“No.” I walked away, back toward our lodgings, where I could strategize with the males in peace before the challenge. Try to drown out the awful reality that my new mate might be into how I made her feel, but she still didn’t see me as a capable mate and alpha to protect her or our future. But I didn’t make it five steps before a searing pain in my face brought me to my knees.
A choked grunt left me as I held my scar, bending forward almost until my face was in the grass as I grappled with the agony that was wringing me inside out. It felt like being caught midshift, and it was excruciating.
“Lucien!” Olivia was at my side in an instant, Brielle on my other, cool omega magic flooding me as soon as Bri put her hand on the back of my neck.
But it did nothing to stop the onslaught.
Claws grew from my fingertips, hair sprouted along the backs of my arms as my wolf fought for control, fought for vengeance, even though there were no enemies here for him to attack. It was the broken bond, and nothing I could do would stop it.
I stayed frozen, unable to stop the change. All I could do was exert vicious control over my muscles, force myself to stillness so I couldn’t harm anyone again.
Visions of Olivia’s bloody face haunted me, and I refused to hurt her a second time. Kane knelt in front of me.
“Is the healing power working?” he asked.
I couldn’t answer, but Brielle murmured something too softly for me to hear in response.
“Leave us. Elodie and Galyna, take the females back to our rooms and guard them. I don’t think the centaurs are up to anything shady, but we’re on neutral territory here, not friendly.” Kane’s order resonated with Alpha dominance.
“I don’t want to leave him,” Olivia argued anyway, closing her hand over mine where it was fisted in the grass. “I can help him.”
There was a long pause, but Kane finally agreed. I heard the receding footsteps as the females left, and silence surrounded us once again.
Olivia and Kane stayed there with me on the ground, silent but supportive. Slowly, the pain began to recede, and I regained a measure of control.
As I came back to myself, I felt Kane’s power through the pack bond, strong and steady, radiating into my chest like an anchor. A way to pull myself back to safe harbor.
When the last of the attack had left my system, I sat upright, every corner of my body protesting even the simple movement.
“Thank the Goddess,” Olivia whispered, searching my eyes and apparently pleased with whatever she saw in them. She tried to throw her arms around me, but I stopped her, hands on her shoulders. “You should go. Let Gael take you to wait with the other women.”
“But you need me. I can help. This is why you can’t accept this challenge.”
“That’s what you don’t understand, hellcat. I’ve already accepted this challenge. And that’s why I need you to go.” I stroked her cheek once with my thumb, then turned and gestured for Gael.
“Come on, Olivia. I know the others are worried. Leigh is frantic in our bond.” Gael tapped his chest, no doubt where he felt his mate’s emotions. When he gently took her by the hand, I couldn’t meet her accusing gaze as he pulled her away.
If this was the last time I ever saw her, I didn’t want to remember her looking at me like that.Olivia
Ifumed in silence as Gael and I walked back to the guest residences. Every line of Lucien’s body had been screaming that he knew it was dangerous, knew it was risky, but still, he was stubbornly determined to throw himself into certain danger.
And then, he’d sent me away, packed me off like so much luggage he didn’t need. He may as well have shoved me in the attic and slammed the trapdoor shut.
The message was clear. Buzz off.
“They’re all in our room, and they want to see you.” Gael led me to a door farther down the row and opened it politely.
It was all polite avoidance with him, as if he were embarrassed for me. For us. We just kept screwing this relationship up any time we had a tiny bit of progress, and it was humiliating.
But as I walked into the room full of concerned women, all I could feel was fury. That and worry at his stubborn pride, his unwillingness to even consider a different path.
“Are you okay?” Fiona asked, wrapping me in a quick hug before pulling back to study me.
“Not even a little bit.”
“Do you want to talk about it? Eat ice cream? Scream at the heavens?” she offered, and all I had was a pathetic shrug for a response.
“BD, Reedsy dear, I think you two might want to wait outside for this conversation. We need a testosterone-free zone for a little while.” Leigh made shooing gestures at the men, who rolled their eyes but knew better than to argue with a pregnant she-wolf.
When the door clicked behind them, Galyna pressed a pint of ice cream and a spoon into my hand, not even bothering with a bowl. She had her own in hand, so clearly, this was a group sugar-up-and-vent session. I followed her to the area in front of the window, where the other women had all settled into a circle, some on the bed, some on the floor, Leigh in the chair.
I took a bite before saying anything else, letting the sweet, creamy bite melt and giving myself a moment to gather my thoughts.
“You asked me before what I want, Fiona, but what I want is for him to stop being stupid and realize that he shouldn’t do this. But apparently that’s not an option.” I stabbed my ice cream with the spoon, definitely not imagining a giant, assholishly gleeful centaur’s face as I did so.
“Oli, you know I love you, right? We all do. But I have to say something, and I don’t think you’re going to like it.” Elodie looked nervous, and that made me nervous right along with her.
My throat tightened, and I was suddenly at a loss for words. I nodded stiffly for her to spit it out.
“I don’t think you were right to ask him not to take the challenge. I don’t blame you for being worried or upset, but if they’d challenged me, I wouldn’t have backed down either. I’m a fighter. It’s in my blood. My identity. And an alpha male? They’re no different. It’s in their nature to protect. Backing down from a challenge like that… I don’t think any of those males would have been capable of it.”
“So, I’m supposed to just watch him go off and do something reckless when he’s still having attacks?”
“I’m not saying that. You can express your feelings, you can tell him you’re scared or worried or don’t want him to be hurt, but…”
“But what?”
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