No one says a word the entire way back to Moon Co. Even Madi, who usually ignores my dictates if she decides they’re illogical, stands quietly beside me on the elevator ride up to our floor.
Dammit.
I lost control. I showed Aiden my wolf.
What a colossal fuckup. I honestly don’t know why I felt it important to bring Madison to the board meeting, but I did. Shifters rely on their instincts, and mine told me to bring her.
But now Aiden thinks he knows something.
My eyes must have changed color when I faced him. My wolf thought Madison was in danger and went nuts to protect her.
This situation with her is getting out of hand. I’ve been pretending it’s under control. Or that there isn’t actually a situation, but after this morning’s fiasco, I can’t deny it.
Somehow, it feels like another rending of my soul in two directions. Growing up, my love and loyalties were divided. We belonged to our father. We bore his name, were members of his pack. We loved him, and he loved us, but he demanded our absolute loyalty. Drilled into us the weight of the mantle we must wear as his heirs. Me, as his only son and the future alpha of the pack, especially.
But once a week, our mother was allowed to visit. We adored her-she was beautiful, loving, kind. Soft and sweet. She brought us gifts and made us laugh. That one day a week, she showered us with love and attention, except for the hour or so when my father took her upstairs and claimed her.
They hated each other, but the sex kept my father alive. It was part of the bargain struck between the two packs when it became apparent they were fated mates. He kept the young she bore. They kept her.
It’s not the same with Madi-she doesn’t belong to an enemy pack, but she also doesn’t belong to our world. I want her, same as I wanted my mother full-time, but I can’t claim her. I need to mate an alpha she-wolf to secure the throne. Then again, who can predict how these things will work? It’s not like a royal bloodline where the son automatically inherits. It’s whichever wolf is the most alpha of the pack. Normally, he comes from the same bloodline as the previous alpha, but it doesn’t have to be a son. It could be a nephew. Auggie is a strong and smart wolf. He might end up being alpha regardless of who I mate. Or Scarlett might bear the future alpha of the Blackthroat pack when she finds her fated mate.
All I know is that every day that goes by without claiming Madi, I go a little more mad.
I glance over at my lovely assistant. This is the first time I’ve even allowed my thinking to go this far. The first time I’ve truly examined the possibilities and ramifications of claiming her. It still seems impossible.
We step off the elevator, and I allow her to precede me. “In my office, please,” I murmur.
She darts a glance over her shoulder but obeys, walking ahead and waiting for me to unlock the door and remove my coat and suit jacket.
She shrugs off her coat, hangs it beside mine and waits. Somehow she knows to match me where I am. She’s not businesslike or flirty. She’s not her usual efficient self, zipping in to take care of my needs. She’s simply available.
Because she’s our mate, my wolf whispers.
She knows what you need, even when you don’t.
I walk to my desk. My wolf is right, I don’t even know what I need now. It’s not the hot, aggressive fuck I’ve been demanding from Madison nearly every morning since Thanksgiving.
I just need her. I require her scent to calm me and soothe the rage I have on lockdown beneath my breastbone. I half-sit on my desk and reach for her, spinning her, so her back comes to my chest, my hand cradling the side of her face. I pull her hair to my nose and inhale deeply.
For a long moment, I don’t move. I just let her scent fill my nostrils, trying to find my way back to the alpha I’m supposed to be. The one who didn’t get screwed out of a large part of his fortune by his own mother. Who didn’t lose his father before he was ready to wear the crown.
The alpha who knows what to do next. About Madison. About the Adalwulfs. About my mother.
“Are we cuddling?” Madison does her usual deflection anytime things get too intimate.
I cover her mouth with my hand, so she can’t speak again. She doesn’t fight it. She loves the dominance. I know because the scent of her arousal hits my nostrils like a heady aphrodisiac.
I slide my hand down her belly, pulling up the skirt of her dress to get inside her panties. Keeping one hand firmly clamped over her mouth, I take my time exploring her soft folds. Her sweet honey soaks my fingers, and I spread it up through her pleats, coating her clit and making her hips writhe to meet my touch.
I curl two fingers inside her. The angle makes it impossible to get them deep, but I grind the heel of my palm over her clit as I fuck her. She moans and whimpers, licking the hand over her mouth, biting it, taking my thumb into her mouth and sucking it like she’s giving me a blowjob. I bring her easily to climax, but still don’t have that aggressive urge to bend her over and pound into her, the way I usually do.
