If only I’d understood what was actually going on back when I worked for him. I don’t know what I would’ve done differently, though. We still had major barricades to being together, I just didn’t understand what his were.
Mine are still the same. I misunderstood the energy, but my feeling of being inadequate was right. My sense that I didn’t come from the right strata or circles to fit in with Brick and his society was right. Brick literally has to hide me from his pack now.
But it’s still all worth it. For moments like this. Having Brick Blackthroat, my billionaire boss-my boyfriend, my lover, my mate…whatever that means-standing on a subway car with me, looking at me with the moon in his eyes. Having him willing to come to my neighborhood.
Of course, the last time he came home with me, I freaked out and broke things off with him instead of letting in the wonder of it.
Believing that a man like him could love a woman like me.
But maybe it’s not love at all. Maybe it’s just this wolf-mating biology thing.
“What’s going on in that brilliant brain of yours?” Brick taps the top of my head.
“I’m wondering if it’s all just physical for you. Like a biology thing.”
A man nearby looks over at me with interest. Brick’s nostrils flare with annoyance, and he sends the guy a death glare until he looks away.
“It’s not.” It’s a very Brick-like answer. Concise. To the point.
I look up, needing more. “Don’t say I’m the best assistant you’ve ever had.”
He frowns. “Well, you are. I don’t love you because you’re the best assistant, but it’s the qualities that make you the best assistant that made me fall in love with you.”
I stare at him in shock. “You love me?”
He attempts to brush his knuckles down my cheek, but the train lurches, and he falls against me instead. He catches me up with an arm behind my back to steady me. “I love your brilliant mind. The way you love to apply yourself to a problem and that satisfied confidence you have when you solve it. I adore your intense loyalty-I saw that the first day you came to work for me when you had Indira’s back. I saw you’re a team player. I like that you’re fearless and sassy. You look me in the eye. You don’t cower. You never shrink from a challenge. You’re one in a hundred million, Madi. Even if your scent hadn’t driven me wild, it’s hard to imagine I wouldn’t have fallen for you.”
The breath has completely left my chest. Tears spear my eyes.
“What about you? Am I more than a boss fetish?”
I let out a watery laugh. Our bodies collide again as the train slows down. I don’t know why I’m afraid to tell him the inconvenient truth-that he’s already everything to me. That he probably has been since the moment he let me see past his walls over Thanksgiving. That I’m still terrified of telling him because I already feel so weak in this relationship. So at a disadvantage. If I give up this last piece of resistance, there won’t be any way to come back. I won’t recover from losing my heart and my pride to Brick Blackthroat.
I duck under his arm. “This is our stop.”
* * *
Brick
I follow Madi, frowning at the way she dodged my question.
Am I nothing more than a boss fetish? If that’s true, I need to figure out what it is my mate requires to make our relationship real and meaningful.
That’s when I fully understand why we’re in Brooklyn. Madi needs me to integrate into her life. I’ve asked her to do all the integrating to mine. I wrenched her from her human life. I mistakenly thought she would love the upgrade to my Billionaire Row house, and designer clothes would take away the sting of locking her up in the penthouse.
But it’s unfair to ask her to be the one who makes all the accommodations. This puzzle of Madi isn’t something I can solve with money. She requires me to meet her halfway.
We step out into the cold, and Madi walks briskly down the sidewalk. A few blocks down, she throws open the door to a tiny Italian restaurant wedged between two row houses. The sign reads Sordello’s.
“This is my favorite restaurant.”
We step in, and smells of garlic and marinara greet us. Tables are packed side-by-side, so close a stranger’s elbow might hit you while they eat.
A middle-aged woman behind the welcome station waves to Madi. “Did you have a pick-up order, Madi?” She searches beneath the counter. “I didn’t see it come through.”
“Eating in today,” Madi says.
“Oh, nice. Sit anywhere.” She gives me a speculative look. New York City is a melting pot, but I suppose I don’t look like I belong there. I’m overdressed. Or maybe she recognizes me.
I let Madi lead me to a tiny two-person table against the window.
“You’re a regular here, then?” I’m itchy all over at the sudden realization that I don’t know nearly enough about my mate.
“Yes. They have the best eggplant lasagna. The eggplant is in place of pasta, so it’s gluten free.”
“Are you gluten free, Madi?” My wolf suddenly comes to attention, ready to defend Madi against any possible poisoning.
“No, I just like it.”
I relax. “I’ll try it, too, then.” I’m usually more of a steak guy, but I need to consume all that is Madi.
We order, and Madi gives me one of those openly assessing looks I’ve come to love. Her brain is engaged in solving a problem. “So how did this challenging-for-alpha thing work?” she speaks in a low voice, not that I’m worried. Everyone in here is human. I can tell by their scents. “Is it just like wolves in the wild?”
I nod. “Pretty much. The top families of the pack called a Town Hall meeting, so everyone could see me in person and realize that I’m not moon mad. I denied that I ever had been without actually lying. Wolves can smell lies.”
“Wow.” Madi digests that pretty easily. “And then someone challenged you?”
“Yes.”
“So what would happen if they did think you were moon mad?”
