“Come on, guys, let’s go,” she cheered excitedly, walking in between us with her arms draped around our necks.
I could hardly think of anything other than her sweet scent that filled my senses, making my body react in excitement.
We were almost at the door that would lead us to the field when a voice stopped us.
Turning sharply, my eyes met Jasper’s sad ones, and they locked on me.
Was everything alright with the pack?
Was there an attack happening?
Several questions flooded my mind as our gazes stayed fixed on each other for a few seconds.
“Is everything alright, Jasper?” I asked, noticing the unease in his eyes. “Dax and I are going for a race, and Ivy will be the judge. Would you like to join us?” I offered, but he clenched his jaw as if holding back tears.
“Alpha,” he started. “They are not real.” He swallowed, watching me process his words while my hands rested on Ivy’s slim waist.
“What do you mean by ‘they are not real’?” My brows furrowed in confusion. “Alpha?” His hands grabbed mine, pulling it away from Ivy’s waist.
“There is no Ivy, Devin, and Dax.” He broke down, causing me to be consumed by confusion.
My brows furrowed even more as I stared at him in disbelief. “What do you mean? They’re here with me.”
I turned to look at Ivy and Dax. “I think Jasper is going crazy again.” I let out a brief laugh, which was followed by Dax.
“He should see the pack doctor,” Dax said, laughing.
“No, Alpha. You’re the one who’s crazy here. Snap out of your imagination. There is no Dax, Ivy, or Devin. They’re not here anymore. They’re dead.” He finally finished.
The news broke, sending cold chills down my spine. It felt like a bag of ice had been thrown on me as the realization hit. I turned my head to look at Dax and Ivy, but I was met with nothing. They had vanished, just as suddenly as they had appeared.
They were not real. It was just my imagination playing tricks on me.
I was going crazy again.
Tears welled up in my eyes as they hit the floor. I couldn’t bring myself to look into Jasper’s eyes. Was I even fit to rule the pack?
I knew my secret was safe with Jasper, but how long could the pack be ruled by a madman?
“You’ve been skipping your medications and therapy sessions again?” Jasper’s voice broke through, his gaze heavy on me. But I turned my eyes elsewhere.
I didn’t like the way he looked at me. His eyes spoke of pity.
I didn’t want his pity.
“You know you have to be mentally stable in order to rule the pack.”
“I don’t care anymore!” I flared, punching the wall hard, feeling the sand-like grains fall onto my knuckles.
“I don’t think I can do this anymore.” With those words, I walked away from him, ignoring his calls as I made my way to my room, locking the door behind me.
Tears flooded my eyes as I stared at the large amount of wolfsbane I had saved in a jar. Maybe I should end it all.
Damon
My hands trembled as I pulled out a syringe filled with wolfsbane, preparing to inject myself with it. I made sure it was above my usual dosage.
A quick death would do.
I shut my eyes as the needle pressed into my skin, almost piercing my veins, when the syringe slipped from my hand and clattered to the floor.
I wasn’t afraid of death. In fact, I couldn’t wait to reunite with my brothers and my mate, but I was afraid of breaking Jasper’s heart.
After the ugly incident, he had been there for me, helping me battle my demons and making me a better person. He was the only one who didn’t see me as a madman, even though he knew I was one.
He was more than my best friend, more than my Beta. He was my brother.
Killing myself would only shatter his heart into pieces.
“A worthless madman like you doesn’t deserve to live. Pick it up!” a voice commanded, growling menacingly, as a strange breeze rolled the syringe to rest against my foot.
I recognized that voice. The voice of my demons.
“You are not a madman, Damon. I know that,” Ivy’s voice suddenly filled the room.
I turned my head to see her walking elegantly toward me.
“Don’t give in to your demons,” she instructed, her voice soft but authoritative. The effect rang in my head, erasing the suicidal thoughts that had consumed me.
As if under her spell, I picked up the syringe and the jar of wolfsbane, discarding them in my closet before turning to face her.
I missed her terribly and couldn’t help but long for her presence every day.
Sadness filled my heart in her absence.
“Ivy is not real,” Jasper’s voice flooded my mind again, stabbing at my already wounded heart.
She disappeared just as she had come.
A tear escaped my eye as I slumped down onto the couch.
Ivy is fucking real!
She visits me every time, making sure I am okay. We talk as if she’s right here with me. A ghost couldn’t do that, right?
Or was I losing my mind?
“Have you been skipping your medications and therapy sessions again?” Jasper’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.
I groaned. I was tired of living on drugs and therapy. All I wanted was a break.
I didn’t need medication or therapy to feel better.
I was the Alpha King.
“A madman isn’t fit to be the Alpha King,” a cracked voice echoed in my mind, followed by mocking laughter.
I clenched my fists. I wouldn’t give in to my demons.
I wasn’t mad.
Ivy was my witness. Jasper was my witness.
“They’re lying to you. You can’t even tell the difference between reality and imagination.” Another burst of laughter rang in my head, sending sharp pain through my skull.
Maybe it was right.
Denying the truth was useless.
If I wasn’t mad, then why did demons live rent-free in my head, taunting me?
Why was I interacting with ghosts?
“Alpha?”
A soft voice called to me, snapping me out of my spiraling thoughts. I jerked upright, my back pressing against the couch.
I lifted my gaze to see Rosa leaning against the doorframe, clad in sheer red lingerie that clung to her pale skin.
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