“My father was a politician. His job wasn’t all that different from my current job with the IGC, actually.” The wry twist of his lips told me he was deeply unsettled by that fact, but now that he’d started talking, no way was I interrupting.
“From the outside, our family was perfect. A fated couple with their two perfect children, high achievers in school, in athletics for me, and my sister, Lilly, was exceptional at the violin. But on the inside? We were rotten to the core. He was. Nothing we did was ever good enough. There was no degree of perfection that wouldn’t make him snap the second we were alone behind closed doors.”
And he thought he was turning into his father. Because of the episodes? I wasn’t sure.
“I don’t know if he hit my mother before I came along, all I know is that once I was big enough to get between them, he transferred the beatings to me. It was hell on earth, that house. And I didn’t want any damn thing more than freedom. But it was the one thing I couldn’t have.”
His smile was bitter, then, as he rocked back on his heels and stared up at the treetops, the little bits of blue sky we could see through the leaves casting a dappled pattern over his face. Such a beautiful day for such a tragic story.
“Because you didn’t want to leave your mother and sister?” I guessed, the deep sense of regret I now felt from him telling me this story didn’t have a happy ending.
“Because I couldn’t let him go back to hitting them. So I stayed. But I was an angry kid by that point, and it pissed me off that I was stuck. More than that, it disgusted me that everyone we knew worshipped the ground he walked on. Like he was Zeus in the flesh, straight off Mount Olympus.”
He laughed, the sound hollow. “One day, I came home from a day out with a few of my buddies. He’d come home early from work. He’d beaten the shit out of both of them. I found Lilliana hiding in a closet, still crying. He’d broken her favorite violin in a fit of rage. Her lip was bloody, and she was covered in welts. But he got away with it because we always healed so fast. He could beat me to a pulp at night, and every day, I woke up fit as a fiddle, ready to be trotted out like a show pony all over again.”
“Goddess,” I whispered, the mental image too awful to contemplate. I finally reached for his hand, unable to hold myself back anymore.
“The Goddess wasn’t in that house.”
I bit my lip, unwilling to argue that point. He’d obviously felt completely alone, with no one to turn to, and no way in hell was I going to invalidate that experience. But what did that have to do with us?
He shook his head, continuing with a different kind of regret in his voice. “I was so mad at myself. If I hadn’t gone out, they’d have been safe. If I could just get a job, I could get them away from him once and for all.”
He closed his eyes, and the dread in the pit of my stomach grew claws, sank them in deep.
“I got wind of a job two towns over. The pay was shit, but it came with a room over a tavern. I could give Mom and Lilly the bedroom, and sleep on the floor. We’d be safe. We could pack up while he was at work, and be gone before he knew where we went. The packs back then didn’t care about abuse, so the Alpha would never step in. We were on our own, and it was the perfect opportunity. But I had to sneak out one night to get the owner to give me the job.”
He paused, as if it was too painful to continue, the words lodged in his throat. “Lucien, it’s okay??”
“No, it’s not. Because when I snuck out, Lilly followed me. I didn’t know it at the time. I’d shifted, carrying my clothes in my mouth so they wouldn’t get messed up by the trip, and I could get there quicker. She was always a smart girl, smarter than me by a mile. She stayed downwind. When I heard the gunshot, I got this feeling that something was wrong. Our family bond was never healthy, but the darkness??”
A tear slid down his cheek, and I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around him as tightly as I could. His pain was so thick, it was choking me. And I hadn’t lived it.
“It was a hunter. She was smaller, not an alpha like me. The hunter had been tracking me with his wolfsbane bullets, but caught her instead. The bastard left her there for the vultures.”
“I’m so sorry, Lucien.”
“I’m not done yet.” The acid in his tone was enough to melt my bones. But I held him tighter. I probably should have run, but there was no way I was letting him go. Not now.
Not ever.
“I carried her body back home. I didn’t know what else to do. My parents were awake, my mom frantic. She’d felt it in the bond, but didn’t want to believe it. But when I lay her on the couch, my father lost it. He beat me to a pulp, and I let him. Didn’t raise a fist to defend myself. The funeral was three days later. We laid her to rest in the family crypt, and by then, I was so numb, I couldn’t even cry, not even for my baby sister. So numb, I didn’t realize anything was wrong until my mother lay down over the coffin and didn’t get back up.”
I gasped, tears freely streaming down my cheeks at this point. “What happened?”
“Poison, taken right before the funeral. She couldn’t bear to live in such an evil world anymore. The only blessing was that she took my bastard of a father with her through their bond.”
Lucien
Ifinally drew up the courage to look at Olivia again, after pouring out the ugly truth of my past. Her cheeks were tearstained, her beautiful green eyes damp with more unshed tears.
“Don’t cry, hellcat. I’ve done enough to you. You don’t need to cry for me.”
She shook her head, biting that sweet bottom lip. I tugged it free gently, soothing it over with the pad of my thumb.
“You’re not done yet,” she said, shocking me. I’d told her every ugly detail. What was left to say? I was broken, toxic, grown from bad seed. “That is all horrible. And I’m so incredibly sorry you went through that. But why does that mean you have to push me away? Because the one time you scratched me, that was an accident. That is not the same as intentionally abusing your wife and children for years.”
I looked away again, unable to meet her gaze. Her beautiful, demanding gaze.
“Olivia, I??”
“Hellcat. My name is hellcat to you.”
A ghostly wisp of joy filled me at her fire. “Hellcat,” I amended, squeezing her a little tighter, even though I was an ass for doing it. “I’m unstable. I’ve already hurt you once, and yes, it was an accident. But I’m not some well-adjusted mate ready to sweep you off your feet and give you the world. I’m angry. I want revenge. I can’t go down that path and not hurt you. And my wolf? Fuck. Everything I touch is broken. Even the one thing a shifter takes for granted: a bond with their wolf. That may never get fixed. But there’s one good decision that I can make right now, and that’s to keep you safe, the way I couldn’t keep Lilly safe. You reminded me of her, the day I first saw you. You don’t look alike, but there’s this goodness inside you that shines through.”
She was already shaking her head, holding me at arm’s length so she could stare me down when I tried to cup her cheek. “I don’t accept that. I don’t accept this absurd idea that you’re going to break me. I’m tougher than I look. And your past doesn’t have to define you. What your father did isn’t your responsibility. You were a better man than him even at nineteen. You stayed, you protected the ones you loved. He wasn’t one hundredth the man you are. And your sister’s death was not your fault.”
“If I’d protected them, they’d still be alive.”
There it was, my ultimate wound. The wound that never healed, no matter how many centuries passed. No matter how much I drank, how much pussy I chased.
I was a failure. A devil, doomed from the start.
You might look like an angel, but you ruin everything you touch. You’re no angel. You’re a devil in an angel’s disguise.
I closed my eyes as my father’s voice echoed in my head, as crisp as if he stood at my side, looking down his nose at me right now. There was no way I was going to lose my hellcat the way I’d lost my mother and sister. I could feel it, the ghostly weight of Olivia’s body, limp in my arms, just like Lilliana’s. I could never let that future come to pass.
More Kickass Werewolf Reads
Dive into our collection of free werewolf romance novels—where fierce Alphas, daring heroines, and heart-stopping twists await. Every story burns with forbidden desire, loyalty, and destiny. Don’t wait—here’s a world where love bites hard and nothing is stronger than the call of the mate.
Leave a Reply