You picked the wrong survivor, if you think I’m going to quit easily. I thought.
Finally he turned away and stalked off towards the bar.
I guess he agrees this arrangement is acceptable.
A part of me felt dejected that he was so casual about our relationship, but emotional connections just made everything messy, in my experience. It’s better this way, I suppose. More clear cut.
I wandered to the dessert table and was selecting something chocolate-y to eat along with my feelings when Ryan appeared. He had a look of urgency and snagged my wrist, pulling me through a staff door and into a back hallway.
“Hey!” I exclaimed, watching my carefully selected treats be abandoned on a napkin still on the table as he tugged me along, “I was eating those!”
The door shut behind us and now it was just Ryan and I standing in the hallway outside the kitchen where there was a great commotion of dishes and shouting as they prepared for the larger pack feast after the ceremony.
Ryan’s face looked stricken. At first I thought this was about my confrontation with Zara, but he seemed… more upset. Despite the shitty way we’d parted, I still felt concern for him and his well-being.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. Maybe his father was sick, or one of our friends had been harmed in the fighting?
“Avery,” Ryan grabbed my hand in both of his, “I want you back.”
What the actual…???
“Wha-?” I sputtered..
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Did this man just… really think I would want anything to do with him after what had happened??
“I don’t even mind that you’ve been marked!” Ryan went on, completely oblivious, “I’m willing to cover it up! But I… still have feelings for you.”
I repressed the retch that threatened to spill from my lips and yanked my hand from his.
How pathetic. Only now does he realize what he gave up? How did I not see that he was this deplorable before?
My wolf snarled in my mind, sending me a burst of love that carried with it the strong sense that I wasn’t to blame myself for Ryan’s failings.
“You… have feelings for me…” I repeated, slowly.
“They never really stopped.” Ryan looked miserable, but somehow I was having a hard time believing his pitiable act. “I shouldn’t have slept with Zara, I’m sorry.”
“Well, it’s a bit late for that, isn’t it!” I snapped, “And now you think you can just take me back and everything will be like it was?”
“Yes!” Ryan didn’t seem to grasp it was a question, “I know you might not believe me, but I miss you. I love you! And…”
He got down on one knee while I gaped at him in disbelief, “I should announce Zara as my Luna tonight once I’m made Alpha, but if you agree, I’m willing to choose you instead!”
“Have you… consulted your parents? Or Zara about this??” I choked out, stunned. “Because this is classic Ryan behavior.”
He blinked up at me in surprise as my voice rose angrily.
“Typical for you! You have a feeling that you don’t know how to handle so you make a rash choice. Except every time it’s me who takes the fall for it! You get in trouble, and then somehow I pay the price!” I berated him.
“And now you think you can just swap me in for Zara, like we’re interchangeable! Feelings don’t work that way, Ryan, and if you thought about someone other than yourself for once, you would understand that!”
Seeing that I wouldn’t relent, Ryan reached out and grabbed my hands again, but his face twisted into an ugly expression this time, “Did you sleep with Gideon?? Don’t tell me you think you’ve already fallen for him in just a few days! Can you really say that you don’t love me anymore?”
There it is. He just wants to know that I didn’t throw him away. Projection much?
His questions were awful, and showed just what he actually thought of me. Any love and care I still carried for him withered away to nothing.
I kept silent and refused to look at him.
Instead, I watched the door to the hallway swing open.
Gideon entered. He took one look at Ryan clinging onto me from where he knelt on the floor and my disgusted expression, and placed his boot on his chest and kicked him backwards through the door.
Stunned, Ryan slid on his back into the ceremony hall, swiftly followed by Gideon who bore down on him with a look of murderous intent.
“Touch her again and I will take your hide for my wall.” Gideon warned.
Ryan scrambled away and to his feet, embarrassed and humiliated in front of the hall full of guests. He snarled and lunged back towards Gideon. Gideon’s eyes lit up at the challenge and he moved to meet Ryan with terrifying speed.
I was about to see Gideon destroy my ex in front of his own pack, I realized.
Strangely, I’m okay with that.
My wolf agreed.
Just as they were about to come to blows, Zara stepped between them and diverted Ryan away. I couldn’t hear what she said, but the fight broke up before it started.
How embarrassing for Ryan on the day of his own Alpha ceremony!
Then another thought occurred to me, Oh, I guess that’s probably why Gideon stood up for me as well – he was probably just saving face.
I felt more crestfallen at this perspective. Numbly, I stood in the doorway as Gideon returned and took my arm. He pulled me into the back hallway and out the back exit of the building.
The sun was sinking below the trees, a golden deflating balloon. It reflected off the planes of Gideon’s face and brightened his hair. He was painted in gold, but his eyes were cold iron.
“Did you have a thing with Ryan before?” he demanded.
Gideon’s POV
I dragged Avery behind me through the back hallway and out into the open air. She followed me compliantly, and a part of me was pleased that she was so willing to let me lead her to where we could talk.
I spun her to face me, and the setting sun behind her crowned her with a golden halo. Her eyes were shadowed with sadness as she spoke.
“Ryan and I were together before the Full Mating Moon.” she said softly, “Then we broke up.
Is she upset because they’re not together? I stared at her, trying to read the expression in those bottomless eyes. No. I don’t think that’s it.
Still, there had been something there. Something that was strong enough to still be causing her pain. I found myself furious at the situation..
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