Why is fate doing this to me right now?
Callen stops short when he sees me. His eyes go from my face to the bag in my hand, to Jaxon bouncing beside me, and then finally to Ryder, who stands close behind me.
His jaw tightens. Barely, but I see it.
“Going somewhere?” he asks, voice low.
I meet his eyes and force myself to stay still. “Just home. Jax wants some of his toys before school.”
Remy’s gaze flickers to mine, then to Ryder, then back. He says nothing, but his fingers twitch, like they want to reach for Callen, but he doesn’t allow them to make contact.
Jaxon runs to Callen, wrapping his arms around him for a hug and Callen strokes his head affectionately. but his eyes are on me. He studies me, seeing the tension I can’t hide.
I feel the weight of his gaze on me. This isn’t just about toys, and he knows it, but he doesn’t call me out. He doesn’t say anything more. He just nods once, jaw clenched tight, and steps aside so we can pass.
Jax runs back to Ryder, taking his hand, and I don’t look back. I can’t. Not when I feel them both burning holes in my back. Not when that kiss still burns behind my eyelids, and, worst of all, I desperately want to see it again. Want to be a part of it, of them.
Lord help me.
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(( Cluster 31
**Paige’s POV ** of the walk home
I don’t remember most of the walk home.
Ryder had shown Jax interesting things in the woods. A rabbit burrow and mushrooms that he should never touch, while Jaxon chattered about his bath toys and how many trucks he can fit in his backpack. I had barely taken half their conversations in because my head was somewhere else entirely.
Somewhere between Callen and Remy.
It’s replaying the way Remy tilted his face to the sun and let himself be kissed like it was the only thing keeping him alive.
I swallow down the lump in my throat as we walk up the path to my door. The house looks the same, small and warm and familiar, but today it feels like a hiding place. Or a cage… maybe both.
Jaxon bolts inside as soon as I unlock the door, flinging his shoes off and yelling. “I’m getting the red truck!” over his shoulder, Ryder follows him in with a laugh, and I trail after, slower.
I should feel comfortable here. This is my space. But it’s not the escape I’d thought, because I can’t shake that image of Callen and Remy.
I lean against the kitchen counter, trying to breathe.
I know it wasn’t just about s*x for them. If it were, I could maybe write it off. Maybe pretend it was some primal wolf thing, some leftover need. But it wasn’t. Not with the way they looked at each other. Not with the way I looked at them.
I rub a hand down my face and close my eyes. God, I’m a mess.
“Hey.” Ryder’s voice is soft as he enters the kitchen. “Shall I make you some tea?”
I nod without answering. He moves around like he’s been here a hundred times. It’s too easy, too domestic, and it makes something inside me ache even more.
I watch Jaxon through the open door with a smile as he spreads his toys across the living room floor like he’s building a fortress. Seeing him happy is the best medicine for anything.
“I know something’s up,” Ryder says eventually, placing a mug in front of me and standing across from me.
I wrap my hands around the warm cup but don’t drink. “It’s nothing.” I lie, not even trying to make it convincing
He doesn’t push, but his silence says enough.
I wanted to come here to get space, to escape the confusion clawing through me. Which was pointless, because I’ve brought it with me. It’s sitting in my gut, spinning around my mind and making me question myself.
Chapter
I want to to hate them. I want to scream, demand why no one warned me what it would feel like to be caught between so many people, so many new feelings. I feel like I’m unraveling thread by thread, revealing at different person to who I thought I was. I want to be just one thing. One person. With one heart, but I’m not.
My pulse kicks up again, and I press a hand to my forehead.
I think about the way Callen kissed me, firm and certain, and then the way he kissed Remy, just as hungry, just as full of something real and dangerous and consuming. The two of them together didn’t feel like a betrayal, it felt like an awakening.
What does it say that I didn’t want to pull them apart… I wanted to join them?
Just the thought of doing that causes a quiet whimper to slip from my throat before I can stop it. I cover it with a sip of tea, my fingers trembling against the mug.
Ryder watches me, his expression unreadable.
“You don’t have to talk,” he says gently. “But I’m here. If you want to.”
That makes me feel worse. He’s trying so hard, giving me space to process what is happening whilst letting me know he’s here. Poor guy is probably worried I’m having doubts about him and Callen, but the truth is, I don’t know what I want right now. I don’t know who I want. Who I’m allowed to want.
Am I even me anymore? Or just some girl whose choices are being rewritten by fate and biology.
I have two mates already. One who left me. One I barely know. Is there now a third? Could this be what I’m feeling? Is it even possible?
This mate bond thing is so messy and I don’t understand it. I don’t know how much of what I feel is real and how much is some magical wolf bond.
After last night, I had started to accept that it could actually work. That I could find my place between Ryder and Callen.
But after what I’d seen this morning, I don’t know where I fit in this story anymore.
All I know is that I’m already in too deep… and it’s only going to get harder from here.
A knock at the door has my heart racing.
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