But my wolf is right-she knows what I need.
When I release her, she turns and wraps her arms around my neck, reaching up on her tiptoes to kiss my jaw, my neck. She’s usually the passive one. I’m the one who takes. Directs. Decides. But she’s the aggressor this time. She unbuttons my trousers as she propels me backward to sit in my chair. My dick is already hard from getting her off, so she frees it from the confines of my briefs and fists the base, pulling hard.
I lean back to enjoy, fascinated by our role reversal. By Madi working to please me. She kneels and takes me into her mouth, swirling her tongue along the underside, teasing the cleft where head meets shaft.
My breath rasps in. Some of the heaviness around me moves. It doesn’t dispel, but it shifts around. I register pleasure along with the emotional shitstorm.
Madison works my cock in her mouth for a few minutes, getting me harder than stone, then she rises up, shimmies out of her panties and straddles my waist. “Is this okay?”
“Uh, no, Windows. It’s horrible,” I say drily. I fist my cock to hold it steady for her as she rises up and lowers her hips down over it. “I hate having my cock sucked and then ridden by my beautiful assistant.”
I slide my hands under her skirt and grip her bare ass with both hands, pulling her down and forward to take me fully. She’s wetter than a slip ‘n slide, gliding over me with mad purpose. She grinds her clit down on the base of my cock as I direct the movement, pulling her forward and back.
I watch her lovely face contort with pleasure, but even as her mouth opens and her nostrils flare, she’s studying me right back. I know what she must see-the darkness in me. The shadows and ghosts and pain. I still feel removed from it all. Going to that meeting meant putting my rage under lock and key, so I withdrew.
This brings me back. Being inside her. Having her scent wrap around me. Being near her. This must be the reason I asked her to come along today. On some level, I knew she was the only one who could keep me sane.
Remind me what’s important.
But the cost was way too high. Aiden knowing she’s my mate? It’s disastrous.
I push those thoughts away and surrender to the moment. Changing the direction and rhythm, I lift and lower Madison over me, making her tits bounce in the glorious window I love to hate.
I let out a groan. The sound excites her. She steadies herself with one hand on my shoulder and uses the other to squeeze her own breast. I watch in total fascination. It’s enough. Enough distraction from my thoughts to pull me into the moment.
“Come for me, Madi,” I murmur.
I used her preferred name again. It slips out in my moments of weakness, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t need to hold anything over her right now. There’s no power struggle today. I’m just a broken man with a wolf on the brink of madness.
She nods. “Yeah.” She’s breathless, tits bouncing in my face, her soft thighs galloping over my lap.
I grip her ass harder and propel her up and down with more momentum until I find my peak. “Now, Windows.”
She comes on command, like the bratty but still obedient little assistant she is.
I groan as I come inside her, and she squeezes and milks my cock. We stay glued together, our breath mingling until it slows.
“Thanks,” I say softly as I lift her off and pat her hip, handing her a couple tissues.
As she puts herself together, I catch her watching me, still attentive to my needs. “Do you need anything? What can I do?”
I shake my head. “You can go.”
“I’m canceling your appointments this afternoon.”
“No. You don’t have to.” I’m an alpha wolf. I don’t shirk my responsibilities.
“I’m clearing the schedule. My job is to have your back, and you need time alone this afternoon.”
A sense of relief washes over me at having her voice the obvious truth. Time alone is definitely what I need.
She stands at the door, fingers wrapped around the door handle without opening it. Despite her determined declaration, she’s waiting for my agreement.
“Thank you, Madi.”
She shoots me another surprised glance, her expression softening. Something that resembles longing bleeds through before she turns away to hide it.
When she shuts the door, I lean my head back against the chair and groan.
Fuck.
Something needs to be done about Madison. I can’t go on like this much longer. Especially now that Aiden knows.
He could turn my pack against me by the weekend, if I don’t take command of the situation and act like a fucking alpha.
I’m just not sure I can do what it would take to be that leader.
To get rid of Madi.
Mate a suitable alpha she-wolf.
Prove I’m worthy of my father’s legacy.
I’m not sure I even want to keep the pack if it means letting go of the female I’m starting to love.
* * *
Madi
I leave Blackthroat’s office on trembling legs.
Whatever I thought of the man, it all changed today. He’s so much more than the hardened, heartless asshole I once believed him to be, and today I glimpsed what made him that way. The grief and destruction he’s faced. The ghosts that haunt him.
