Jesus Christ, Lorey. I thought something was actually happening to you. Don’t do that to me! Stop Crying!
The sharp alpha tone of dominance winds me and I instinctively obey. I choke, and then cough on a tear, that had been mid flow when he hit me with that crap. Instantly enraged as pain of my body shutting off my emotional response, momentarily winds me, forced out of a real heartfelt need to cry by a bossy asshole abusing his gift.
Don’t use that tone on me! Don’t tell me what to do!
I snap back, bristled in fury, forgetting myself as anger bursts forth, stunning me into immediate silence as I clasp a hand over my mouth, despite saying nothing verbally.
He’s not my mate anymore, but a dominant in our lands and talking back like that could get me seriously messed up if he saw fit. It’s disrespectful on so many levels. No one of my standing would ever, should ever, snark back at an Alpha.
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.
I backtrack like a total coward and start to whimper as tears begin to freshly fall all over again. A combination of my previous panic setting in and the sheer devastation of talking to him like this once more now that my faux pas has shaken sense into me. It hurts more than I can bear.
It doesn’t matter. Calm down, I’m sorry, I just needed you to stop… listen to me, Lorey. I knew about your eyes, remember. There’s nothing wrong with you. The Shaman, he’s been researching all this time. Just try not to let anyone see in the meantime, until I know what it means. There’ve been others, but none you will find in the history books. The Shaman doesn’t know why, but you have to keep it under wraps and stop freaking out. Do you hear me? You almost gave me epic heart failure coming through like that.
I wipe my face and try to pull myself together, exhaling heavily to steady myself and sitting upright forcefully. A little soothed by what he said, enough to rationalize and stop acting like a complete idiot. Bringing my attention to the fact that when he’s in my head, things feel less bad. My pain subsides enough to function with even this kind of connection to him.
I didn’t mean to project on you. I swear. I wasn’t trying to reach you; I know how things are between us.
I sound like a pathetic whiny child, and it just drives home how non-Luna I am.
This wasn’t you. We’re bonded. When you’re afraid to that extent, hurt, anything like that. I’ll still feel it, no matter what we do. Just try and be rational. Hold it together.
I guess it works both ways, not that big tough Colton Santo probably ever gets freaked out or scared. I doubt I’ll ever feel any extremes from him on my end, he’s way too mature and battle seasoned for any kind of hysterics.
What if I’m sick?
I pout petulantly, not really all that settled with his explanations and still mulling. Shaking now the shock is settling in and sniffing my mess away.
You’re not sick. I would know.
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