Of course I want to be your Mommy. I would have been the happiest person in the world, as would this baby, to have you in our lives…
Then why don’t you fight for what you want, Azura?
I freeze, staring at the floor in front of me, suddenly feeling cold at my own question. Why don’t I fight?
Because it just hurts too much…
Maybe I’m not as strong as I always thought I was. Since when do I cry over something?
Fight for what you want.
I run my hand through my hair, my mind a whirlwind of thoughts. Leo is giving me whiplash… but… when I stormed off last night, he came after me. Maybe he just needs some time. It is like at the same time he is telling me that he wants me, he then pushes me away. Why?
Maybe there is more to it, but it is hard for me to think past my anger…
Look harder… Not everything is as it appears…
Dante’s words return to me, and I know that whatever he says always means something. Look harder…
Am I missing something? Is there a reason for Leo’s hot and cold attitude? Goddess! What should I do?
“Corrado!” Leo’s voice comes, and I hear the front door slam shut. I stand up, rushing to the window, only to see Corrado running down the lawn as fast as he can, and I frown, my heart breaking for his little soul. Even when Leo picks him up with his little fists pummelling his shoulder, I am still unable to let it slide.
Fuck this, for Corrado and this little one. I suddenly feel as if I have been hit with clarity. I know what I need to do… even if it isn’t going to be the easiest. I run from the room and out into the front garden.
“Corrado!” I shout, running over to them. He turns, looking at me with his tear-stained face.
“Azura…” I hold my arms out to him, ignoring the spark that rushes through me when my arm brushes Leo as he holds his arms out to me.
“It’s okay, kiddo… you can keep me… I will be your Mama if you want me to because I really do want to be your Mama, too,” I whisper, hugging him tightly. I hear Leo’s heart race and sense his intense gaze upon me, but I ignore him as Corrado hugs me tightly, his tears soaking my shoulder.
“Promise, Azura?”
“I promise.”
I promise on everything I have. I don’t care what Leo thinks or what I feel…
I don’t know how, but if it means making a child happy, a child who I am lucky enough to want me to be their mama, then I will sacrifice my own ego for him… because no child should feel unwanted, especially by those they love.
The Beginning of a Haze
Leo
Istand there, looking down at her as she claims my son as her own. A thousand emotions course through me. She didn’t accept him for me, but because she wanted to. Fuck, why is this so fucking intense?
“I really do want to be your Mama, too…”
Her words shake me. No, she didn’t come running out of that house for me, but for him. Her eyes do not once find me as she wipes those tears from Corrado’s face. She is still young, wild and temperamental, but she has a heart of fucking gold, and he is lucky to have her…
She hugs him tightly, and, at that moment, I selfishly wish I could enjoy the fucking time I have left… but I don’t want her to get attached to me unless I can fucking make it. Then again, I think she already has… there is no denying what we feel for one another. I really need to find a solution… a solution to living…
I step away from them, feeling another wave of heat rush through me. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong, but I need to get checked out…
I cast one last look at the duo. This right here is my fuckingworld. All three of them…
Live for them… But I am not a god, and I don’t have the power to restore life.
Jackie, I don’t really feel great. Mind if you can do a check over? I ask through the link.
Right away. Her voice is full of worry as I cast a final look at Azura and Corrado before I walk away.
I’m on my way, I reply through the link.
Twenty minutes later, Jackie looks up from the monitor.
“It’s just, I don’t really know why you feel like that. There’s no huge change from the last time. I mean, your organs are failing, but there’s nothing majorly different…” she muses worriedly.
“I don’t know, I just feel really hot, and everything seems fucking heightened. Restless. Even my wolf seems to have spurts of rage and… hunger?” Explaining this is fucking weird, and last night I had a dream where I was fucking Azura. Yeah, not the first… but it sure as fuck had me wake up this morning with such a fucking hard-on that I had to jerk off to the thought of her in the fucking shower. But I am not going to fucking tell her any of that shit. She frowns slightly.
“That’s strange…” She looks me over as if trying to find the answer. “Anything that seems to make it worse? Overexerting yourself? Or any certain time of day?” I frown…
“Not really.”
“I’ll try to see what I can find. Right now, nothing is coming to mind. Your temperature is normal, and there doesn’t seem to be anything unusual.”
“Hmm, maybe it’s nothing.”
“I doubt it’s nothing. I’ll run some further tests on your blood,” she says, her eyes shadowing as she looks up at me. “You need to ask for help, Leo.”
“Let’s be serious, Jackie. Kiara can’t regenerate something that is fucking dead. These artificial replacements aren’t cutting it… Ifailed,” I say, leaning forward to take a look at the results.
“Leo, you did well, but maybe if she could cure the poison that is the cause, at least then -“
“Then what? I keep trying to use some shit that isn’t working; heck, I’m not even able to fucking shift without having to replace all that shit.”
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