“My mum was half human. It’s why she was…. weak.” The shame that overcomes her tone, flushes her cheeks red and pushes her gaze back to the ground, overwhelms me. I inhale in shock, turning back to her in time to see her dropping her chin to her chest and exhaling painfully as though letting out a long-burdened weight on her body and I wonder if this is the first time she has told anyone those words. I know being Luna means I can somehow charm her pack into confiding deepest secrets, but I truly never thought Carmen would be so willing to share something like this. I know for a fact Colton doesn’t have this in his memory banks, so she never told him at all.
“My dad was livid when he found out. He was so mad, he never touched her again, but she was already pregnant with me, and he pressured her into aborting. He abhorred her for that part of her, and me, because it lives in me too and he hated the fact she defied him and kept me. Inferior…weak.? Worthless. An impure hybrid with a species who is completely giftless and he was ashamed to know us at all….. I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.”
It explains so much, especially Tawna’s inability to heal her mental state with turning. It explains Carmen’s sometimes loner personality; while wolves, even me, really long to be part of the pack and crave close connections but she always avoided it. Flaws from hybrids can be devastating on the abilities most wolves are born with. Any discrepancy or mutation can affect us, like how I can override Colton’s alpha tone even before I was his Luna. Sierra and the Doc found out a lot about this in the years they studied and researched hybrids and it’s amazing a human was even able to carry a half wolf to term.
“You’re none of those things. We don’t choose what we are Carmen, we just live with it and learn how to use it to our advantage. If you were weak, inferior, Meds wouldn’t have vouched for you as our back up. So, pull yourself together, grab whatever you need a for a few days and meet me out front. We need to go and as much as I know I should be giving you time, empathy, and compassion, I don’t have the time right now. Come or stay, we leave in about fifteen minutes, and I expect to see you there.”
I know I’m being harsh, but really, I don’t have the energy for this. If I let her wallow in pity she will spiral, and it won’t help. We need to leave; we need to go before people wake and we want to be out of here at the break of dawn as the sun peeks to make sure we have maximum time to get where we are going. Safe from vamps, and early enough that maybe the wolves out there will be asleep, wherever they are. I know that even enchanted that they do rest, we saw them trail off as the sun went down to go wherever they were beckoned, and we can only assume it was to sleep. I don’t doubt that even enchanted they need to do the basics of self-care, like eat, rest, use the bathroom. Here’s hoping they all don’t wake at the same hour as Colton with an energy akin to the sun at that hour.
I don’t wait for an answer, feeling antsy and knowing I need to stay pulled together and strong, or else I’ll break and I’m already emotionally exhausted. I walk off, leaving her there to decide what she’s doing and make light work of getting outside in hyper speed. I’m in no mood for more interactions with other wolves right now.
Meadow is outside with a very familiar truck pulled into the center of the drive and it’s covered all over with symbols, spray painted on everything I can see. They are only a shade or two darker than the green military paint so not overly showy, but I know they’re what I saw in the spell book yesterday. I guess Sierra figured this was the best way to cast a protection spell on our vehicle. To keep the fog out and maybe our pack too, much like the rune border does.
It’s the medical truck from the lab that the Doc and I came here in so many months ago and that sense of Deja Vue and full circle claw at the back of my mind again. Making my skin bristle and wonder at why this feels like it has more importance than it should. Maybe the fates are coercing something once again, but I truly can’t imagine how this circles back to all that’s come before. I push the feeling away and set my eyes on the truck before me, in all its glory.
It’s large, roomy, with space in the back for supplies and us to lay down and sleep should we need it. And when I wander around to the open back doors, I’m not shocked to see two beds clipped into place, one on each side, and another one folded flat and pushed into a corner. I guess Meds figured should we need to stop and spend a night somewhere, then a truck with a protection spell is the best place to sleep. If the runes keep Vamps out here, then it should be the same on this vehicle, so inside we wouldn’t be sitting targets at all. There’s a whole bunch of crates piled and strapped into one corner, holding dried and fresh foods, a small camping stove and packs of water beside it. She really has thought ahead, and it brings a veil of peace over my fraught nerves for a moment. Reminding me of Colton’s capable command and attention to detail and just serves to remind me why Meadow is his beta.
“Is she coming?” Meadow comes around, slightly pushing me over while she closes up the back doors and locks them tight, showing more runic symbols painted on them. I run my fingertips over the surface of them with interest.
“Were these successful?” I ask, not really answering her question when I don’t even know myself. Carmen never gave me any real hint if she would actually follow me or not, even if she said she was coming.
“She thinks so, but we won’t know until we test it. She put them everywhere, even underneath, and on the roof, thinking it will create a bubble. So, the fog can’t get in and neither will anyone who’s enchanted.” Meadow stands beside me and admires Sierra’s handywork with a silent stiff posture. I can feel her tension ebbing my way, her mind caught in plans and the road ahead.
“How do we test it? I ask curiously and Meadow glares at the sentinel who has been helping her, one I recognize as being called Tom. Someone Colton trusts and speaks highly of who’s been on sentinel patrol many times. I guess he is sworn to secrecy. He wouldn’t have been part of the search due to labor of his mate yesterday and the arrival of twin puppies last night, so we’re lucky we have at least one capable wolf staying here to assist Sierra.
“I volunteered.” he points out, but Meadow shakes her head, giving off that aura of attitude and I know I probably missed an argument.
“No, Tom. I told you. She needs you here, not some mindless whatever, out there with them if it doesn’t work. Those puppies need their
Papi
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