The thought slams into me with terrifying clarity.
Oh, hell… I want both of them.
My breath comes faster now, lips parted as I back away from the window. Forcing myself to turn away with my heart racing.
This changes everything. Not just what I know about them, because I already kind of knew there was something between them, but what I know about myself.
I pace the bedroom like a caged animal. My thoughts are loud, too loud. Crashing over each other, trying to make sense of what I felt when I saw them. press the heels of my hands into my eyes and blow out a shaky breath.
It wasn’t just a kiss. It was everything.
The way Callen touched him, the way Remy changed the moment he did. It was as if Callen drained all of
Remy’s anger and pain with just that contact. I don’t know why, but it was beautiful to witness. To see the control that Callen has over him: How he commanded Remy so easily.
How could I possibly feel jealous or betrayed over something that looked so right?
They were like a fire, and I want to step closer to their heat.
I run a hand through my still-damp hair and sink onto the edge of the bed, my elbows on my knees, trying to quiet the ache that’s blooming low and hot in my belly.
Maybe I’m just broken. Too starved for affection, too tangled up in all this wolf-bond madness to know what’s real anymore. Maybe it’s just the bond. Some trick of nature.
Except it doesn’t feel like a trick. And that scares me,
I should confront them. Demand answers. Demand space, maybe?
But I know I’ll look at Callen and lose the strength to be angry, and if I look at Remy right now… I honestly don’t know what I’ll do.
I already have two mates. Two mates I’m still not 100% sure about, but that I can’t seem to resist. I can’t be fantasising about another man. Especially not one that has treated me the way Remy has.
I know why he hates me. If it wasn’t clear before, it’s undeniable now.
Footsteps on the stairs startle me. I scrub at my eyes quickly, willing my expression into something close to normal as I hear Jaxon’s familiar padding footsteps accompanied by heavier ones behind him.
“Mummy?” he calls, voice cheerful and sweet. “I’m done with the bath!”
I stand quickly, wiping my clammy palms on my jeans just as the door swings open. Jaxon barges into the room, his damp hair sticking up at odd angles and wrapped in a towel that almost drowns him. Ryder follows, a wet t-shirt clinging to his chest. There’s a look about him, a softness in his eyes, like he’s still caught in whatever father and son moment they just shared.
“Sorry,” Ryder says, gesturing to Jax. “He wouldn’t wait. Insisted he had to come and tell you everything.”
“I was swimming!” Jaxon grins, eyes sparkling. “And dad didn’t get any shampoo in my eyes.”
A breathy laugh escapes me, and for a second, the confusion eases. I walk over and kneel to ruffle his hair.
“Sounds like you had fun.”
He nods, with a huge grin on his face, clutching the towel tighter as I reach into our bag for his clothes. My fingers fumble slightly, not from the task, but from the chaos of emotions still churning inside me.
I glance up at Ryder. “Hey… um, I was thinking.”
“That sounds dangerous.” He smirks.
“Would you maybe want to come back to mine? Just for a few hours. Before school. Jax has some of his toys there, and I thought maybe it’d be nice for the two of you to hang out without everyone else around.”
Ryder hesitates. I can tell it’s not out of reluctance, but because he’s trying to read between the lines. His gaze narrows slightly, as if searching for the real reason behind the offer.
“I just think it might be… easier,” I add quickly, my voice too light. “Less distraction. Just you and him.”
Ryder tilts his head, then nods. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
“Yay!” Jaxon cheers. “Can we play football in the garden?”
“You can do whatever you want,” I say, forcing a smile as I rise to my feet. “Let’s get you dressed, little man.”
He races off toward the pile of clothes I’ve just put on the bed, leaving me alone with Ryder again for a moment. He watches me carefully, arms folded over his chest.
“Are you okay?” he asks quietly.
I nod. “Yeah. Just… a lot on my mind.”
His eyes linger on mine for a second longer, but he doesn’t press. He just steps around me to help Jaxon with his shirt, giving me space I don’t deserve.
I grab my bag with shaky fingers and head downstairs. The house is too quiet again, too still. I keep seeing them behind my eyelids. Callen’s hands on Remy, Remy’s head tipping back. That kiss… My skin flushes all over again.
( Chaptic30
I need space. I need to think
By the time Jaxon comes bounding down the stairs fully dressed, I’m about ready to run out of here. Ryder grabs Jaxon’s shoes and ruffles his hair as we move toward the door.
“Got everything?” I ask, voice light, but my heart pounds harder with every step closer to the exit.
Jaxon nods, and Ryder opens the door.
They’re there.
Callen and Remy. Just outside, walking toward the porch like they’d never kissed like that. Like they hadn’t scrambled my brain and my heart with a single moment under the trees.
They were in the trees at the back, so why are they at the front now?
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