Did I miss something? Is she leaving?
The kid’s laughter from the sitting room shatters my illusion. I might not know much about her, but she made it clear she would never leave without her son.
I hear more footsteps on the stairs and I look up to see the Alpha twins heading down. My eyes meet with Callen’s for the briefest moment, and it feels like a punch to the gut. I can’t face him, not yet. I turn and bolt towards the back door, barely holding my human form ong enough to get off the back porch. I shred my second set of clothes in the space of an hour as my wolf bursts from me in a flash.
“Remy, wait up,” Callen says through the mind link as plough ahead, needing to put as much distance in the least amount of time as possible from Callen and his perfect little mate.
“Fuck off, Cal, look after your human,” I snarl.
“No. You clearly need me more than she does right now he says, and my steps falter.
Does he mean that? Does he care?
I feel his wolf brush up against mine. As an alpha, his wolf is bigger, faster, and stronger than mine. If I run, he will catch me. If I fight, he will beat me. I slow my pace; the fight draining out of me. What’s the point of even trying?
“I don’t think you should be out here with me alone right now, Callen. I can’t… I can’t be around you,” I say, glad we are using the mind link, because if I was in my human form, I wouldn’t have been able to get the words out without breaking down.
And I won’t break down! I’m the Beta of the Phoenix Moon Pack, and betas don’t cry, especially over men they can’t have.
“Remy, you’re my Beta, you can’t not be around me. You’re also my closest friend and I need you,” he says, and the word friend feels like a slap.
I stop moving, turning my head to look at him. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise how hard of a day this was for you. As your friend, I should have been more supportive. I mock.
“It’s okay, Rem. It’s been a tough day for us all.”
Is he serious?
An anger like no other bubbles within me, ready to burst out of me like lava from a volcano. A low dangerous growl sounds out, and it takes my brain a moment to realise the sound is coming from me. The second I realise, I collapse onto the floor in my human form, my wolf abandoning me for the very first time. I get why my wolf did it. I was so angry I was in danger of challenging my Alpha, but I still feel betrayed he left me like that.
“Are you okay? What happened?” Callen asks, crouching beside me in his human form now, too.
I don’t answer him for a moment. I can’t. Instead, I curl into the fetal position on the damp ground, wishing he would just disappear and let me deal with this alone.
“Remy,” he says, placing a warm hand on my bare shoulder that makes me flinch.
I crave his touch as much as I despise it right now. I want him to hold me and tell me everything will be okay, just as much as I want him to stay away from me.
‘Go back to your mate, Callen,” I say, my tone just as biter as I feel.
I need him to leave before I say something I’ll regret, but of course he doesn’t.
Instead, he crouches there silently, close enough for his scent to mess with my head, but not close enough to touch me again. I hate he is finally keeping that boundary in place, the boundary we set and then repeatedly crossed for the last four years.
“I can’t leave you like this,” he says softly.
“You already have,” I snap, lifting my head. “You left the moment the fates delivered your mate to you.”
“It’s not like that…”
“Don’t!” I cut him off, dragging myself into a sitting position and hugging my knees to my chest. My whole body trembles, but I hold his gaze. “Don’t lie to me. Not now.”
Callen tenses his jaw and he looks away, like he can’t bear the truth. He’s never been good at facing the damage he causes.
I laugh, and it comes out bitter and broken. “You think this is hard for you? You get her. Eventually. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but she will give in. They always do. You get a mate, a future, a damn legacy, and what the fuck do I get?… Nothing but a broken fucking heart!”
“I didn’t ask for this,” he whispers, still not looking at me.
“Neither did I!” I shout, my voice cracking. “I didn’t ask you to make me fall for you. To keep coming back to me every time you were lonely or angry or needed someone to warm your bed. You made me believe I was more than just convenient. You made me believe we had something.’
>>
Callen finally looks back at me, and for a second, there’s something there in his eyes. Is that guilt?….. Good. I hope it haunts him.
“Remy,” he breathes my name, and it sounds like a prayer, like it still means something.
“Do you love her?” I ask, needing to hear him admit it.
“No, I’ve known her for five minutes. I don’t even know her yet.”
I stupidly let his words spark hope inside me. If he doesn’t love her yet, then it’s not too late for me. He can deny it all he wants, but I know he loves me. I feel it in our moments alone. I see it in the way he looks at me. We don’t just fuck. We make love.
“Let’s run. Reject her and we will leave. We will find another pack, one that will accept us and allow us to complete a bonding ceremony,” I plead, rising to my knees.
He closes his eyes and his breathing hitches as I reach for him, my hands gripping his hips.
“I can’t. I’m Alpha, I can’t abandon my pack. No one would accept us, even if I wanted to. They would see us as deserters.”
“Then give me one last time,” I say, my hand gliding over his thigh, making him shudder under my touch. “We can’t,” he says softly but makes no move to stop n
If I can get him to accept me now, then I have a shot of convincing him I’m what he needs, not her. I push to my feet, stroking my hands over his bare chest.
“She hasn’t accepted you yet,” I murmur, leaning close “You’re not bound to her, not until she accepts your claim, so it doesn’t count. Not yet.”
“It always counts with you. That’s the problem,” he says, eyes still closed, like he can’t bear to look at me. “Then stop pretending it doesn’t,” I whisper, brushing my lips against his jaw.
His hand grip my arms, not roughly, but firmly enough to stop me going any further.
“If I let this happen, then I’ll lose her before I’ve even had the chance to earn her trust.”
“And if you don’t. You lose me,” I say, my voice crackin as I blink back the tears I swore I’d never let him see.
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