And I didn’t know how I would ever come back from it.
KILLIAN’S POV
“Fuck!” I growled, slamming my fist into the wall. Hard. Again. And again. And again. My knuckles were already bloody, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t care. It was the only thing keeping me from falling apart.
I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have touched her like that. Not like that. Not when she begged me to stop. Not when she was already crying. Fuck, what the hell is wrong with me?
I dragged a hand through my hair, pacing the room, trying to breathe, but every time I blinked, I could still see her face, her eyes filled with pain and disgust and hate. Her voice when she screamed I hate you. It was like a knife straight through my chest.I punched the wall again, letting out another curse. I didn’t deserve her. I didn’t deserve a second chance. I went too far. I lost control. I let whatever the fuck was inside me take over, and now she’ll never look at me the same again.
A knock came at the door. It was Richard. My secretary and also a member of my pack.
“Alpha?”
“What?!” I snapped, even though I didn’t mean to. My voice was rough, broken.
Richard stepped in. “I saw her leaving… should I go after her? Stop her from leaving?”
I turned away from him, staring at the floor like it had answers. My fists clenched again.
“No,” I said. “Leave her.”
Richard was about to leave when the silence became too much. I didn’t want to be alone with this guilt. I couldn’t.
“Wait.”
He stopped. “Yes, Alpha?”
I turned slowly to face him. I don’t know why I did it. I don’t know why the words started pouring out. Maybe I just needed to say them. Maybe I needed someone, anyone, to hear me.
“I fucked up, Richard.
He blinked. He didn’t say anything.
I sat down on the edge of my desk, my shoulders slumped like the weight of the world was pressing me down.
“I fucked up,” I repeated, my voice lower now. More tired. More real. “I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me.”
Richard looked at me like he wanted to help, but didn’t know how.
“I didn’t plan to hurt her,” I continued, my voice breaking. “I swear to God, I didn’t. I just wanted to make things right with her. I wanted to talk. I wanted to fix it. But when she started saying his name again… I lost it. I don’t know what came over me. I just I just couldn’t control myself.”
I was breathing hard My vision blurred for a second.
“You know what hurts the most?” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “That I made her cry. I made her look at me like I was some kind of monster and maybe I am Maybe I really am “
I didn’t even realize I was crying until I felt it
The tears.
Sliding down my face while my chest ached like something inside me had cracked open.
“Alpha-” Richard said gently.
“I hate myself,” I cut him off. “I hate myself more than she hates me.’
“1
“Then do something about it,” he said softly. “Go after her. Apologize. Show her you’re sorry. It’s not too late. It might feel like it is… but it’s not. Not if you mean it.”
I looked at him.
Really looked at him.
“You think she’ll ever forgive me?”
He sighed. “I don’t know. But I do know this… she’s not just anyone to you. She’s not just some woman you want. She’s your fated mate. You love her. Anyone with eyes can see that.”
I closed my eyes, holding back another set of tears threatening to fall.
“Then go prove it,” Richard said. “Let her feel it. Let her see it.”
I didn’t move.
He turned to leave, then paused at the door.
“Alpha,” he said, glancing back at me. “You really do love her. But sometimes… your way of loving her is too possessive. You need to tone that down. Before it destroys what’s left between you.”
And then he left.
I sat there, feeling like the worst man on earth.
Because the truth was, I didn’t just hurt her.
I hated myself for what I’d just done.
I picked up my car keys and dashed out of my office without thinking twice.
My love. I’m so sorry.
KILLIAN’S POV
Just as I stepped out of my office, my phone started ringing. I almost ignored it. But then I saw the caller ID.
It was Mother.
“Mom?” I answered quickly.
“Killian… it’s your stepdad… he… he had a heart attack.”
I froze.
“What??!”
“He collapsed this morning. It was so sudden. The ambulance just left… Killian, I’m scared. Please come quick. Please…”
My heart started to pound.
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