I feel like my hatred could melt steel, with the heat radiating from my fiery depths and I spin hysterically, ready to demolish my attacker. Body mid turn in furious speed when I realize he is on the other side of the room from me and looking at me like I have two heads. A good twelve feet away at the least and crouching down, panting heavily, as though he too is recovering.
“Woah, woah. Lorey, calm down, I didn’t do anything. Stop and breathe. Take a moment before you start again!” He jumps to his feet, hyperaware of my sudden rise. His palms up, facing me, flat out and he is completely naked, as am I, which only pushes me to heights of venomous hatred.
Claws fully extend as do my teeth and my body shudders as it begins to transform around me, ready to fight him and maim him until this pain inside of my heart starts to ebb. I’m crushed inside, as though my soul is ripped to shreds and hanging around my organs like unwanted trash on the wind. I’ve never felt this much aggression or blood lust, and I have him fully in my sights. My body tingling all over even though I have no memory of what he has put me through, but enough to know what he intended.
“What did you do to me? Why would you do that to me?” I scream at him, my voice pitched in raw, raspy, hysteria, but he raises his hands higher and pleads with me mentally. His eyes softening, with no attempt to turn, as he watches me at a distance.
Please stop and listen. Let me explain. I haven’t, and wouldn’t, do that to you.
He coaxes gently.
You raped me!!
I mentally scream back at him, not seeing anything around me anymore, just the pulsing beat of the vein in his throat as I hone in and know where I’ll be aiming with my take down bite, I don’t care if it ends us both. I’ll kill him for defiling me, destroying my trust in him, ravaging my heart and soul this way.
He shakes his head, looking completely devastated and disheveled. Radiating so many emotions my way but I battle them back, like bouncing tennis balls off a glass wall.
NO, I did not! I never intended to either. Lorey, please, sit… I’ll stay here, you stay there, and just let me talk. I need you to calm down and listen. Think. Remember.
I’m breathing so heavily my chest is heaving and I can’t calm down. Especially not when he’s telling me to. He has no right; he can’t be serious with this shit after what he just did. He broke the trust, he broke us, he ruined the bond, and nothing will fix that.
My body is on fire, my blood like molten lava in my veins and I can already tell I’ve turned enough to heal the marks he made on my body because there is no pain and only dried blood. In fact, my complete lack of injury or any sort of niggling physical hurt, tell me I already turned, but I don’t know how if I was unconscious, or if that’s even possible if you’re not lucid. I shake it away and glare hatefully, focusing all my rage on his face.
I hate him so much I can almost taste it. I’ll never let him touch me again or come near me. I’ll rip his throat out if he tries. He’s disgusting and vile to me now and not who I thought he was. An abuser, unworthy as a leader; not worthy as a mate, as an alpha, and not as a lycanthrope.
“What did you do? Stop lying” It’s a hiss through a sob, a heartbreaking wail of betrayal, a howl from my wounded wolf and I’m completely desolate. I don’t believe him; about what he says he didn’t do because I don’t know. I blacked out while he was on top of me, doing things…. he had no intention of stopping. He said it… He commanded me. He tried to immobilize me so he could finish the deed.
“I had to make you snap. I told you it’s what I intended. And you did. It worked……You’re amazing…… your gift, baby, it’s fucking perfect.” There’s a moment of joy followed by a frown as he realizes I am not sharing in his celebrations or relaxing from my stance. Instead I blanche at him in stupefied silence. My brain having a moment and I literally think he might be some kind of sociopath, in denial about what he just did to me…or tried to…or… I don’t even know anymore.
“What are you talking about? I blacked out! How would I fucking do anything except lay there and succumb?” another sobbing wail, and Colton’s face completely drops, obvious regret written all over him and the overpowering sense of pain waving my way. I can feel him trying to tell me this isn’t how it seems, by using his emotion instead of words. I’m weakening as adrenalin wains, but I won’t relent, and try hard to brick up my wall once more, to keep him out.
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