Dragging my feet and my suitcase, I walked to the nanny’s house. My mind was blank and nd my body numb. My chest tightened while I saw Ryan through the window. He was sitting cross-legged and laughing softly with the nanny. My sweet boy. So innocent. So oblivious to the disaster waiting outside.
The door creaked open as I knocked gently.
Ryan’s face lit up the moment he saw me. “Mommy!”
He ran straight into my arms and I nearly collapsed due to my own heartbreak.
“Hey, baby,” I whispered into his hair. I squeezed him tightly. I refused to let him feel any of the terror clawing inside my chest.
“You okay?” he asked curiously. His tiny hands cupped my cheeks like he could sense something was wrong.
I forced a smile. “Of course, sweetheart. Mommy’s just tired… that’s all.”
The nanny, a sweet nineteen-year-old girl still living with her parents, smiled softly. “He’s been really good today. But
Liana, I won’t be able to watch him this week. School’s starting again for me and I’ve got early classes.”
I nodded, my throat tight. “That’s okay. Thank you so much for watching him today.” um…
For a split second, I considered asking her if we could stay just for tonight, but the words burned my tongue and I swallowed them down. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t burden her or her family with my mess. Not now.
“I’ll take it from here,” I said quietly.
I paid her for the day and thanked her profusely before Ryan and I stepped out into the darkening street. The cold wind bit at my face, but I barely felt it. I was too busy trying to figure out where the hell we were going to sleep tonight.
Ryan tugged on my sleeve while we walked aimlessly down the road. “Mommy, where are we going?”
“Somewhere nice,” I lied. I forced cheer into my voice even though I wanted to break down and sob right there in front of him.
He tilted his head. He studied me like he could see straight through the lie. “Mommy, I saw our stuff outside when Miss Rosa dropped me off from school. Is everything okay?”
My heart cracked. It bled with shame and helplessness. “It’s okay, honey,” I said softly. I brushed his hair back and kissed his forehead “Mommy’s just figuring stuff out, alright? Everything will be fine.”
He didn’t look convinced. Ryan was way too smart. Too observant for his age.
As if fate wanted to shove me further into misery, my phone vibrated again.
I quickly answered. I was hoping Desperate for some miracle.
It was my colleague. My last resort.
“Hi, it’s Liana… um, can Ryan and I maybe crash at your place tonight?” My voice trembled despite my effort to sound casual.
A beat of silence.
Then. “Oh, Liana… I’m so sorry, but my parents just arrived tonight and the house is packed. There’s literally no space. I’m so sorry.”
“No, it’s okay,” I whispered. My throat was burning. “Don’t worry about it.”
I hung up. My vision was swimming. My heart sank so low I could physically feel the ache spreading through my
Ryan’s small hand slipped into mine. “Mommy? Why are you sad?”
I forced a smile. I blinked rapidly to push back the tears. “I’m not sad, baby. I’m just… tired.” ribs.
He stared at me quietly. His lips pouted slightly as he said in the softest voice, “Who will
I we sleep, Mommy?”
That did it.
My chest cracked. The tears slipped free despite my fight to hold them back.
I crouched down in front of him and cupped his face. “I don’t know yet, angel,” I admitted quietly. “But I promise I’ll figure it out tomorrow. Tonight… we’ll just… find somewhere safe, okay?”
He nodded like the brave little man he always tried to be.
Just then, as if the universe had finally decided to throw me the smallest bone, Miss Rosa’s mom, a kind older woman, passed by carrying groceries.
“Liana?”
I smiled weakly. “Hi, Mrs. Clark.”
Ryan immediately ran to hug her. “Mrs. Clark!”
She giggled and hugged him tightly. She lifted him in her arms. “Oh my goodness, I missed this little guy.”
She looked back at me. She immediately sensed the tension.
“Are you alright, dear?” she asked softly.
I hesitated, then told her the truth. Well, part of it.
“Just having a rough day,” I whispered.
She studied me, then gave me a warm, reassuring smile. “Why don’t Ryan stay with us tonight? My husband and I adore him. The house is a little crowded, but there’s always space for him. You can figure everything out tomorrow.”
I nearly broke right there on the spot.
“You would do that?” I whispered. My voice was cracking.
“Of course,” she said kindly. “Don’t worry. He’ll be safe and happy.”.
I hugged her tightly. I tried and failed not to cry into her shoulder. “Thank you… thank you so much. You have no idea what this means “
After I handed Ryan over and kissed him goodnight about a thousand times, I stepped away into the quiet street. I was feeling emptier than ever.
It was almost eight now. I knew the agent’s office would be closed and I was left stranded with nowhere to go until tomorrow.
I thought briefly about returning to the hotel where I worked but immediately dismissed the idea. That would get me fired on the spot.
A motel. That was my only option.
Just for tonight, I told myself as I started walking slowly down the street. I hugged myself tightly against the night chill.
Just one miserable, lonely night.
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