“Why?” I asked again, my voice shaking.
He ran a hand through his hair like he always did when he was stressed, and I swear, that small habit hit me harder than it should have. He looked broken. He looked like he was begging me not to make this harder.
His e is eyes dropped to my chest, and his fists clenched. He was staring at my robe like it offended him. Like he was seconds away from losing every ounce of control.
“Because I can’t promise you it won’t happen again,” he said in a low, almost pained voice.
“Then don’t,” I whispered, my voice soft, as if I was begging without even realizing it.
He looked away, his jaw clenched. “You don’t understand, Anna. You don’t know what this could turn into. If you did, you’d leave. I’ve already made arrangements. By the time you come back from school today, your new apartment key will be on the dining table. It’s close to campus. Safer.”
“No!” I cried, “Mama brought me here. I’m not going anywhere!”
He looked at me like I’d just ripped open a wound, and the next second, I was pinned to the wall. His body was pressed against mine, and his face was right in front of mine, his breath hot on my cheek, his eyes wild and dark and barely holding on.
“Don’t make things harder for us, Anna,” he warned, voice thick and strained. “Don’t!”
Then his head dropped to my neck, and I felt the shiver go down my spine as he whispered, “No matter how much I want you. No matter how much you are to be mine… I can’t have you, Anna.”
He pulled back, looked me dead in the eyes, and growled.
“Don’t make this harder for me. I won’t be able to hold out much longer.”
And then he left.
Leaving me there, against that wall, confused and breathless and so fucking turned on I could scream.
And wondering what he meant by “no matter how much you are to be mine…”
RYAN’S POV
“Bro, you look like you’re about to explode. Go get laid or something, damn.”
That was Chris, my best friend, standing at the door in nothing but his boxers, looking like he had no clue the kind of hell I was carrying in my chest. I didn’t say a word. I just brushed post him, not even sparing him a glance, and dropped myself onto the nearest couch like my body was about to give out. The second I hit the cushions, I let out a groan so loud it made him laugh like I was some damn sitcom.
I was fucking wrecked. Not just tired, wrecked. My brain felt like it had been run over, my body like it had been stretched out and twisted for days. My head throbbed nonstop, every breath felt too loud, too heavy. It was like I couldn’t shut off, couldn’t relax, couldn’t stop fucking thinking. And the worst part? I hadn’t gotten a single hour of sleep in four whole nights.
All because Anna come back.
“You look like shit,” Chris said, throwing himself into the chair opposite mine, beer already in hand like this was just another chill night. “What’s going on? Girl drama?”
I didn’t respond. Couldn’t. I just pressed the heel of my palm into my temple like I could physically shove the headache away. But of course, it didn’t go anywhere.
Chris was the complete opposite of me. He was carefree, charming, always laughing, always surrounded by women. He thrived on parties, hookups, and chaos. And the craziest part? He was human, yet somehow, he understood half of what went on in the werewolf world.
“Don’t tell me you’re still holding out on sex?” he teased, chuckling. “Bro, I swear, if you don’t get laid soon, you’re gonna die of blue balls. I could literally smell the frustration coming off you when you walked in.”
“I didn’t come here for this bullshit talk,” I grumbled, my eyes still closed, my voice too drained to even sound pissed.
“Alright, alright, calm your horny ass.” He laughed again. “But seriously, my bar is throwing a huge party tonight. Girls from Nivelle College and a few other universities are coming. Pick one. Any one. Just get your dick wet, mon. Maybe you might even find your mate there. It’s not that deep.”
Another groan tore out of me, louder this time, my whole body slumping deeper into the couch. “Chris, I didn’t come here for this shit. I just want to crash for a bit. I’ve got work later, but right now, my head is literally splitting. I needed to rest.”
“You look like you haven’t slept in years,” he muttered, finally sounding serious. “What happened? Can’t sleep in your own house or what?”
I didn’t answer. Just kept staring at the floor like it might give me some peace. My chest was tight again.
“Thought you said your sister just come back or whatever.”
“That’s the more reason I haven’t slept in four days now.”
He stared hard at me. “Wait…”
I stayed silent. My fingers twitched.
“No fucking way.” Chris’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell me it’s her.”
“Chris…” I said his name like a warning, like a prayer, like I needed him to shut the hell up before I lost it.
“Holy shit, it is her, isn’t it?” he leaned back, stunned. “The same girl who ruined your fucking libido. You mean to tell me your first love, your kryptonite, your ‘I can’t get hard unless I see her’ girl is your goddamn sister now?”
“She’s not my sister,” I snapped, and my voice came out more broken than angry. “She’s not my blood. She’s…” I poused, throat dry. My chest was burning.
Chris blinked. “She’s what now?”
I dropped my face into my hands and just sat there, breathing hard. “It doesn’t matter, man. I can’t touch her.”
“Why the hell not? She’s not your blood. You just said that.”
I lifted my head slowly, eyes still on the ground. “Because she’s the daughter of my mom’s best friend. Her parents died in a car crash. My mom made a promise on that women’s grave that she’d take care of her like her own doughter. And she did. That promise became her fucking mantra. ‘Protect Anna like she’s your blood, Ryan. Her mom trusted me. She trusted us.
Chris didn’t say anything.
I rubbed at my jaw, clenching it hard. “So yeah. She’s not my sister. But she is. She’s everything my mom raised her to be. Everything I was warned never to touch. And now she’s back, and she’s my…”
I stopped myself, staring at nothing.
“She’s your what?”
I shook my head. “Doesn’t matter.”
“Bullshit. You’re telling me that same girl you went years obsessing over-the same one you couldn’t even jerk off without thinking of-is back under your roof, and you’re just gonna pretend nothing’s happening?”
“I’m not pretending.”
“Then what are you doing?”
“Fighting. Fighting the bond.”
“Fuck. Is she your mate??!” he asked, and I groaned.
“Shit! That’s deep man. That’s why you can’t sleep?”
I nodded slowly. “Four nights now. No sleep. I can’t close my eyes without seeing her face. Without wanting her. I fucking hate myself for it, Chris. I hate myself for wanting her the way I do. I hate that I want to claim her so bad, I felt like I was going to rip my own skin off if I didn’t.”
Chris just stored, not saying a damn word.
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