It had been so long since I last heard his voice; I couldn’t remember exactly the last time when I did. True, a lot of videos of his speeches were uploaded on the Internet, but I resisted the urge to watch or even listen any of them. I feared control would be out of my grasp-all because I missed him. All of this was for him, and I couldn’t risk everything just because of some silly emotion.
Just hearing his voice even for a few seconds somehow eradicated the phantom of longing that was haunting me. The low rumble of his voice brought satisfaction to my being. Yet, as quick as contentment settled within me, it was replaced with striking loneliness.
Reality impinged me with the painful truth that Rufus had lost his memories. To prevent similar tragedies from happening, I had to keep myself from suddenly becoming too familiar with him and stay at an arm’s length. The thought wrung my writhing heart until breathing became painful.
I lightly hit my forehead against the wall, as if that would stop my tears from bursting. I had to remind myself about what had happened. Still, I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by this surge of emotions.
When a tear was threatening to fall from my eye, a pair of hands gently tugged the hem of my dress. I turned my head to see through my teary eyes a confused Beryl and Arron, standing behind me.
“Mommy’s crying.” Beryl reached out her chubby hand and wiped the gushing tears from the corners of my eyes. Then her mouth twitched downwards, her nose turning red. “Mom, please don’t cry. Seeing you like that makes me want to cry too.”
Arron’s eyes started to mirror Beryl’s glassy eyes. Misery engulfed me seeing these precious kids looking so vulnerable.
I immediately tried hard to stop more tears from escaping my eyes and came to their aid, coaxing them. “Mommy wasn’t crying. Something got caught in my eyes.”
“Well, then I won’t cry anymore.” Beryl nodded in understanding like a grown-up, and her enthusiasm got back. “Mom, come tell us a story. We couldn’t fall asleep without your bedtime story!”
“Okay.” I lightly chuckled. I had no choice but to carry them back to the room. Yes, this was my life now.
The bed had already been made; the quilt had been laid, and two small pillows were neatly placed on both sides of the big one.
Beryl held my face and planted an affectionate kiss on my cheek. “Mom, who was that man speaking in the video call earlier? His voice sounded so nice.”
“He’s Granny’s…” I trailed, partly because I was trying to iron my shaky voice and partly because I was buying some time to find an excuse. I fumbled for a while but couldn’t make a believable story to justify Rufus’ identity at the last minute; my mind was blank.
“Granny’s who?” Beryl and Arron shot at me a curious look.
“Servant…” I spitted out the word slowly.
As if that made any sense, Beryl seemed enlightened. She beamed as she replied, “I see.”
“Okay, okay. It’s time to sleep.” I didn’t like where our conversation was going, so I tugged the quilt and tucked them to bed. I heaved a lungful of air before I told them a story of horror.
Yes, a horror story. I had always wondered why these kids never fancied fairy tales. Anyway, they fell asleep faster when I scared them than when I told them stories that would likely end in “happily ever after.” I guess it just wasn’t their cup of tea.
I let out a sigh. After I managed to get them to sleep, I got up and gave them one last glance before heading out of the room. I went straight to the bathroom and took a bath.
When I stepped out, Laura rang me up again and told me what Rufus had in mind. I stood there, surprised to know that he had noticed something was odd.
“Sylvia, what should we do now? Rufus made up his mind to see you this time.” Laura asked, worry evident in her voice. I could almost picture her forehead creasing on the other end of the line.
I hesitated for a while. I, too, was confused and at a loss for words. I inhaled sharply as I gathered my thoughts and said, “Well, we can’t let him come to the border. We can’t risk him seeing me or the children, especially Arron.”
“I understand. Arron is almost the carbon copy of his father. It would take the most foolish person to not recognize the resemblance between them once they meet.” Laura let out a long sigh, lost in thought.
For a moment, silence triumphed over us until I broke it. I came up with an idea, and I only hoped this would work out just fine. “The only solution is for me to go there, instead of having him here. I will try my best to avoid Rufus at all costs. If meeting him would be inevitable, I can wear a mask and make up a story like I have a marred face or something.”
“Are you going to take the kids with you?” Laura asked.
“It’s best that I go there alone, so probably not.” I knew she was hoping to see the kids, but both of us knew better than to have a little reunion. Having the kids in the capital would mean high chances of making a mistake. I didn’t mean to break her heart this time, but it was for everyone’s sake.
After consulting with Laura on the phone, a subordinate ran over in a hurry and reported an emergency announcement from the king.
After hearing the news that I wanted to know, I interrupted him. “I see. Convey the order and make an arrangement for a journey to the capital for the ceremony in two days’ time.”
Crystal’s POV
“Yes, madam. I’ll arrange it right away.” The subordinate acknowledged the order and was about to leave.
I was struck by a thought and stopped him. “My trip to the imperial capital needs to be kept a secret. Don’t tell this to anyone, especially my kids.”
Something seemed to dawn on the man and he displayed a surprised expression. “You aren’t going to take the children to the imperial capital?”
“Well, they are quite naughty at this age. I’m worried I won’t be able to look after them if I get busy.” My explanation was only partially true.
The subordinate nodded and left.
I returned to my room to pack my things. Every time the ceremony ended, the Alphas of all the packs would stay behind in the capital for a week to attend some meetings and banquets. I only needed to take some clothes and my daily toiletries.
The kids were fast asleep. I quietly packed my stuff and put my suitcase in the store room, afraid that they would discover I was leaving.
As these thoughts ran through my mind, I began worrying again. I couldn’t come up with a plausible excuse to leave. My intuition told me that if my kids found out I was going to the imperial city, they would definitely ask to go with me, especially Beryl. She has always been so curious about the outside world.
Besides, I had never been away from them for such a long period since they were born.
The truth was, I didn’t want to leave either.
I sighed and lay beside them, not sure if I should take them with me or not.
If I wanted to sneak away, it would be difficult to find a time they were not near me. Arron clung to me all the time. And now that the kids didn’t have a nanny, they would definitely visit my office in the city hall frequently to see me.
It was only the next day that an idea struck me when I passed by a school.
After dinner, I was about to narrate stories to Beryl and Arron as usual.
Before that, I pretended to suddenly remember something. I took out a paper from my pocket that was covered in hand-painted cartoons and handed it to them. “The school has organized a camping activity for three days and two nights. Do you want to go? They are going to take you to see some monkeys and have a picnic.”
I tried my best to make it more appealing. As expected, Beryl’s eyes lit up.
“Monkeys! I want to see monkeys! And feed them bananas!”
“Are there any peacocks?” Arron muttered. Although he didn’t display much enthusiasm like his sister, he still studied the pamphlet carefully.
“Of course there are. You will get a chance to visit a big zoo during the trip.” I felt a little proud that I knew them inside out.
I was the one who had arranged this activity. For the safety of my children, I would especially send a group of elite guards who would work undercover as their teachers.
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