But they didn’t know that.
If she told me to kill someone? I wouldn’t ask why. I’d ask how many.
Susanne Winther… I loooove this book, but I am missing some more ending to the story….is it coming?
If she asked me to die? I’d look her dead in the eye and ask how slow she wanted it.
I was made for her. I live and breathe for her.
She could make me anything. Twist me. Shape me. Break me down to nothing and rebuild me into something only her hands would reengnize, and the Her raw clay.
If she asks me to be good? I’ll be a fucking priest, put on a robe and a collar and say “Amen.”
And if she asks me to be bad? I’ll march down to hell, rip the fucking throne from the devil himself, and make that bastard kneel while I become a god over him.
God, I’ll die without her.
I don’t know how much time passed. Could’ve been an hour. Could’ve been my whole goddamn life. But finally, the doctors stepped out of the theatre. And I swear to God, the air in my lungs didn’t move until I saw their eyes.
Why were their expressions so heavy, like they’d just walked out of a fucking war zone?
I felt my chest collapse inwards.
My heart wasn’t beating. It was tearing, begging for something that wouldn’t destroy me.
The one in front – mid-forties, greying at the temples, with eyes a little too glassy took off his mask and looked straight at me.
“Kester Hamilton?”
I stood up before I even realized it, every muscle in my body locked and trembling.
Jorja’s hand was still gripping mine. Norlan was beside me. I don’t think either of them was breathing either.
The doctor took a slow breath. “Your wife is out of danger now. She’s stable. We managed to stop the bleeding and…”
I didn’t hear the rest.
My knees nearly buckled, that I had to sit for a moment.
The wave of relief that crashed into me was so fucking loud, it drowned everything out.
My chest caved, then expanded so fast I almost choked on it. I dropped my face into both hands, let out a sound that was too close to a sob, and dragged my palms down my face just to be sure I was still here and that this wasn’t a fucking dream.
Jorja gasped beside me. She pressed her hands to her mouth, allowing the tears to spill even harder.
Norlan let out a breath like he’d been holding it for hours, and finally leaned back against the wall with closed eyes.
She’s alive.
She made it.
God, she made it.
The doctor nodded softly, giving us a second before clearing his throat and adding, “Were you aware… that your wife was seven weeks pregnant?*
Everything stopped.
Jorja froze. Norlan’s head snapped toward him. My heart fucking fell through the floor,
“Yes,” Jorja said quickly, in a shaky voice, “Yes, we knew,”
The doctor hesitated just for a second. Then his eyes lowered, like he didn’t want to say what he had to.
“I’m sorry, but…”
“What the fuck happened to my baby?” I was already on my feet, my whole body shaking so hard I thought my bones would snap. My vales didn’t even sound like mine. It was all terror. Pure, rabid terror.
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see. I co Fuck, No.
If anything happens to that baby…
No.
If anything happens to that baby, Kasmine wouldn’t recover. I know her.
And me?
I wouldn’t either.
I could survive war, a silver knife, a fucking hurricane. But watching Kasmine… I won’t just break. I’d fucking shatter. grieve and live in guilt and regret all her life?
“Hey,” Norlan grabbed my arm and steadied me. “Kes. Breathe. Calm down. Let him finish.”
I nodded, but I was one second away from losing my goddamn mind.
The doctor went on, “She was pregnant with triplets,” he said gently. “But before you got here, the trauma triggered a partial miscarriage.”
Shit. I knew he had nothing good to say.
…So, she lost one.” The doctor added, and I instantly forgot how to breathe.
I just stood there, looking at him while he went on saying something about how, “It was too early, but they were able to stabilize the remaining two embryos, and that they’re holding on just fine…”
His words sounded so distant as the only words echoing in my head now were…
Triplets.
She was pregnant with triplets.
And now… There were two.
And they were holding on just fine.
I dropped to my knees right there in the hallway, like someone yanked the ground out from under me. Didn’t give a shit who was looking. My hands covered my mouth. My eyes burned. My ears rang. My head fucking spun.
I buried my face in my hands and laughed… No. I cried. Or, perhaps I was somewhere in between. My chest cracked open from the relief. It was almost unbearable.
One was gone.
But two were still here,
Two. Were. Still. Here.
We were going to be parents to two.
*Fuck,” I whispered, dragging a hand over my mouth. “Fucking-fuck-
Jorja was already holding onto me again with her arms around my shoulders.
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