After a minute, I head back into the kitchen, trying to act normal, like I haven’t just been losing my mind in the bathroom.
Ryder is crouched on the floor, helping Jaxon attach Lego pieces to his fortress, and Parker is on one of the kitchen chairs..
“I’m sorry,” I say. “For being weird.”
“You’re not,” Parker shrugs. “You’re overwhelmed. Anyone would be.”
His voice is gentle. Too gentle. It makes me want to cry.
I don’t know what it is about Parker, this man I barely know, but he makes me want to confess everything.
He feels like a safe person to confide in who will never judge me.
“I don’t know who I’m supposed to be in all this,” I admit. “It’s like I woke up in a life I don’t recognise anymore, and everyone else already knows the rules.”
“You don’t have to do it all at once,” he says, “and you don’t have to do it alone.”
I glance up at him and something in his eyes makes me want to go to him. To have him hold me and tell me everything is okay and what I’m feeling is totally normal. Because this is all too much and not enough all the same time.
Do you think Paige will spiral until she snaps, or do you think she will get it together?
Paige’s POV **
Parker’s words soothe something inside me.
I nod slowly, blinking back the tears behind my eyes. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“Then don’t.” Parker’s voice is calm, solid. “Start later. Right now, just be here.”
I glance toward the living room. Jaxon’s laughter floats out, and Ryder’s amused voice follows. That should be enough for me. It is enough, but then I glance back at Parker, and there’s this current between us. A quiet hum. Not loud or overwhelming like it is with Callen or Ryder, but it’s no less real.
You have this way of saying the right thing,” I murmur, part accusing, but mostly grateful.
He shrugs. “Comes with the territory.”
“What territory is that?” I ask, my voice soft.
His eyes linger on mine a little too long. “The one where I care.”
It’s too much. I look away. I can’t do this. I can’t. But that warmth in my chest says otherwise. That flutter of recognition I’ve felt around all of them that speaks of something more.
I turn back to the counter, gripping it like an anchor. “Don’t.”
“I’m not doing anything,” he says, and I think he means it.
That’s the worst part. I don’t think he is trying anything, and still… I feel it. I feel him.
“need to figure out what’s real,” I whisper. “I feel like I’m breaking apart.”
He doesn’t answer right away. When he does, his voice is low. “I think you’re stronger than you know, Paige, and no one expects you to be unbreakable.”
I don’t realise I’m crying until a tear splashes onto the counter. I wipe it away before anyone else can see and draw in a breath. ver seen him, and that’s because of
Behind me, the pleasant sounds of Ryder and Jaxon filter through the haze of my spiralling thoughts. Jaxon sounds like a different child already. He’s happier than I’ve these men, his pack I wish it was that easy for me, too.
I turn to face Parker again, and this time, I let the silence hang as I really look at him. He doesn’t look away, and neither do I
“Mummy, please can I have a drink?” Jaxon calls, snapping me out of whatever was just happening between me and Parker
“Yes, milk or juice?” I ask, forcing my voice to be light.
“Milk please,” he chimes.
??/p>
I turn my back on Parker to get Jaxon’s no-spill cup. The last thing I need is a milk spill.
“Here you go, baby,” I smile down at Jax, and he takes the cup from me with a whispered, “Thank you,” and mumbles something about not being a baby.
“Do you want anything?” ask Rye.
He looks up at me from his place on the floor and I feel like he’s studying me.
“No, thanks,” he finally says, shaking his head.
When I walk back into the kitchen, Parker shifts, resting his forearms on his knees, his gaze flicking toward the hallway before sliding back to me.
“Remy said you were upset this morning,” he says cautiously.
I wince. “I didn’t mean to snap at him. He caught me off guard, or on guard, I guess.
Parker’s eyes stay on mine. “What happened?”
“He tried to talk to me and I thought he was messing with me, so I said some things I shouldn’t. I didn’t even give him a chance,” I admit.
He nods and exhales through his nose. “Remy’s stronger than you think, but he’s not invincible. None of us are. He’s not been very welcoming towards you, and it’s understandable you’d not trust him yet.”
I nod, unsure what else to say, and then there’s a pause, heavy but not uncomfortable. He straightens with a sigh, glancing at the time on his phone before he stands.
“I should go. I’ve got patrol duty soon, and Remy will never let me live it down if I’m late again.” His tone is light and teasing, but there’s something else in it, like he doesn’t really want to leave.
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