No man without a heart would suffer as deeply as I saw him suffer today. And despite my reluctance to get close to the man, this did it.
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to take that pain from him if I could.
I cancel all his calls and clear his schedule for the rest of the day. It’s a small gesture, but it’s one thing I can do to lighten the load from his shoulders.
I also decide to send an email to Eleanor Harrington. Not because I want to leave Moon Co-just to have options. I’m a practical person who likes to have backup plans. Following up with a friendly email won’t hurt anything.
When I’m finished, I check in with the HR department about the Christmas party Friday night to make sure they have everything under control. We’ve rented a banquet hall at The Four Seasons and booked a live band. It will be a formal event with an open bar, lots of prizes, games, and celebrations. We wanted it to be something employees look forward to every year, not an awkward event they have to suffer through.
My phone rings with a number I immediately recognize. I pick up.
“Hi sweetheart, it’s Catherine Adalwulf. Do you have a few minutes to chat?”
I glance toward Brick’s shut door. “Actually, yes. This is a good time for me.”
“Is Brick there?”
I don’t answer her question because it would be inappropriate for me to share any personal information related to my boss with anyone who calls, even his mother. “What can I do for you?” I ask politely instead.
“Madi, I’ll be frank with you. You saw today how awful things are between my side of the family and my children.”
“Yes.”
“Brick blames me for the takeover, and I’ve never had a chance to explain what really happened. He won’t take my calls. He won’t meet with me. He wouldn’t speak to me at Thanksgiving. I’ve tried writing letters, but they go unanswered. I have to assume he doesn’t read them. I’m just wondering…sweetheart, I want to make things right with him. I want to have a chance to heal this wound between us, so we can hopefully find forgiveness and form some kind of relationship together going forward. I’m not out to hurt him. I hope you believe that.”
I make a non-committal sound. I’m the type who reserves judgment, but I do tend to believe her. Of course, it’s not my place to take sides or judge anyone for anything that happened in their past. This is none of my business. I’m just the assistant. Or so I keep trying to believe.
“I’m not asking you to advocate for me or take my side in any way. I just want to get Brick alone for fifteen or twenty minutes. I haven’t been able to do that in all the years since his father died.”
“I see.” Now I know exactly where this is going.
“Madi, is there any way you could arrange something? I know you’re in charge of his schedule. He wouldn’t agree to meet with me, but could you set up an appointment he won’t question? He will refuse it if he knows it’s me, so it would have to be under the radar.”
Tension tugs in my solar plexus. I do want to help her, actually. Well, no, I want to help Blackthroat, and in this case, that might mean going against his wishes. She’s right about the situation needing to be healed. My boss is in pain, and if a meeting with his mom could help stop his suffering, then I should help make it happen. My job is to make his life easier. Wouldn’t it be easier if he healed his relationship with his mother?
Ugh. I’m not sure. This is a slippery slope.
I click open Blackthroat’s electronic calendar and scan through his appointments for the week.
“He’s out of the office for an appointment Monday. You could come here and wait in his office to talk to him when he gets back.”
“Oh, honey, that would be great.” Relief and appreciation sound in her voice.
“Okay, be here around one o’clock.”
“I will. Thank you Madi.”
I hang up and a coil of anxiety twists behind my belly button.
I hope I didn’t just make a huge mistake.
Billy
I drive to Williamsburg, the Brooklyn neighborhood where Madison Evans lives, and find valet parking in a hotel nearby. The private investigators I hired gave me the full scoop on her, including a dossier on her roommate, Aubrey Cook. The two apparently grew up in the same apartment building in Jersey.
It’s Aubrey I’m hunting down today. There’s not a logical reason-nothing I think I can glean from her that my private investigators probably couldn’t ferret out. But my instincts told me to visit her in person, and a wolf trusts his instincts.
I stare at the photo of a beautiful young woman with dark skin and a froth of wild brown curls highlighted in gold and crimson. Her skin is smooth, her cheekbones high, and her pierced nose is adorned with a thin gold hoop. She’s pleasing to the eye, but I hate everything about her. I can just tell she’s a screaming liberal. She has a wild and carefree look that puts my teeth on edge. The photo was taken from her social media, and in it, she’s wearing a pair of cut-off jean shorts and a crop top that reads, “Eat the Rich.” As if by rejecting money, she might actually hold some kind of power, when of course, the opposite is always true.
I leave the folder with her information in the car, along with my necktie, and walk to La R?sistance, the cafe where she’ll be working this evening.
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