No, you have not. You pushed him away. For the first time, you showed him he is not the center of your world.
But he is the center of my world. Isn’t he?
Only you can know, Serena. Stop asking me questions I can’t answer for you.
I really hate when she does that.
While Claus is gone, I decide to walk through the palace that was once my home. He never said anything about not having to go back to his room, and surprisingly enough, he did not confine me before he left.
He’s slipping, Serena. He’s trusting you.
He is. I see it now. Perhaps this is what Lilith has been trying to convey to me. He’s trusting me. I’m not failing; I’m succeeding. Trust is the key to this working.
Trust. It’s not a very big word, but a word that can change everything. Trust is a huge leap of faith. It’s dangerous. Trust allows us to depend on others for many things: love, advice, and so much more. Everything we do throughout our daily lives is based on trust. The danger comes when the people we trust don’t follow through. Once trust is lost, for some, it is lost forever. I see Claus softening. I see him being neglectful with my restraints and restrictions. So I sit here and ask myself,
Do I do the right thing and live up to the trust Claus is giving me and hopefully we can work our differences out and have a future together, or do I blow it all to hell, take back my empire, and destroy the only man I will ever love?
I do love him. I guess I always have, but the last few weeks have confirmed it. Do I love that he punishes me regularly? I think honestly to myself.
Yes, sometimes. I giggle to myself. That’s a lie. The truthful answer is yes, most times. We are at a turning point in our game-if that is what we are calling it-and one of us needs to bend one way or the other. One of us must make a decision we are comfortable with and live with it. I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. I know I am the one who is going to have to make the sacrifice. But can I?
As I walk through the palace that was once mine, that had belonged to my family for hundreds of years before me, I contemplate my future. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted, but now, everything has changed. Everything is different. I know where I came from, my roots and my responsibilities, but somehow I have lost sight of where I am going.
“There you are!” Claus says as I turn the corner into the grand ballroom. When I was a child, my parents would host extravagant parties in this room. I remember the elegant gowns, the gourmet foods, the blood and dancing… So much dancing. Humans and vampires lived in harmony together. It is what my family always strived for, and it is up to me to continue with that tradition.
I guess I just made my decision.
“Hello, My King,” I reply as I bow my head, reverencing his rank.
“I believe this is the first time I have seen you walking about the palace. Somebody did not go into her cage today,” he says, scolding me teasingly.
“Forgive me, My King, I thought-“
He cuts me off before I can finish and waves his hand in dismissal. “No worries, my pet. You have been caged, punished, and loved for weeks now. Perhaps my not locking you up was a way to give you some relief. Like you said before, some time to yourself.” He doesn’t say any more, turns, and walks away.
“But, My King!” I call after him, but he continues walking away with no acknowledgment of me. And then, he is gone. For the first time since I returned to my coven, I feel alone.
Is he losing interest in me? Did my asking for some alone time offend him and now he is giving me a taste of what he felt?
Two more weeks pass, and I have barely seen Claus. We have encountered each other in the halls a couple of times with just a hello and a good-bye. No conversation, no sex, and none of his blood. He even stopped sleeping in his bed.
I miss him. I love him.
I feel like I am losing him, and I feel desperate. I can’t lose him. And in that moment, nothing else matters to me than the two of us living together. We can work out our differences. I know we can. He has left me feeling scared, alone, and weak.
Is this his intent?
L aughter fills the bedroom and wakes me from a deep sleep. After wiping my eyes to focus, I see Claus, with a woman. A woman I know. A woman I loathe. How could he?
Because he is trying to hurt you,
Lilith reminds me.
Evangeline has been a thorn in my side ever since we were young vamps. We were created around the same time and grew up into our adult vampire states together. She always wanted Claus but knew he had been promised to me. When we were younger and she would make comments about stealing Claus from me, we laughed and I took it as teasing. But as we aged and I began to grow feelings for Claus, the teasing stopped, and I realized she had been serious from the beginning.
I don’t say a word as I watch the two of them. Claus slowly undoes the buttons on Evangeline’s blouse. He nuzzles her neck and shows his fangs. My heart breaks. He’s going to drink from her.
No! I scream silently.
Please, Claus, don’t do this!
I beg. But just as my plea fills my head, Claus bites down onto Evangeline and moans. Silent tears fall from my cheeks.
I shake my head, wiping the tears away. I brought this all upon myself. I knew that if I came back and tried to win Claus over, there was a huge risk that he would say no and eventually break my heart. It was bad enough losing my empire, but this is so much worse.
When Claus is done drinking, he turns to face me. I see his vindictive grin in the candlelight as Evangeline’s blood drips from the side of his mouth. And unfortunately, I am sure he sees my tears. I open my thoughts to him. “
You have finally broken me. You win!”
His eyes grow sad for a moment but then he turns to Evangeline. “Hey, baby,” he says huskily. “Tell me how much you want me.”
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