“I remember,” Ryder nods, still watching me. “There was this warm light. I thought it was the moon, but it was you. You are my light, Paige.”
I have to resist the urge to throw myself at him, because everything is still too fresh, and if I go to him now, I might never let go.
Poppy presses a hand to her heart. “Okay, that’s disgustingly romantic.”
“Shut up,” I laugh, grateful for the break in emotional tension..
“Sorry,” Poppy laughs, raising her hands. “It’s just… nice to see everyone smiling again.”
Before I can respond to her, there’s the sound of small, quick footsteps in the hall. Then the door bursts open.
“Mum!”
Jaxon barrels into the room like a ray of sunlight. His hair is damp from the rain and still sticking up from sleep, but he’s still the most adorable little guy I’ve ever seen. I know I’m biased, but he’s so much like his dad that it makes my chest ache every time I look at him. Parker follows him in, looking even more handsome. I don’t know what it is, but seeing how good my mates are with my son makes them impossibly more attractive.
“Whoa, hey,” I laugh, setting my coffee down just in time to catch him as he launches himself at me.
Careful, baby.”
He squeezes me tightly, his little arms wrapping around my neck. “Parker said you had to stay here to look after Dad and Uncle Cal. Were they sick?” He asks, looking over at Ryder and then at Callen.
“Just a tummy ache, they’re okay now,” I reassure him.
I look up at Ryder, who’s watching his son with a look so full of love it could break me.
“Hey, buddy” Ryder says, voice soft. “Come here.”
Jax scrambles across to him, carefully climbing up on the side of the bed. Ryder wraps his arms around him and presses a kiss to his messy hair. “I missed you, pup.”
“I missed you too,” Jax mumbles into his chest. “Does your tummy feel better?”
Ryder meets my eyes over his son’s head.
“Yes, your mum fixed it for me,” he says, squeezing Jax gently.
“She always makes my tummy feel better too,” Jax smiles. Then he looks around at everyone, scrunching his tiny nose. “I smell bacon.”
Ronnie laughs and hands him a wrapped sandwich from the bag. “Here, get that down you.”
Jax beams and takes a giant bite.
Parker lets out a sigh. “I thought you said you weren’t hungry?”
“I wasn’t, but then I got hungry,” Jaxon shrugs.
I smile at Parker as he shakes his head, looking like an exasperated dad trying to work out the mind of a young child. I should tell him it’s an impossible task, but I feel like this is one of those lessons people have to learn for themselves.
For a while, it’s just laughter and warmth. Something I think we all need after last night. Poppy helps Jax finish his sandwich, wiping his face with a cloth and smoothing his hair down, her smile soft but tired. The others talk quietly, voices low and full of relief.
I just sit there, watching it all. The easy chatter, the way Jax leans into Poppy’s touch, the smooth sound of
Ryder’s voice from across the room. It’s almost too much, this rush of love and gratitude, this reminder of how close we came to losing it all. For a second, it doesn’t feel real. To have these people here, to see them surrounding my son with so much care… it’s more than I ever dared to hope for. It feels like a dream, one I don’t ever want to wake up from.
When it’s time for school, Parker ruffles Jax’s hair and stands. “Come on, little man. Let’s get you to
Regina.”
“I don’t want to go yet,” Jax protests, clinging to my arm.
“You’ll come back after school,” I promise, kissing his cheek. “Dad and Uncle Callen need to rest right now.
He nods reluctantly, hugging Callen and then Ryder one last time before sliding off the bed.
“I love you, Jax,” Ryder says softly.
“Love you too, Dad.”
Poppy squeezes my shoulder on her way out. “I’ll walk with them, I could use some air.”
When the door finally closes behind them, the room quiets again. I finally stand and move towards Ryder, forcing myself to go at a normal pace.
Ryder reaches for my hand, threading his fingers through mine. “You really are incredible, you know that?” he murmurs. “I don’t think I’ll ever find the right words to thank you.”
“You don’t have to,” I whisper. “Just being here is enough.”
Remy clears his throat from the corner. He’s watching us, his expression thoughtful.
“What’s wrong?” I ask softly.
He hesitates, glancing briefly at Ronnie, then back to Ryder. “Now that everyone’s awake,” he says carefully, “and no one’s bleeding out or dying anymore… there are some things we need to discuss.”
Ryder’s easy smile fades. “What kind of things?”
Remy exchanges a look with Ronnie before answering. “Let’s wait for Parker, everyone needs to hear this.”
A pit of dread opens in my gut.
** Ryder’s POV **
The quiet after everyone leaves feels heavier than it should. The rain outside has slowed to a drizzle, barely making a sound against the windows. Outside, I can hear the buzz of pack life returning to normal. It’s strange how the world keeps moving when you’ve just balanced on the edge of death.
That’s the truth of it, though. If I’d died last night, the pack would have mourned, maybe lit a fire in my name, shared stories for a week or two. Then life would’ve gone on. Patrols would still run. The moon would still rise. The world wouldn’t stop spinning just because I wasn’t in it.
The thought hits harder than I expect. It’s humbling, and it’s terrifying. I’m not untouchable, no matter how much I’ve tried to pretend otherwise. One stupid mistake, and I almost left everything that mattered behind. My brother. My friends. My mate. My son.
All because I got careless. I thought I was strong enough to handle anything.
The guilt sinks in deep. I should’ve known better. I should’ve been smarter. The idea that Callen might’ve had to tell Jax his dad wasn’t coming home, that Paige would’ve had to face that pain again, it makes my chest ache in a way no poison ever could.
My hand tightens around Paige’s. She hasn’t moved far, still perched on the edge of the bed beside me, her thumb tracing circles over my skin. The warmth of her touch feels like proof that I’m still here. That the darkness didn’t win.
I focus on the rhythm of her breathing. On the steady beat of my own heart. Both feel like a small miracle.
“Stop staring at me like I’m about to fall apart,” I say softly, trying to sound more like myself.
Paige gives me a look that’s half exasperation, half relief. “You almost did.”
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