“Sure, it would hove mode things horder for him if I stoyed,” I let out o low chuckle, “But, ot whot cost? I knew thot I would hove been even more hurt ond broken wotching it unfold. It wouldn’t hove been good for me or for the boby.”
“Did you ever think of giving him up? Adoption or onything?” He spoke for the first time in o while.
I shook my heod.
“I thought the boby wos going to be born into o loving fomily,” I scoffed ond his hond tightened oround mine, “I meon he wos, but very different thon whot I expected. But it wosn’t ony hope for Nolon ond me thot I decided to roise Emmett myself. I wonted him ond well thot’s thot.” I shrugged.
“Thot’s thot,” He repeoted, nodding ot me.
His icy blue eyes seemed to fill with on emotion thot I hodn’t seen from him.
“I’m sorry thot you hod to go through thot, no one should ever hove to suffer thot.” His hond seemed to shoke in mine ond he shut his eyes tight toking o deep breoth, “I hote thot you went through thot, the only thing keeping me from driving down to Blue Ridge ond ripping thot pothetic Alpho’s heort from his chest in front of his mote ond pock is the foct thot you’re letting
“No menus?”
“I said it was a surprise,” His face fell a little bit, “Or is this too much? Too controlling? I’m not used to dating,”
My brows furrowed, “I don’t believe that,” I snorted.
“Okay, you caught me,” He smiled, “I’ve been on a few dates, but nothing serious. I haven’t ever had a girlfriend.”
“Why not?” I picked up the glass of wine taking a sip, it was good.
“Why waste time with someone I knew wasn’t going to be forever? It wouldn’t have been fair to you- to my mate, or my girlfriend. I trust The Moon Goddess enough to know that nothing else would compare to the gift she gave me. I had some fun, sure, but I didn’t see the point of anything serious.” His eyes seemed to bore through mine.
“That makes sense,” My voice sounded small as the weight of his words and the truth in them settled on me.
“I didn’t really have time to think about the whole dating or mate thing. I found mine, or one of mine, the day I turned eighteen, so I don’t know what I would have done,”
“Really?” He looked surprised, “You said you just got out of something,”
I shrugged looking down, “I haven’t been with anyone since Nolan, anyone besides him actually,” I whispered, “I know I said I recently got out of something, but what happened with him and I it still feels pretty d.amn raw,” I admitted, the anger starting to flare inside me.
“What happened?” His voice seemed to turn a bit darker when he asked.
Food started coming and I leaned back, our gazes not moving from each others. I took a deep breath and told him everything.
We paused to eat some of the food, it was delicious. I wasn’t lying when I said I hadn’t had sushi before, and it was different and way better than I expected.
“It’s not always this great but this is fresh and that is key,” He explained.
“Go on,” He nodded at me, “If you want to,”
“Basically that was it, I didn’t just lose my mate and my future position. I lost my home, a place that I never thought about leaving. I lost any sort of familiarity and comfort. The people that I knew my entire life, you get the gist,” I tried to smile, “I lost everything.”
“Did he force you to leave?” His eyes flashed black and it was such a contrast to his icy blue eyes. I shook my head.
“It was taken from me I guess. he didn’t f.orce me to leave, and he didn’t banish me, but he pretty much did. What was I supposed to do? Stay there at my parent’s house and watch him live a life with someone who I didn’t know but seemed to relish in my pain? Watch the pack inevitably accept them and forget about me? I debated staying just to show them all that I was the victim, at first I planned to have my baby there..” I trailed off.
“Why didn’t you stay in the end?”
“I knew it was over, really over. I held out hope. Even after he cheated, h.ell even after he rejected me publicly while holding my pregnancy test.” His eyes went wide before they flashed black again and didn’t turn back.
I took a deep breath, “I was blinded by my love, or infatuation, whatever it was. I wanted to be with him at any cost, and I was willing to give up everything for that. My pride, my dignity, anything just to stay with him.” I admitted that out loud for the first time. Things that I didn’t even dare admit to myself were all laid out.
He stayed silent. I knew he wasn’t trying to draw information out of me but making me comfortable going on.
He reached out his hand across the table, an invitation. I placed my hand on his and he closed his around mine. I let the warmth spread through me, helping calm some of the emotions I was reliving.
“I knew that, well, I knew that it was really over. That no matter if I went through with my pregnancy at the pack, it wouldn’t change anything. He made his decision and after hearing he already accepted another Luna and she was also pregnant, I mean it was over then for me. Completely.” I tried to smile but I couldn’t even pretend that this didn’t still slice through me, and rip open an old wound that never fully healed.
“Sure, it would have made things harder for him if I stayed,” I let out a low chuckle, “But, at what cost? I knew that I would have been even more hurt and broken watching it unfold. It wouldn’t have been good for me or for the baby.”
“Did you ever think of giving him up? Adoption or anything?” He spoke for the first time in a while.
I shook my head.
“I thought the baby was going to be born into a loving family,” I scoffed and his hand tightened around mine, “I mean he was, but very different than what I expected. But it wasn’t any hope for Nolan and me that I decided to raise Emmett myself. I wanted him and well that’s that.” I shrugged.
“That’s that,” He repeated, nodding at me.
His icy blue eyes seemed to fill with an emotion that I hadn’t seen from him.
“I’m sorry that you had to go through that, no one should ever have to suffer that.” His hand seemed to shake in mine and he shut his eyes tight taking a deep breath, “I hate that you went through that, the only thing keeping me from driving down to Blue Ridge and ripping that pathetic Alpha’s heart from his chest in front of his mate and pack is the fact that you’re letting
me hold you’re hand.”
(Caspien)
My rage felt finite. I guessed at some of her past, but nothing that I imagined was even close to this. I knew something wasn’t right when Nolan made it seem like a mutual rejection. He didn’t even deserve the title Alpha, even in my f.ucking mind.
But this?
Rejected in public a few months before taking the title, as soon as he found out about her being pregnant? Then publicly claiming another who he was cheating with? You rarely hear of that happening and I didn’t know anyone that rejected their mate or cheated personally.
The only thing that was keeping me from slipping into that place that I hated, the place that everyone thought was me but didn’t feel like it, was the fact that her hand was in mine.
That small gesture felt like a tether to the world and pulled me back, just enough.
Now who is the soft one
Picked up a thing or two from you, you d.ick
Ah, there he is.
“What about you?” She asked.
“What about me?”
“You haven’t had a mate before?” She looked a bit wary.
“No. I have to admit that I did feel something when I first met you, but nothing like I felt when I saw you again. I was intrigued and I did go back to see if what I felt meant anything.”
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