Julia sighed and looked uncomfortable. “What I mean is…well, here’s the thing. Nico is an alpha. You understand?”
“Right. I knew that already. What does that have to do with anything?”
Julia twisted her fingers together, obviously flustered. “He’s the alpha of the Lorenzo pack. He took over for Carlos several years ago. He’s done fantastic job leading us, and I don’t??”
“Julia,” I interrupted, rubbing at my temples and becoming more irritated by the second. “Can we get to the point here?”
“Well, as the alpha, he’ll need to settle down and have children at some point. He needs an heir. Someone who can take over as alpha the way he took over for his father. I really don’t mean to sound like a bigot here, but the future alpha can’t?be a half-breed.”
The words slammed into me. It was like I’d been slapped. My teeth tore into the side of my cheek so hard, I tasted blood. It was all I could do to keep my face composed and not lean forward and scream in this woman’s face. The dark part of my mind wanted to ask her what she’d think if I was a werewolf-the full embodiment of Edemas. Would she think I wasn’t good enough for her precious boy then? Was that what I needed to be to be accepted?
How dare she? Who the fuck did she thing she was? I opened my mouth to tell her exactly what I thought of her. Instead, I said, “Thanks, Mrs. Lorenzo. I’ll take that into consideration. I appreciate that you feel comfortable enough to approach me with your concerns.”
Julia smiled and patted my knee again. “I’m sure you all enjoy each other. A young fling is fine. You just have to know that nothing more can come of it. Come back up and rejoin the party when you want, sweetie.”
Without another word, Julia stood and headed back up the stairs. I watched her go, and as she disappeared at the top of the landing, my vision went red and my hands clenched into fists. Leaping to my feet, I could actually feel my wolf wanting to jump out of my skin. It was the closest I’d ever been to her. I was vibrating with rage, and tears were leaking out of my eyes. They weren’t tears of sadness or shame, but tears of anger and outrage.
I wasn’t sure how long I stood like that. Time seemed to slow down. It could have been five minutes or five hours. I heard more footsteps coming down the stairs. I turned to look. If it had been Julia again, I really thought I might have jumped onto her and torn her hair out. I wasn’t myself at all. Thankfully, it was Nico.
“Maddy? Are you down here? Oh, there you…Jesus Christ! Maddy? Holy shit, what happened?”
He ran to me and took my fists into his hands. I finally glanced down and saw bright red blood dripping from my shaking hands. Blood had oozed out on both hands and made bright red lines between each finger and dripped onto the hardwood floor. Nico gently pried my fingers open, and we both saw what had happened. I’d clenched my fists so tight, my nails had torn holes into my palms. There were four crescent-shaped wounds on both palms.
“What the fuck, babe?” Nico asked, breathless. “What the hell?”
“Nothing,” I muttered. “Nothing happened.”
Nico pulled me toward the bathroom and turned the sink on. He took a towel, wet it, then dabbed it on my hands. “That’s bullshit. You wouldn’t do this if something hadn’t happened. Maddy, I’ve been worried about you. Ever since we talked to Kenneth, you haven’t been the same. Please. Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”
I stared down at my bloody palms and shook my head, not trusting myself to talk. The wolf was receding, leaving me alone with my anger and fear. Nico put a hand under my chin and lifted my face to his. “Tell me. If you can’t be honest with me, then who can you be honest with? You’re my mate, and I will always put you first.”
My lower lip trembled, and this time the tears were from sadness. The words started to pour out of me. I spilled my guts. I told him about the dark thoughts I’d been having, about secretly wanting to take the blood, and how I thought it made me evil. I told him about how sad I was about what happened with my parents. Then I told him what his mother had said and how it set me off, and that I didn’t think I’d ever truly belong in his family. When I finally looked back up into his face, he looked pissed-angrier than I’d ever seen him other than when Javi had tried to kill me again.
“It’s okay. Those thoughts are normal, Maddy. Everyone would want revenge. That doesn’t make you a bad person or a monster. What you’re going through is rough. There’s no other way to put it. I would be surprised if you didn’t have some dark moments. That’s normal for anyone in your position.” He put a hand on my chest and then his own. “You and me? We are a team. Please don’t hide stuff from me. The longer you keep it bottled up, the worse you’ll feel. I’m here for the good times and the bad, the tears and the laughter, the fear and the happiness. Whatever it is, always know you can come to me.”
Those words took a load off me. My entire being felt lighter. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he really did mean it. I’d never been with anyone who cared for me so much. I felt stupid for not opening up sooner, but now I realized that I really could.
Nico kissed me. I could taste my tears as he pressed his mouth to mine. When he pulled away, he looked into my eyes. “We’ll make it through this.”
I was suddenly exhausted, like I’d run a marathon with a weighted vest on. Even my eyelids started drooping. “I need a nap or something,” I mumbled.
“You do look tired. Here, come this way.”
He led me across the game room to a door at the back. Inside was a small guest room with a twin bed. It looked like the most comfortable thing I’d ever seen. Nico pointed to it. “You can nap here if you want. I thought you might not want to go upstairs with everyone still around.”
I nodded. This did seem to be the better option. I didn’t think I could face his mother again, at least not right now. The little room would be the perfect place to rest. “Thanks. It’s great,” I said, already kicking off my shoes.
Nico helped me get under the covers and tucked me in before kissing me on the forehead. He sat on the floor beside the bed, holding my hand. “I’ll stay with you until you’re asleep.”
I nodded and yawned. I closed my eyes and let my exhaustion sweep over me. In moments, I could feel sleep taking me. I drifted down into unconsciousness.
I dreamed then. About the full moon.
NICO
I clenched my jaw so hard as I went back upstairs that I was afraid my teeth might crack. I’d never been so pissed off in my life. I stomped through the kitchen and out into the backyard. There were still about twenty people here, drinking, eating, laughing. I had no patience for any of that at the moment.
“Okay!” I shouted, getting everyone’s attention. “Out. Everybody out.”
The crowd silenced, my brothers all looked confused. No one moved, which only made me angrier. “I said out!” My voice boomed out like a grenade. “Everyone but Mom and Dad. Get the fuck out.”
The crowd started moving, everyone quickly putting their glasses and plates down and heading toward the door. Dad was with Mom, whispering questions to her. I was happy to see that Mom looked abashed. She knew what I was mad about and looked worried.
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