Chapter 50 – The Lycan King’s Treasured Luna

How was I supposed to rule beside him, this king who wielded power with grace? How could I ever match that?

I closed my eyes.

Was I capable of love… without restraint?

Of trusting without the shadow of betrayal looming at the edges? Of choosing us without constantly doubting myself?

No matter how long I sat with the question, my heart returned to the same place.

A place where guilt whispered that he deserved better. Better than someone who only knew how to survive, than someone who confused anger for strength, and silence for safety, and better than someone who flinched at kindness and questioned affection.

He had so much light. And I had so much darkness.

I was terrified I’d drown him in it.

I let my forehead rest against the cool glass, exhaling slowly.

What crime had he committed for Aeryna to make me his mate?

What had he done to be punished with the burden of me?

Me, who had been touched by hands that broke rather than held, and forgotten how to believe in forever.

What did I have to offer him that wasn’t already stained?

My eyes burned with tears I didn’t allow to fall. I didn’t deserve to cry. Not for this. Not when I’d been the one to destroy what fragile thing had bloomed between us.

But even as the guilt churned, so did Hope.

Could I start over? With him?

Was it even possible to rebuild something I hadn’t even let take root properly? Had I taken something beautiful and shattered it in my palm, just because I didn’t know how to hold it?

My chest ached with the weight of those questions, but I didn’t look away from the sun.

And for the first time… I wanted to believe there was an answer.

I didn’t know how, or when it had happened, but the thought of walking away from him terrified me. I tried to picture life without Sargis. And yet, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t envision it.

I couldn’t imagine going back to the person I used to be before he came crashing into my world. Somehow, unknowingly, irrevocably… I’d tied my peace to him.

The third day rolled in.

And still, he didn’t show.

That silence, so thick and relentless, brought with it a storm of memories.

They came in waves, one after another, dragging me under.

Sargis had never needed to prove himself with grand declarations. His actions had always spoken louder than words ever could. He turned this room into a sanctuary for me, and I hadn’t realized it until now.

He made it a safe space.

A place where I could breathe, and where I didn’t have to be on guard. He’d provided comfort when I didn’t even know I needed it. He fulfilled every want I hadn’t dared to voice aloud. He had been patient to a fault, he had been there to be my anchor when I got lost in the storm, he had held me with tenderness and cherished me in actions, he had shown me time and time again that he was different, and his actions had been full of sincerity, he had looked past my flaws and accepted me without hesitation.

Sargis had never once flinched at my broken edges. He saw every crack and didn’t try to plaster over them.

He had transformed me from the filthy, grime-covered girl drowning in trauma, into a healthier woman. My body had healed under his care… but I now realized, my heart had started healing too.

And what had I done?

I pushed him away.

Stupidly, blindly, and cruelly.

I let my fear of abandonment scream louder than his consistency. I took the goodness he offered and twisted it into suspicion.

I questioned the sincerity in his every look, and I dismissed his kindness as manipulation.

God, I remembered when he saved me on that balcony… My throat tightened.

Time and time again… He had saved me from myself.

And every time, I responded with sharp words and sharper walls.

The fourth day crept in like a ghost, and the silence of this room had become unbearable.

It felt haunted by memories.

I missed him more than I could admit to anyone, maybe even to myself.

I missed the steady rhythm of his breath when he sat beside me, pretending not to watch me too closely.

I missed his voice. The low hum of it and the way it never failed to mesmerize me.

I missed his toothy grin, the one that cracked across his face when I said something sarcastic.

I missed the way his eyes wrinkled at the corners when he smiled.

I missed how his dark curls fell over his forehead in disarray, and how I’d secretly wanted to brush them back.

And … I missed the way he looked at me like I was the only thing that mattered.

I missed our moments. The silly ones. The quiet ones. The ones where I let myself forget I was broken.

I missed watching anime beside him.

I missed how he brought light into the corners of my soul I’d locked away.

I missed him.

So much that I’d started sleeping on the couch, draped in one of his shirts.

I hadn’t seen Hasmik in days either.

And I missed her.

I missed her quiet strength and the way she always knew how to sit in silence with me without making it feel suffocating. The way she offered her presence like a balm, and never asked for more than I could give. She had been my one true connection here, aside from Sargis, and even she had stayed away.

Had I pushed her away too?

Had I made it impossible for anyone to stay?

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