The walk back is quiet, and I can sense how tired Paige is. I want to offer to carry her, to let her rest, but I know she won’t appreciate it.
“I’m going to bed,” she says the moment we step through the door.
“Good night, Paige, you know where we are if you need anything,” I say, suddenly feeling like an awkward teen again.
I’d kissed her earlier, made progress with her. Now though, after the visit with Poppy, I feel like we’ve taken another step back.
“Good night,” Callen calls after her as she heads up the stairs.
She doesn’t respond, just waves a hand at us without even turning to give us a backward glance. I stand at the bottom of the stairs with my brother, both of us looking at the now empty staircase.
“Well…” Callen sighs, running a hand through his hair.
“I don’t know what changed. She was like a completely different person coming back, wasn’t she?”
“She sure was. Is this just a woman thing? A Paige thing? Or did we do something else to upset her?” Cal says, more to himself than me, as we walk towards the kitchen.
“What happened?” Parker asks as he comes to join us.
Callen tells Parker what happened with Poppy and about Paige’s sudden shift in mood.
“Maybe she’s just exhausted?” Parker offers.
I nod “I hope it’s just that.”
I’m not sure how much time passes, but it’s late. Parker went up to bed hours ago and Callen and I have sat in the living room in silence. I feel lost. I can’t go upstairs. I can’t bear to be so close to her and not sneak in and check on her, which she would hate. So instead, I sit here, wallowing in self-doubt and drowning in unanswered questions.
Eventually, I sprawl out on the couch. One leg hanging off as I stare up at the ceiling. Callen has spread out on the floor, his arm under his head, eyes half closed. We still haven’t spoken, but the silence between us is not uncomfortable. It’s the silence of two men, fighting an internal battle. Trying to resist our mate until she is ready for us.
I hear movement upstairs and strain my ears. I think it’s Paige. Maybe she is looking for a bathroom. Would I seem too desperate if I went out to meet her? Callen sits up, reminding me of a meerkat, and we share a look, both of us undecided on what we should do.
Before we can decide, Paige appears in the doorway. She is barefoot and wearing an oversized T-shirt that falls to her mid-thigh. Her hair is a mess of waves, and she looks as exhausted as I feel.
She hesitates in the doorway like she’s not sure if she should be here. Then her eyes lock with mine and something in her expression softens.
“Couldn’t sleep?” I ask in a hushed voice.
She shakes her head and pads across the room towards us. “Too many thoughts. Too much change.
She stops between us and then does something I don’t expect. She drops to sit on the floor, settling wrap around between us like she needs to be close to us both. Pulling her knees up to her chest, her arms wrap them as she leans her head back against the edge of the couch. She’s so close to my legs I could touch her with the smallest movement.
**Paige’s POV **
After hours of tossing and turning, I gave up trying to sleep. I’m not sure how I knew, but some strange instinct told me I’d find Callen and Ryder downstairs.
At the bottom of the steps, I turn to my left. The doorway to the living room is open, and I move to stand in the doorway, hesitating when I see them both there.
What am I doing?
This is such a bad idea, but if I can’t sleep, then I may as well spend the time getting more answers.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Ryder asks, and I shake my head.
“Too many thoughts. Too much change,” I say, cutting myself off before I launch into a full ramble, explaining why I can’t sleep even though I’m exhausted.
I move further into the room and sit on the floor, leaning against the couch. I’m so close to both brothers, just the slightest movement either way and we’d touch. It’s tempting, too tempting. I guess this is the part of the mate bond that Callen warned me I’d struggle to resit.
Callen sits up, coming to sit by me. He doesn’t crowd me, though. He leaves enough space to be respectful, even if it’s not what I want right now.
“We’re not the easiest bedtime story, huh?” He smirks.
“Not when it’s real, no,” I laugh quietly. “This feels more like a psychological thriller with too many plot twists, not the wolf-shifter romances I’ve read.”
They both chuckle softly, sounding so alike.
“I still don’t know what I’m doing,” I admit. “With any of this. With the two of you. This bond. It’s all so… big-
“You don’t have to know,” Callen says gently. “You just have to feel.”
“Feel what?”
“Whatever’s real,” Ryder answers. “Whatever you feel when you look at me. At us. That’s what matters.”
“And what if it’s only fear that I feel?” I ask.
“If it’s the right kind of fear, then that’s a good start,” Callen says.
I frown at him. “How is that a good place to start?”
“Because,” he says, inching closer. “You have to care to fear. You are not scared we will physically hurt you, you are scared we might break your heart, which means you care enough for it to be broken.”
“We are just as scared, Paige,” Ryder adds.
I close my eyes for a moment, processing their words. They are right. I am not scared of them, not really They may be dangerous, but I know deep down, they would never hurt me. I’m scared that I’ll fall for them, that I’ll end up heartbroken and alone. Having two of them feels like double the risk. Double the pain if this doesn’t work out
“How does this work?” I ask, motioning between the three of us.
“How ever you want it to work, Ryder says. “There are no real rules to how a polyamorous relationship works except the ones we make. If you want two separate relationships, splitting time with each of us, then that’s fine.”
“Or.” Callen hums, his voice low. “If you want us both at the same time, that’s fine, too.”
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