felt this way. Perhaps it was gullt. Or sadness. Maybe even pity.
But something inside me dro and I hated how it made my breath catch.
“Jake,” I whispered. That was all I could manage.
Another pause followed.
“How are you, babe?” He asked ever so softly as if sounding firmer than that could shatter me.
I hesitated before murmuring, “I’m fine.”
I pressed a hand to my chest. It suddenly hurt to breathe. hadn’t called Jake after the night at the motel. I was too busy trying to survive and putting myself first. but because I had treated someone who once meant so much to me like they had never even mattered in the
And now, I felt like a monster. And it wasn’t because I didn’t still care for him – no. I actually did, in a strange, faded, broken way first place.
He had loved me so hard and pure, even when he shouldn’t have. And I just went cold on him just like that.
“I heard about Claire,” Jake said softly, cutting into my thoughts. His voice cracked a little. “God, Kasmine… I’m so sorry. can’t even believe it. She was… she was amazing. I was devastated when I heard.”
Kerryn Day-Francis oh Kasmine… you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t make the dumb call. lol… I closed my eyes. That guilt gain… A different kind, though.
Yeah,” I whispered, “I felt that way too.”
Another awkward silence followed.
I could hear Jake breathing shakily on the other end like he was trying to hold something back.
Then came the question I had feared would eventually surface.
“…Are you really going to accept him, Kester… as your mate?”
I felt the breath slip from my lungs.
I looked up at the ceiling, blinking fast, trying to keep my voice steady. “Jake…” I called softly, but he interrupted me before I could speak again.
“Then what happens to us, Kasmine?” He exhaled, and I could almost see him closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, “What happens to… to everything we’ve shared? What happens to the love I gave you? What happens to me?”
My heart twisted.
His voice cracked and it felt like each word hurt to let out. “I don’t know how to breathe without you anymore. You were everything to me.”
My eyes stung instantly. A wave of guilt crashed into me before I could brace myself. Tears slid down my cheeks.
“Jake…” I croaked.
“I loved you,” he whispered. “I still love you. Every second. Every minute. You are my whole world, Kasmine. How am I supposed to just… walk away?”
I couldn’t speak. The sob caught in my chest like a knot I couldn’t untangle.
He sighed… The way someone exhales when they’re trying not to fall apart.
“Please… Can I see you tonight?” I stiffened, “I just… I just want to see you. Let’s talk. Just once.”
“Jake, no… I…” I wiped at my tears, a slight panic setting in. “You can’t just call me like this and ask to meet up. It’s not that simple.”
“I know it’s not,” he said quickly, “I know it’s complicated and messy and maybe even pointless I need this, Kasmine. I need to see you. Just to talk. That’s all I’m asking.”
“And what then?” I asked, swallowing hard. “What’s the point? We are already hurting enough, Jake. I mean…” I swear, I didn’t know what else to say. I just closed my eyes, sucked in a deep breath, and massaged my throbbing temple with one hand.
“If… if after tonight, you still choose him, then I’ll back off. I swear it. But I can’t walk away without looking you in the eyes one last time. I just… I can’t.”
My heart clenched. I looked over at the clock. 6:07 PM.
I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see it. “Jake… It’s already late. I can’t just leave the house now,” bring you back,” he rushed out desperately, tripping over his words, “I swear. In my uncle’s car. We’ll talk and I’ll drop you back even before eight. Please, Kasmine. Just give me this one chance,”
“Jake…”
“Please,” he cut in, “Please, Kasmine. I’m not asking you to choose me tonight. I’m just asking… don’t let it end like this.”
My fingers tightened around the phone. I could practically feel his longing through the line.
I stared at the floor, my thoughts spinning.
I knew I shouldn’t go. If Kester found out I’d gone to meet Jake. there was no telling how he’d react. Kester didn’t do “jealousy” gently. He didn’t do “restraint.” And even though I had asked him for space, I didn’t think he’d be okay with me going behind his back to see the one person he absolutely loathed.
But at the same time, I couldn’t live with myself if I let things end like this with Jake. He deserved better. He deserved closure. And so did I.
Llet out a loud exhale, hoping I wasn’t signing our death warrant by doing this.
“Okay,” I whispered. “I’ll come.”
Author’s Note: An extra chapter coming up shortly. Trust me, you aren’t ready for what’s to come. #winks.
Kerryn Day-Francis oh Kasmine… you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t make the dumb call. lol
KESTER
You need to go home, man. You could use some test, Norlan ged me but the thought of returning home made something twist in my stomach.
The thought of being in the same house with Kasmine without being able to see her killed me. I’d rather not be home right now. And, perhaps, tomorrow, I’d get her out of the pack house already. It was time to return to our home.
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