“Is Remy…” I trail off, not sure what I want to ask. Is he mad? Did he leave? Is he still feeling the bond?
“He’s out running patrols. He needed to burn it off,” Parker says, saving me from having to finish.
I nod, wrapping both hands around the mug and trying to ignore how awkward this feels.
“Paige,” Parker says, softer now. “You don’t have to say anything yet. We don’t have to talk about what happened last night or about what you’re feeling.”
I meet his eyes, and it’s so hard not to get lost in them.
“But it’s real, isn’t it?” I whisper. “All of it.”
He nods once.
“I wish it weren’t,” I say. “Not because I don’t care about you or Remy, but because I’m not built for this. I don’t know how to be someone’s mate, let alone four people’s. I’m just… trying to be a good mum. Trying to keep Jaxon safe. Now I feel like I’m being pulled in every direction. My head was such a mess yesterday, and now that I know why, it doesn’t make it any easier.”
“You don’t have to do anything,” he says. “Let us do all the work, we will figure it out. All you need to do is follow your heart and be honest with us. That’s all we need.”
“I wasn’t honest with Ryder. I didn’t tell him about you and Remy.”
“You’re not ready,” Parker says gently. “That doesn’t make you a bad person. You’re surviving the best way you know how, he’ll understand. Plus, last night wasn’t a good time, he needed rest, not more complications.”
I take a long sip of coffee, my stomach doing somersaults.
“I think I need some air,” I breathe.
Parker stands, grabbing a hoodie off the back of the chair. “I’ll come with you.”
We sit out on the porch with our coffee, looking out at the rising sun. The morning air is cool, and Parker covers my bare legs with the hoodie he’s brought with him. I don’t speak, just smile at him. He’s so thoughtful, always ready to give me exactly what I need without me having to ask.
My mind buzzes with everything. Jaxon, upstairs, sleeping happily with no idea of the danger around him. Callen, who can always make me laugh no matter the circumstances and is currently clawing his way back to us from the brink of death. My heart aches for him. I have to see him today to apologise for how I treated him right before he was attacked.
Then there’s Ryder. My first love, the man who broke my heart but is determined to stitch it back together and be the father my son deserves. Remy, out there now, keeping us all safe despite me flipping his life. upside down. Who somehow sets me on fire in a way I can’t explain every time I look at him.
And Parker. Who sits beside me, close but not touching, and it’s suddenly too much and not enough all at once. He makes me feel like I can breathe again. Like I’m not alone, even in all this mess. He soothes my soul and makes me feel safe just by being near me.
He watches me as if he already knows the choice I haven’t made yet, and like he’s willing to wait forever for me to get there.
“Thank you,” I say, my voice quieter than I meant.
“For what?” he asks, tilting his head.
“For being here. For not rushing me. For not making me feel like I have to be anything more than I am right now.”
His eyes hold mine. “You don’t know how strong you already are, do you?”
I let out a shaky breath. “I feel like I’m coming apart.”
“Then let me hold the pieces for you until you’re ready to put them back.”
His words touch something deep inside me, and before I can think, I turn toward him, our knees brushing.
His gaze drops to my mouth, and I feel it like a physical touch. My heart slams in my chest.
He leans in slightly, the air between us charged, magnetic. I don’t move away.
“I want to kiss you,” he whispers. “But I won’t… not unless you ask me to.”
“Parker…” I whisper, but I don’t even know if it’s a warning or a plea.
He lifts a hand, brushing a piece of hair from my face, and my breath catches. His fingers linger against my cheek, warm and steady.
We’re so close. I can feel the heat of his body, the tension crackling in the space between us. His lips are just inches from mine, and I want to close the gap. I want to know what it feels like when he kisses me with all that quiet intensity he keeps hidden behind his calm exterior.
I’m about to say the words, to tell him to kiss me when his eyes flick towards the house, and he pulls back slowly, his hand falling away from my face.
“Jax is awake,” he says softly.
I nod, clearing my throat. “I should go check on him.”
The spell he had me under might have just broken, but I still feel it humming beneath my skin.
Parker swallows hard. “Yeah. Of course.”
I step back inside. My heart is still beating for the kiss that almost happened, and for the man who didn’t take it without my permission.
Jaxon’s voice is a sleepy mumble from the top of the stairs. “Mummy?”
He’s standing there, his hair sticking up wildly, rubbing one eye with the back of his hand.
“Hey, baby,” I whisper, as he makes his way down the stairs.
I crouch down and open my arms. He runs into them, all warm and sleepy as he snuggles into me.
“Did you have a good sleep?” I ask as I stand with him in my arms.
“Yeah,” he says with a yawn. He pulls back enough to look at me, then frowns. “You look tired, Mummy.”
“So do you,” I smile.
He shrugs and leans his head against my shoulder again, content just to be held, and for a minute that’s all I do. I breathe him in and just enjoy the cuddle, because this is what matters. Not the chaos inside my head, not the mate bonds that I don’t understand, or the pull that keeps twisting me in different directions.
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