After that, silence stretched taut. The lamplight cut across his features, throwing shadows that made him look haunted.
Then he said the last thing I expected: “There’s not going to be a wedding.”
I must have misheard him. “What?”
“I broke up with Celeste,” he said. His voice was quiet, but the words were clear.
My first instinct was disbelief. “Is that “Then anger surged. “What kind of stupid joke is this, Kieran?”
He shook his head firmly. “It’s not.”
I scoffed. “Celeste just gloated all up and down my mother’s house about your engagement party, and now you’re here spewing this bullshit?”
His jaw clenched. “I don’t know why she would say that after we’re broken up.”
I let out a sharp bark of laughter. “Goddess, you two are fucking exhausting. I’m not in the mood for this latest performance-“
“It’s not a performance,” he cut in sharply. “It’s over between me and Celeste. I mean it, Sera.”
The raw sincerity in his tone unnerved me. Was he… Could he possibly be telling the truth?
I squeezed my arms tighter around myself, desperate to contain the suddenly frantic pounding of my heart.
“Okay, let’s pretend for a moment that I believe you.” I arched a brow. “What the hell do you want from me? Congratulations?
Condolences?”
He took a slow breath, as though choosing his words carefully. “No. I just thought you should know.”
“You thought I should know,” I echoed. “Why the fuck-“
Behind me, the car door creaked open.
“Mom?” Daniel’s small voice cut through.
I turned, my irritation melting instantly into softness. “I told you to stay inside the car, baby.”
His eyes darted between me and Kieran, and he moved closer instead.
“It’s fine,” Kieran said gently, crouching slightly to meet his eyes. “I just need to talk to your mom for a bit, bud.”
Daniel looked between us searchingly. Then, with more maturity than any nine-year-old should have, he nodded. “Okay.” He waved the house keys in his hands. “I’ll go inside. Mom, can I make some cereal?”
I nodded, my lower lip trembling. Gods, he was so precious. “Sure. But don’t eat too much; I’ll be right in to make dinner, sweetie.”
As soon as Daniel disappeared inside, the tension returned-thicker, heavier.
Kieran exhaled. “He’s a good kid,” he said quietly. “You raised him well.”
“I would share the credit, but you couldn’t stand to be in the same room as me, so I was never privy to your parenting technique.”
He inhaled sharply like I’d stabbed him in the heart. But he nodded slowly. “I deserve that.”
I scoffed.
“Sera,” he said after a long stretch of silence, “the real reason I broke up with Celeste, the real reason I came to tell you is because…” He stiffened, like he was bracing himself. “I did it because…, because I couldn’t lie to myself anymore.”
I frowned. “Lie about what?”
He hesitated. His throat moved as he swallowed, and when he met my eyes, I saw something raw there. Something almost…helpless.
“About us,” he said simply. “About…what I feel for you.”
I went cold all over. “Kieran-“
“No, let me finish,” he said, his voice hoarse now. “I know I was an abhorrent bastard. I know I destroyed everything that could’ve been good between us. Fuck, I never even gave it a chance to be good. But every day since the divorce, 1-“
He stopped, inhaled shakily. “I thought I’d feel relieved. Free. But I wasn’t. From the moment you walked out of our home, out of my life, I was…hollow.”
He looked at me like the word itself cost him something.
“I regret it,” he continued tightly. “All of it. The way I treated you. The way I let Celeste and my family poison my perception of you. The years I wasted pretending I didn’t care.”
I stared at him, my mind a tangle of disbelief and…more disbelief. “You regret it?” I repeated softly, almost to myself. “After all this time?”
He nodded. “Sera, you have no idea how sorry I-“
My sharp bark of laughter cut him off. “Is this how men work? You break something beyond repair, then decide you miss how it used to shine?”
“Sera-“
“Listen to yourself!” I gasped incredulously. “You sound like a disgruntled child, Kieran. You wanted Celeste when you had me, and now that you have her, you want me?”
“I-“
“Do you want me to say I forgive you?” I asked, stepping closer now, anger making my words tremble.
I couldn’t believe he was doing this. After all the pain and heartache he caused me, I couldn’t believe he was fucking doing this.
“Do you want redemption? A clean slate? A pat on the back for finally realizing what you had?”
If I had any sympathy to give, if I hadn’t spent every day since our divorce armoring my heart, the hurt splashed across his face might have pierced me.
But.
“I’m not that woman anymore,” I said. “The one who used to wait and hope and make excuses for you. She died a little with every cold night and every humiliation I endured while you pined after sister.” my
“Sera, I don’t expect forgiveness-“
“Good,” I cut in sharply. “Because you won’t get it.”
Kieran nodded vigorously, his hair flopping slightly with his movement. “I know, I know. I’ve done too much to be let off the hook so easily. I just needed you to know that I’m done running from the truth. That I’m going to make things right-even if it takes the rest of my life.”
I shook my head. “Breaking up with Celeste doesn’t make things right.”
“I know.”
“It doesn’t erase what you did.”
“I know.”
“And it doesn’t change what we are. Or rather, what we’re not.”
“I know that too.”
“Then why are you here?” I demanded. “If not to be forgiven, then what the ever-loving fuck do you want from me?”
Kieran’s eyes softened, and that made it worse. “You,” he said simply. “Not your forgiveness. Not your understanding. Just…you.”
I froze. His words punched straight through my ribcage, closing icy fingers around my heart.
When I turned away, it was partly to hide the sudden moisture in my eyes. “Don’t,” I whispered. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”
“I do.”
I almost laughed again, but it came out as a broken sound this time. “And what? You think we can just undo the last ten years? You think you can walk back into my life and I’ll fall into your arms because you finally decided to see me? To choose me?”
“No,” Kieran said quietly. “But I can start by not losing you again.”
The last shred of my composure snapped.
“Don’t you dare,” I hissed, turning back to him. “You didn’t lose me. You threw me away!”
He flinched as I continued, “You don’t get to rewrite history because your conscience is acting up.”
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