“Because it’s me!” I yelled out exasperated. “Out of everyone it ended up being me. I’m so sorry. What the hell is wrong with this fated mate crap?”
“What’s wrong with you?”
I snapped my head over at him and clenched my jaw. “Everything Denny!”
“Clover, there is nothing wrong with you. You are amazing. And I don’t want to hurt you. If it wasn’t for Andrea-“
I smiled and shook my head. He was being sweet but even without Andrea, it wouldn’t have worked. “The pack would have never accepted me as their luna. You and I both know this. They would have been divided. We both know what must happen. It is for the best.”
He wrapped his arm around me pulling my body closer to his. And I let him. I needed to feel the sparks and comfort of the mate pull right now. We both did.
“There really isn’t anything wrong with you. You were supposed to be a gift to me. Not a punishment, I am certain of it.”
I nodded my head into his chest, unable to speak. My wolf was howling in pain knowing what was about to happen.
“I, Clover Basket (this is the last name they gave me since I was found in a basket) delta of the Sulfur pack reject you alpha Dennis Hart as my mate.” I squeezed my fingers into his shirt as my chest was torn apart. A small whimper escaped from my mouth as he continued to hold me and rub my arm.
“I, Dennis Hart, alpha of the Sulfur pack accepts your rejection and also rejects you delta Clover Basket as my mate and future luna.”
We both just stayed there holding each other. The pain was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It felt like a piece of my heart was torn away at that moment. As if I had lost something incredibly precious that I could never get back. And it hurt. It was hard to breathe. I felt something wet hit my cheek and I realized he was crying too. Neither one of us wanted to hurt the other. But there was no other way. He had Andrea and the pack. I was just some mistake they rescued in the woods. I should have been left out there to die. It would have been less cruel than this moment right here.
This was a private moment between the two of us. Where we both mutually agreed and rejected one another. There were no ill feelings. There was no hate. It was two people realizing that their lives together just didn’t work. I knew how he felt about Andrea, and I wouldn’t come between that. But above that, I knew how much he loved his pack. That was the one that tipped the scale. I knew I couldn’t be a luna to his pack. And with this rejection went my chance at happiness. I would never have a fated mate. I had depended on having one and this was a bitter pill to swallow. Finding your fated mate was already hard. Finding a second chance mate was rare. The Alpha King was one of the few that was known to get a second chance mate. But that wasn’t the norm.
I felt his lips brush over my head as his body trembled slightly. “I’m sorry Clover.”
“You should be sorry. You let my chocolate chip pancakes get cold.” I sniffled trying to cheer him up. So, what if my soul was crushed and I would never have a real family? This was still his birthday dammit. And he was taking over as the alpha. I needed to put my brave face on. And later tonight I can drown my sorrows in the privacy of my lonely room.
“Clover, I-“
I pulled away from him and gave him a forced smile. I wanted him to think I was okay. I wasn’t. But I wanted him to think it. “No one has to know. Nothing changes.” It was weird how I still felt drawn to him. And I could see there was longing in his eyes too. I guess the severed connection couldn’t destroy completely what was supposed to be together.
“I’ll always take care of you.”
I smiled at him as a bit of me died on the inside. Denny… no girl wants to hear something like that. It’s like two people breaking up and saying we will always be friends.
“Denny, you don’t have to take care of me. I can take care of myself. We shouldn’t feel like we owe each other anything. Let’s just keep things between us the same.”
“Thank you, Clover.”
I wiped my face and patted my cheeks before standing up. “Let’s go see if those pancakes are still any good. And even if they aren’t good, you better choke them down. I got up extra early just to make them for you.” He smiled. A real smile. He stood up and patted me on the head. This was how it had to be. It was hard since it just happened, but it would get easier with time. And everything would go back to normal between us. I bumped into his side with my shoulder as we walked back through the woods.
“Should we say something about this?”
I shook my head. “No, I think it is best that no one knows. This way there are no weird feelings about everything. And if Andrea knew she would probably feel awkward with me being in the packhouse.” I watched that click with Denny immediately. The truth of it is that I don’t want anyone to look at me with those sympathetic eyes. They would all whisper behind my back and talk about the orphan trash that was rejected by the alpha. No, it was better it stayed between the two of us.
We walked back to the packhouse slowly. We were trying to talk to each other to make everything feel normal again. It wasn’t. I could still feel the sting of rejection in my chest. Unlike Denny, I didn’t have anyone else waiting for me. And now my only hope of ever having someone just disappeared. I lost a lot today. I knew I was hurting deeply over that fact, but I was trying not to show it. My dream of having a family… How could I have that now? No one in my own pack wanted me. And without the mate pull, what man wanted to be the female delta’s mate? Most males needed to be of a higher rank than their females because their egos couldn’t handle it. And then there was the problem of how I would even meet someone.
I am an officer of the Sulfur pack. There isn’t a lot of free time to be had. Maybe I could meet someone at a party or pack banquet. Yet, I know it would be nothing more than a fling, just like the one-night stand I had before with a guy named Conrad. It would never end up something serious, though. No man would leave their pack to come to mine. It was a tradition for females to leave their pack to go to their new mate’s pack. This was only tradition because the male was usually higher in rank. So, I would have to find a gamma, beta, or another alpha who would want me. And since second chance mates probably didn’t exist, they would be giving up their chance of finding their fated mate. See what I mean? I lost my chance at having my own family.
We walked into the dining room and saw Joey and Jude scarfing the last scraps of pancakes.
“Where were you two at?” Joey said with a mouth full of food.
“Are those my pancakes you are eating?” Denny growled lowly as he narrowed his eyes on the two men.
“We didn’t know whose they were. We just saw a stack of pancakes on the table and divided them up.” Jude shrugged as he looked up. “They would have been cold and mushy by now anyways.”
I could feel Denny getting angry. It was odd of him to get this upset over something like this. But, yet again, we both had been through a lot this morning. And it was only morning.
“I can make you some more. Besides, they will be much better fresh.” I smiled at him and took a step in the direction of the kitchen when I felt his hand land on my waist, gripping into me. I looked at him, surprised, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see Joey and Jude were also taken back by this.
“I don’t want you to have to make them again. You shouldn’t be cooking in the kitchen.”
What was this ridiculousness he was spouting out? I giggled and turned around to face him. “It’s not like you are commanding me to make them. I’m not a slave here. I am doing this only because it is your birthday. So don’t be expecting anything like this again.” The look in his eyes was making me nervous. Why was he looking at me with those possessive eyes? We rejected each other. It was time to act normal again. And yet I felt like I was being burned under his gaze.
“Happy birthday!” Andrea’s voice chimed out as she walked into the dining room with her entourage. Most of the other girls didn’t bother me. I mean, they just ignored me like everyone else. The only one I despised was Taylor. I am not going to mince words. She is a bit.ch. When I became the delta, she calmed down significantly. But now, she was dating Jude with her fake nails and posh outfits. It was like evil barbie came to life. And every once in a while, her inner evil demon would come out. Of course, she would joke it off in her da.mn passive-aggressive tendencies. But I knew better. How I would looooove to spar with her one on one.
I looked at Denny, who seemed a bit startled. He also seemed uncertain of what he should be doing. His eyes flickered back on me before he made his way over to Andrea.
“What are you doing here?”
“I figured it would be okay if a group of your friends stopped over to wish you happy birthday.”
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