Carmen’s loss, her constant weight of guilt, her change about caring about others… she’d been pregnant, and she lost something she’d grown to love instantly. For a girl who craves genuine love and a bond from someone who might just see and value her, it must have been doubly crushing.
I can feel her agony so much clearer now as the sadness rises but she battle’s it back down behind that tough demeanor and shoves it behind that haughty tone and superior frown. Just a glimpse of her despair, but enough to break my heart for her for the rest of time. Meadow is silent as she absorbs this, finally that compassion I know she has on full show, tears filling her eyes, and Leyanne breaks the eerie quiet.
“Well, you three enjoy the heart to heart. Sister bonding seems to be much needed in your pack of three. Joined by fate… maybe you gals need to work on that. Like I said – early rise, be ready for my arrival. You don’t want to miss who I’m bringing along.”
She doesn’t wait for a reply, not that any of us have one to give as startled shock is causing strained silence and tearful faces but turns on her heel and leaves without a second glance. Disappearing into the darkness as smoothly as she first arrived, as the atmosphere around the fire grows steadily worse.
The guest
It’s a strange night, to say the least. Long, and almost sleepless. Strained with three minds brewing crazily, and not exactly restful. Conversation is quiet, and sparse, as Carmen asked us never to bring up our newfound fact again and it seems none of us know what else to talk about. It all circles back around the two things – the fact I’m pregnant, with twins, and the fact Carmen lost her child that we never knew existed and mentioning either is obviously a sensitive topic. For both of us.
Me, I lay in bewildered and silent shock, staring at the sky, trying to get my chaotic feelings under control and absorb the reality of this while Meadow keeps watch. She’s alert, on guard and sits staring out into the darkness, spinning to every new sound and can’t seem to switch off at all. In Colton’s absence she’s become my ever-attentive protector and it soothes me a little, while my heart still yearns for him to come to me and hug me tight.
What I wouldn’t give for him to be laid beside me now. His face close to mine, his nose touching, his breath warming my lips. His strong arms around me keeping me warm and safe, like he always does. His gentle yet seductive tone and that accent that makes me weak at the knees for him. I miss him more than I can bear, and every second that passes that we’re still apart, I feel like I’m dwindling and crumbling to dust. My heart is broken with the loss of him. My soul is fighting so hard to find the hope, the remedy and to bring him home, yet I’m already so exhausted. I need him so much, more so since the witch told me that I’m carrying our children and I can’t turn if I don’t wish to harm them.
My head’s a mess and I wonder how long they’ve existed in my belly, while I was careless and patrolled with the sentinels. While I used my gifts, selfishly turned at will, and paraded around with no hint of danger of the inner workings of my body. How long have I been tired, and hungry, and oblivious to my own body telling me to slow down and rest, because of these two little lives glowing brightly in the depths of my soul. It makes me sick to my stomach that without even knowing of their presence, I could have ended them with my complete ignorance, and guilt claws at me. Cutting deep and slicing my heart to shreds.
Sierra was right, even if she didn’t mean it in that way – I do have a little witch in me. In fact, I have two. Somewhere in my heart it makes me warm, and happy, swearing to protect them at all costs, but the troubles, the worry, and the vulnerability it gives me now claws up like a dreaded threat and chokes me into uneasy fear. I just lost my edge in this war, my upper hand. If I can’t turn, I can’t heal, so I have to make sure nothing happens to me that requires that. I can’t use my wolf gifts, become strong, and huge. I can’t battle as a human, but at least I still have my vampire traits to fall back on, although my energy is weaker and at least now I know why.
We all stay this way, trapped in our own heads. Dozing occasionally when our bodies give up the fight, catching minutes or more of fretful slumber but then awaken at the uncomfy, and unfamiliar surroundings, with a start. We’re awake at odd times, sometimes together, mostly not, and nothing can really pull us out of it. This weird semi sleep, overly nervy mood we seem to be sharing. It’s a surreal night, being somewhere strange, noises out in the dark that we have never heard back home, but like Leyanne said, nothing comes close or even ventures at the perimeter, so we feel relatively safe even with her gone. Her magic is powerful, and after she left, Meadow found symbols and etchings in a full circle outside on the derelict walls, much like the truck. So, she at least didn’t lie about our safety in this ruin. I guess in that she earned one point towards trust.
The early rise of sun doesn’t wake us as we’re already up. Boiling water, making coffee that she left behind in that trunk full of things we assume she carries with her. It’s weird. She has no transport around, yet this thing is huge, and weighs a ton and seems to carry everything she needs to travel. It’s full to the brim of clothes, books, dried foods, potion bottles, and an array of personal belongings that she has just entrusted to be left with us with no care about us opening it to get the supplies she mentioned. We made sure not to touch the grimoires that were stacked in one corner, Sierra’s voice coming to mind about never touching one without a witch handing it to you.
We were careful to not pry too much, only access the coffee and sweeteners, ignoring her belongings as best we could, and we kept the campsite clean. We are aware that crows still watch us as only a few left with her, and who knows, this magical bitch might have cursed her stuff so if we did pry we would suffer for it. There’s no telling what someone like her would do.
“Who do you think she’s bringing back with her?” Meadow cuts into my thoughts, pulling me out of the endless stirring of coffee I have been doing while daydreaming about nothing and everything all at once. I shrug, frowning with a deflated exhale and shake my head.
“Honestly, with her, it could be anyone. She’s vague as hell and I’m not convinced she’s sane. I still don’t know if we should trust her or not.”
“Oh, she’s sane. She’s just a little all-knowing and smug for my liking. I don’t trust her as far as I could throw her while in human form.” Carmen interjects, her face worn and drawn with dark circles under her eyes. Telltale signs she didn’t sleep at all, and she moves to rummage a small cooler beside the chest for fresh food and finds nothing. We’re all tired, bellies rumbling from hunger and fed up waiting here.
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