Maybe I would have decided to keep the baby. Maybe I wouldn’t even be at the academy.
Closing my eyes, I threw the test as far as I could, watching it disappear almost instantly into the darkness. The wind had picked up, colder and stronger now.
“I guess there’ll be a storm tonight,” I whispered to myself, my words carried away by the biting wind, which also swept the tears from my eyes. It was weird how I could roam around much more safely in the wild than I could among pack members. Flashes of that night still haunt me. Especially the face of those alphas and then there was Altan.
I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes to let the tears fall freely for a while before I went back to my dorm room. It was frustrating that I had to look for an excuse to cry in the dorm room. Sometimes I just wanted to curl up in the corner of the room and sob for no reason.
I began my slow journey back to the hostel. By the time I reached the road, I felt the sudden and overwhelming urge to throw up.
“Ugh! What do you want?” I yelled at my belly in frustration. I couldn’t bring myself to think of this baby as mine. It didn’t feel like it belonged to me-it belonged to one of those alphas, not me.
So why was this baby growing inside me?
“AHHHHHH!” I screamed into the night, knowing no one would hear me out here. Then I resumed walking, slower this time, consumed by anger and frustration.
I didn’t want food, or anything at all. All I wanted was a single day free from thinking about how my life had been forever tied to that one night.
I was so angry.
So frustrated.
“Hey!”
When I neared the hostel, someone called out to me. Lifting my head, I saw Kaye standing by the main gate, almost as if he had been waiting for me. Seeing him so early in the morning was a shock. I did not expect him to come see me after weeks had passed since our last meetup.
“Trainer Kaye!” I greeted him with a little bow and instantly noticed the disapproving look on his face.
“Just Kaye!” he corrected me, causing a shiver to run up my spine. The way his eyes were fixated at me gave me a feeling of weirdness.
“Where were you?” he asked, striding toward me with quick, long steps. The long black overcoat he wore made him look even taller.
“I went out for a walk,” I replied, trying to sidestep him and keep walking.
“Can I have a minute with you?” he asked, stepping in my way and stopping me in my tracks. That came out of nowhere so I was not sure how to respond to him.
Helanie:
“What are you thinking about? Don’t worry, I’m not going to abduct you away from your friends,” he said with an awkward smile.
The word abduction hit too close to home, and my body visibly shuddered before I quickly nodded to mask my discomfort.
“What is this about?” I asked, my voice steadier than I felt. He narrowed his eyes slightly, studying me, almost as if he were judging my reaction.
“Follow me,” he said softly. He didn’t move, though, waiting for a response from me.
I hesitated, my thoughts swirling with uncertainty. Should I follow him? A part of me wanted to refuse, but my heart whispered that I should hear him out.
“Oh… okay,” I replied, giving in without much resistance this time. He had done so much for me that I felt comfortable following him.
He began walking ahead of me, and I stole a quick glance at the hostel to make sure no one was watching us walk away together.
That’s when I almost tripped from not paying attention to the road. I stumbled straight into Kaye’s back, grabbing onto his coat to stop myself from falling. His strong and mesmerizing cologne hit my nostrils like a truck full of bricks. It was so sudden and out of the blue, but his scent had a sense of calmness to it.
He turned swiftly, his hands reaching out to steady me, but I had already pulled my hands away.
“Did you ask anyone at the hostel about me? Kaye! What if they find it weird that-” I started, my words rushed and anxious. I didn’t want any more complications, so I was trying to be cautious. But somehow, my concern soured his mood.
“Forget the hostel, and screw what they think. If they bother you about this, let me know. I’ll show them what privilege can do,” he snapped, his tone harsh as his jaw clenched tightly.
That’s when I realized something was wrong. Why had he come out of nowhere to talk to me? What could be so important that he couldn’t wait for me to be at the academy?
“I’m not angry with you, I would never use a harsh tone with you,” he quickly added when my silence lingered too long. A forced smile crossed his face as he tried to soften his tone.
“What do you want to talk about?” I asked again, taking a step back.
“It’s… uh… just come with me,” he said, avoiding a proper explanation. Without waiting for my response, he began walking toward his car.
I followed him quietly. When we reached the car, he opened the back door for me, and I slipped in without a word. He got into the driver’s seat and started the engine.
“I’m guessing you skipped breakfast,” he said after a moment, adjusting the rearview mirror to glance at my expression.
“I wasn’t really hungry,” I replied honestly. I hadn’t had much of an appetite since finding out about the pregnancy.
“You need to take care of yourself. And if you can’t-then I will. And I’m not taking no for an answer,” he said firmly, his tone leaving no room for debate.
The sudden shift in his mood caught me off guard. His open concern and determination to care for me were… unexpected. Even his words were more open to show emotions and feelings.
“You’ve already done enough, Kaye,” I said, my voice softer now. I hadn’t forgotten all the ways he had helped me.
“That was nothing. You have no idea how I could turn your life into a fairytale,” he said playfully, though something about it felt odd.
The Kaye I knew was kind, yes, but he rarely showed any emotions. He usually kept a calm, almost distant demeanor. But today, he seemed cheerful-almost overly so.
It felt strange, and I wasn’t sure how to respond.
“What’s going on? And where are we going?” I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.
“We have this… um, project,” Kaye started. “There’s an abandoned pack we’re preparing for commercial use by rogues. We’re planning to develop malls, playgrounds, parks, and even caf?s. In fact, one rogue has already signed up to start a caf? there. I think it’ll be a good way to offer rogue membership and keep them safe from wild rogues. Anyone working on the land will be given privileges and protection under the law.”
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