I hold her gaze to impart the significance. “The Blackthroat pack would probably be destroyed.”
“Why?” she sounds angry. Like she’s willing to fight for my pack.
“The Adalwulfs are in a constant ambush on us. They are always trying to poach our members. I nearly lost the whole pack when they murdered my father.”
“But you kept it together.”
I nod. “I fought every challenger. I visited every pack member’s home. I promised them the Blackthroats would rise again.”
“And you did.”
“Yes. I thought I’d won everyone’s loyalty, but the Adalwulfs sometimes succeed in turning my members, as they did with Jerry.”
She nods. “The janitor.”
“Yes. I only allowed a wolf to clean my floor because I believed I could trust my own pack members with company secrets since they are all shareholders. I was wrong.”
“Hold up. The pack members are shareholders?”
“Yes.”
Our food arrives, and I wait for her to take a bite, then I taste the lasagna. “Mmm. This is good.”
She looks pleased.
I kick myself for not previously attempting to meet her on her turf.
“Every single pack member is a shareholder?” she asks with disbelief.
“Yes.”
“That’s very… socialist. I was thinking it was more like a royalty situation. They tithe to you or something for being their leader.”
“Loyalty goes both ways. Some packs still work like royalty. Nickel’s home pack in England certainly does.”
“Wait… is Nickel’s home pack-are the British royals wolves?”
I hide a smile. “Not the King of England. But some of the dukes and earls are. Shifter bloodlines in Europe go back to medieval times. You remember
Beowulf from your college English class?”
Madi gasps, and her eyes dance with excitement. “I need to know everything. Are there books? How can I read up on the history?”
I consider. “Most knowledge is handed down orally, but I believe the Adalwulfs have some old secret texts. Their pack has witch blood woven in, so they possess more magical knowledge than most. It makes them all the more dangerous.”
We finish the meal, and Madi orders tiramisu to go. I throw a hundred dollar bill on the table and get up.
Madi stares at it like she’s going to argue that it’s too much, but then she nods. “Cool. They deserve a killer tip.”
I pick up the takeout box. “Now where?”
“I need to pick up a few things from my apartment.” We walk down the slick sidewalk.
“Okay. I can call Tony if you want to bring more than a few things. Madi…I’d like you to move in.”
She elbows me. “Are you pretending I have a choice right now?”
I smirk. “It’s hard to fool you, isn’t it?”
“It is.”
“Listen.” I stop and turn her to face me, causing other pedestrians on the street to walk around us. “I want to make this right for you. Do you believe that?”
She gives a small nod. “Yes.” She sounds a little breathless.
“I want to get you out of New York. I’d like to go somewhere we can be alone. Somewhere we can lie on a warm beach and let our guards down. Get to know each other in new ways.”
A slow smile spreads across Madi’s face. “That sounds nice.”
“Good.” I pull out my phone to order a jet. “We’ll leave tonight.”
“Tonight?” Surprise tinges her voice.
“Yes. I need to know that we’re solid. Then I can face down the threats to the pack.”
* * *
Madi
Um, wow.
It’s completely impossible to stay angry or resentful toward Brick. I mean, he had me at that thank you he dropped in my hair the moment he walked in the penthouse, but now I’m starting to feel like we’re a team again.
Brick is on the phone making arrangements as we walk to my apartment. He walks up the stairs with me, but his phone rings again as we walk in. “Hang on-it’s Eagle. I’ll just take this call and then come in,” he says as he answers it.
I nod. Does that mean he doesn’t want me to hear what he’s saying?
No, I’m being paranoid. He said he wants us to be solid. He’s taking me to a beach. Considering what a cold, nasty day it is in New York, I’m thrilled.
I go inside and grab a small suitcase, throwing in a swimsuit and flip-flops for the beach and things I’ve missed most while staying at Brick’s-my Kindle and charger, my ultrasonic toothbrush, my favorite sleep shirt, a pair of bronze dangle earrings Aubrey made for me.
My phone rings, and I check the screen.
Catherine Adalwulf.
I haven’t spoken to her since I figured out Jerry was a spy and contacted her for support. She was the one who told me to call Sully to have him follow up on it. As I’d guessed, she told me that she’d unwittingly been used as a weapon against her mate, just as I was being used.
I answer the phone, feeling a small stab of guilt at communicating with her while Brick still refuses to speak to her. But I’m not unloyal. I’m team Brick all the way, I just happen to think Catherine is, too.
“Madi, hi!” Catherine’s voice is uncertain. I can’t help but feel pity for her. To have your own son hate you would be the worst sort of fate.
“Hi, Catherine. How are you?”
“I’m well. I’m just calling to congratulate you on your mating.”
I stiffen. Brick doesn’t want the Adalwulfs-or his own pack-to know we’re mated. How does Catherine know? Or is she using me to get information for Aiden?
“Ruby told me,” she explains.
I relax a little.
“She also told me how you saved his life. Thank you, Madi. Truly.”
“Well, of course. I-” I start to say I love him. Something I haven’t even said to Brick. Something I’m still trying to defend myself against. But for some reason, holding that back from his mother feels wrong. She feels like an ally in all this. “I love him.”
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