“You heard what she said….” Sierra whimpers uncharacteristically.
“I know, and we’ll deal with that when the time comes, but for now, how about we just enjoy this moment? Take it for what it is. I’m carrying Colton’s babies… my babies. Your blood…a chance to relive all those things you lost out on. Helping raise two healthy pups and experiencing all those firsts again.” I inject a lighthearted tone, grab her hand, and squeeze it tight. Trying to sound excited for her sake, knowing how important this is to her.
Sierra’s eyes lift as do her brows, as some of the joy returns at my words, drying her eyes and she nods brightly. Her mood wavering but she can’t conceal the genuine happy.
“You’re right…. My son’s little ones will be so like him, all over again only in duplicate. I’m so unbelievably thrilled.”
Deep down, I think part of me is even more joyful for her than for myself at this news. For right now anyway, while I have so many burdens and worries to carry about their existence.
Sierra’s loneliness, her pining for what she lost, maybe my children can play a part in healing her wounds and giving her something only watching a child of her bloodline grow can give her. It’s not exactly a do over, but it’s close enough. She’ll have more than just Colton and I to adore and cherish and my babies will fill her heart in ways we can’t. They truly are a blessing.
“Okay, show me what I missed, then I can go the rest of my evening bubbling over with happiness at this wonderful news. These children are going to be so loved.” It seems after a moment to absorb it; her energy and excitement finally show face. Like she needed my permission to forget about the fog for a second. It raises my spirt and I smile at her, basking in the warmth she gives, but then my face falling as I realize I now have to fill in the gaps too.
Oh boy…..
Now the part I’m not looking forward to and knowing that she’s going to see everything that I did. She’s going to find out I’m way more vampire than I ever knew I could be. I’m not exactly happy about that.
The Plan
It’s been four days since Leyanne got here and I still cannot get any kind of read on her. She’s annoyingly distant, still likes to play vague, and although she gives us zero indication that we can’t trust her, it’s always there swirling around like an underlying coldness. I don’t know if it’s like Carmen; with her wall of explainable hostile to keep people at bay. Or if her magic somehow gives her this aura of power and distance, but I get severe lonely and empty vibes from her that I can’t quite decipher.
Not much has happened while we go through the motions of current daily life and plod along. Carmen isn’t really showing face often, only in brief passing, and seems to stick to her room which is understandable. Given how much she now has to process while we have downtime. She asked for time, to grieve, to absorb, to be alone with the pangs of missing her newfound mate and the loss of her family and I let her alone. She needs time and understanding. Two things I never had when I suffered similar things and I want to give her that. I feel it’s the least I can do, to soften her pain in some way because I feel responsible for all of it. Even though I know I’m not.
Meadow is overseeing the patrols, the sentinel shifts, and the village, to make sure no one ventures beyond the rune line, and we are trying to present as much normal as we can. All while Leyanne and Sierra lock themselves below the house and pour over grimoires in a bid to figure out the best way to combat this damn fog. On the surface everything seems fine, despite what we all know but don’t talk about, but it’s not and their absence invades the air more by the hour every day.
I am under orders to rest, to retain my energy, and everyone in the house is treating me like fragile glass. Sierra has stopped pushing me to confirm the pregnancy as I decided I would wait for him. To let him be part of that confirmation when he comes home. I need to give him something in this news, a sweet way to remember the moment, seeing as the discovery was not sweet at all.
I miss him so badly that I find myself wandering to the border to catch glimpses of him, even if it’s fury filled and he’s looking at me like he wants to devour me and throw my carcass to his pack. He still doesn’t recognize me, and he still views me as something to kill.
I’m in agony, broken without him, pining for him more so as the days stretch into endlessness. I’ve cried myself to sleep so many times, only to wake an hour later at the loss of his heat beside me and start all over again. My mind eternally muggy with tiredness and loss. I can’t stand waking alone, missing his hugs, needing his voice, and his safe presence. I need his stability, his wisdom, his gentleness. I just want him so badly it’s destroying me on a mental level I have no way of combatting. I feel like I’m suffocating without him, without them. So close yet so unreachable and seeing him does nothing to alleviate the despair of not being able to talk to him, touch him, or get close. It kills me to look at him, but not seeing him is just as bad.
More Kickass Werewolf Reads
Dive into our collection of free werewolf romance novels—where fierce Alphas, daring heroines, and heart-stopping twists await. Every story burns with forbidden desire, loyalty, and destiny. Don’t wait—here’s a world where love bites hard and nothing is stronger than the call of the mate.
Leave a Reply