“I needed closure, I needed to know why,” I replied, and this time it was my voice being increased, and I was the one sounding so angry.
“Knowing Ben so well, I am sure you wouldn’t get any form of closure from him. I know you won’t because he won’t give you any tangible reason, so why bother, or are you hoping you could rekindle some kind of prison romance with him?”
I can’t believe we were having our first fight over such a trivial matter. Alexander was right; Ben didn’t give me any form of closure. For one, he made me more on edge, and I couldn’t even let that out in the fear of how Alpha Alex would respond to it, considering that he didn’t even respond well to my visit.
“We all have our individual way of dealing with our pain, I confront mine and not fucking run away from it like you are trying to do now,”
He let out small laughter. It wasn’t pleasant laughter, “in all your confrontation, have you found peace or more reasons to be in pain? Edwina, not all wounds need revisiting, and that’s what you don’t get. And by the way, I forbid you from ever going to see Ben,” he said, dropping his table clothing angrily on the table.
“I am done eating,” he said and paused while he was wheeling away from the table’ and I will be working all night at the study. I don’t need disturbance,” he said as he strode away in anger.
I sighed and let out an exasperated gasp. In an attempt to avoid a conversation, I started one I wasn’t ready for. And who the fuck does he think he is to tell me who to see and not to?
Fuck him.
Alexander’s POV…
I hated the fact that we had just quarreled over something as irrelevant and baseless as this. When I came back from work and was informed she wasn’t back from her visit with Ben, I was agitated, but I also found out that she had gone to see her sister and became a bit relaxed. It wasn’t like I was particularly jealous of Ben, but I don’t know why she would still love him after all he had put her through. Was she being naive, or was she purposely blinding herself to the truth, which was glaring to anyone who would even bother to see it?
But she chose not to see it. She was still naive, weak, and blinded to the fact that Ben used her and never loved her. But what I truly wanted to know was why Ben married her.
I have had conversations with Ben, and he had never had any relationship with any humans, so when I heard he had secretly gotten married to a woman who didn’t have a wolf, I questioned his choice.
He had told me that the moon goddess had revealed her to him, but he lied, obviously. He had always kept her hidden, stating that she was an extremely private person, and that was why I never got to meet her while they were still married. Sonia had also failed to mention to me that Ben got married to the sister she had always gone to visit, and now that I think of it, I realize that I was indeed so foolish. I was doing the wrong thing by not investigating or doing my background check and trusting all they said till it was too late.
Well, here I am now, struggling with grief underneath it all and all the backlash that comes with it. Not to talk more of the fact that I am married to a woman who doesn’t love me, I don’t know if I did that as an act of desperation or vengeance. I can’t tell what informed my decision the most.
I knew when I asked Edwina to marry me, I didn’t like her one bit, well, not in a romantic way, so I can’t tell why I had asked her to marry me. Now here I was, developing an attachment with her, and she was still so much brooding over her cheating piece of thrash husband, and she didn’t even seem to even notice that I like her. I don’t want to use the word love because that would be a little bit much, and I wasn’t sure yet.
I heard a knock on the door, and my head tried to convince me that it was Edwina coming to apologize for us to make up. Why should she even apologize? We were having a conversation, and I blew it out of proportion due to my underlying anger and resentment towards her ex-husband.
But this knock was gentle and definitely not feminine.
“Come in,” I called out after the knock hit the door for the third time. I wanted to be alone here and just ponder on some of my heartaches, but now someone was already disturbing my quiet time.
The door slowly opened, and Caleb appeared.
Of course, it would be him. He was the only one that had that kind of access to me at this time of the night.
“Caleb, I can’t have a peaceful and quiet night without you interfering with it,” I said, and he chuckled.
“You want to have a peaceful and quiet night after arguing with your Luna,”
Damn!!!
Were we that loud? Oh shit!!!
I wasn’t taking into any consideration that the wall to the dining room wasn’t as thick as that of the bedroom, and guards and maids were standing right outside.
“Tell me we aren’t the talk of the realm yet,” I mumbled.
“Well, not the realm, just the night howlers territory. What happened?” He asked immediately with a smile.
“Shit, I don’t know, maybe I am just on edge with all that is happening. And now that the sizzlers are right on our neck again, I am trying to contain the situation so that people don’t get unnecessary stress and worry over it,” I explained. “I guess I took out some of my frustration on her. Because now that I think about it, whatever we were quarreling about was not so trivial and didn’t hold any substantial grounds.” I added.
“Hmmm,” he sighed. “I don’t know what to say to you for the first time,” he shrugged and sat down on the visitor’s leather cushion in the study, close to the bookshelves and a bit far from the desk where I sat.
“Really, for the first time since I have known you, there are no unsolicited words of wisdom coming from you,” I teased, and he laughed. Then I joined in the laughter, and soon I found myself laughing with him for over a minute in harmony, and all of a sudden, the air felt lighter and not so heavy and clouded.
“Ahhhmmm,” we both chorused when we were done laughing and exhaling out.
“I couldn’t sleep truly. I was bothered about all this and this new responsibility you had put on my shoulders. Being the Beta, I would have to be at the war front, making the hard call and decisions. I had always been okay being the middle line man,” he expressed out, and I could see the genuine fright in his eyes. It was understandable too. I was also frightened because I knew if it was based on this capacity of soldiers we have and the potential of more leaving us, we might most likely not win this war, and that was scary to me to face and admit to myself. No matter how I wanted to paint it.
“I understand your worry, I am also worried too, all this had come to my mind since I left that God damn meeting and I can’t lie it is scary.” I also confessed to him in sincerity.
“I know I am supposed to be the Alpha and meant to be strong all the time but why am I to pretend that I am not because honestly, I am scared shitless and so scared of the outcome,”
He shrugged and stood up, moved to the executive chair opposite me before he picked up a pencil and paper.
“But I can’t help but wonder, I don’t know if I am the only one that gets to see it as way odd,”
“What is that?” I asked and turned the table lamp a bit to face directly the window that oversaw the garden and a view of the pool. In that pool, Sonia liked to sit down. I used to love that window because it gave me a perfect view of her, and she would always go swimming in the sexiest swimming suit because she knew I was always watching.
“Why is it that, out of all things they could ask for as their settling bargain, they ask for Edwina? Don’t you see that as odd?”
I did feel it was way off. That was the last thing I had expected the sizzlers to ask for because there was no sort of logical backing as to why they would want Edwina. Their Alpha Bethel had more than four mates and countless concubines. So why would he throw such an opportunity to finally get the night howlers’ territory by settling for Edwina?
“I found it so strange, but I reasoned maybe he just knew I wouldn’t settle for that because I just got married so he asked something that he knew was impossible to give,” I tried to explain, but something in me wasn’t satisfied by the sort of reasoning to it.
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