His voice invades my mind as I try and put distance between us, but it just irritates me all the more.
Just make up your mind, okay…. Stop messing with my head and giving me mixed signals. It’s not fair.
The obvious pain in my tone ebbs through and I flinch as he speeds up and catches me from behind, yanking me back by the upper arm and spinning me too him a tad aggressively. His little muscle in his jaw that twitches sometimes is working overtime and I stare blankly at his chest to avoid eye contact.
“You told me we should take the time we have and do what the fates wanted us to do” he frowns at me, defensively, pulling me back a second time when I try to back off and gain distance, his voice edged with the same low irritation as mine. He has no right to be tetchy in this, and it’s not the way to handle my change of attitude.
“Yeah, right before you stopped kissing me and walked away. You, again; hot and cold!” I point out, frustrated beyond belief and stupefied he doesn’t see how he’s being.
“I’m not being hot and cold. I told you I love you and want to be with you! It’s just the shit keeping us apart that’s getting to me.? I don’t want this to be harder, but at the same time I can’t not be with you. I’m drawn to touch you, be with you, constantly. That’s not mixed signaling.” He really doesn’t see it the way I do, and I almost yell it in his face as the good old inner temper explodes at him.
“YES, it fucking IS!!” I shove him away hard, aware some around us have stopped to look up, engrossed in the possible hint of drama going on over here, but I pull my head up and glare at any I catch with eyes this way. Completely combative, and not like me at all. Surprisingly, any I challenge look away fast and Colton hauls me back for a third time, oblivious to his wrongdoing and feeding on my spreading anger.
“Look…. I’m sorry…” It’s delivered through semi gritted teeth and I know it’s probably more from the fact I’m drawing unwanted attention and publicly challenging his authority, than being pissed at me, but it’s not the right way to handle me when I’m already overly tired from hours of physical ed, and sensitive, because I love him, and this whole thing is shitty as hell.
“Aren’t you always?” I raise a brow, sarcasm oozing like molten lava from my lips. I slap his hand off my arm, not caring if it stung, and make a fast dash to put distance between us before he reaches out again.
Leave me alone!
I shout it at him mentally and don’t let up, taking a sprint for the door and dashing forward as soon as it comes into view. At least super speed has its advantages sometimes, and I almost collide with a group of young teens coming out the main door and have to skid to a halt. Someone large, and familiar, colliding into the back of me with equal speed, and emergency braking in such a way it almost sends me flying. Colton catches me around the waist as I topple headfirst from the impact and rights me just as fast, pulling me up so we weirdly end up back in the position that started this whole bickering argument. Me in his arms, as he’s wrapped around me from behind and his mouth at my ear. Only this time it doesn’t ignite a desire to snuggle in. Fuming and ready to claw his eyes out, I turn in his arms to face him down.
“You want me to ignore all this and just go with my heart? You want me to share your bed every night, act like everything is rosy, and perfect, and my father won’t do everything in his power to end this if I try to defy him? You don’t know what he’s capable of, Lorey. You don’t know the lengths he will go to stop someone he loves from doing something he deems wrong for our pack. I may be his son, but that means nothing.” His biting tone, and flash of fierce in that normally cool expression snaps me to attention at the strained way the words rush out, his eyes softening from almost amber anger to that dark brown under lowered brows, blows a little wind out of my sails.
“Like what?” Tears bite in sheer agitation, my emotions getting the better of me that here we are, arguing over this again, caught suddenly with the pain in his eyes, and he lowers his voice.
“You never stop to wonder where my mother is? Our Luna… who should be here for her people, being the heart and glue that tends to our vulnerable, in all these years?” That low, raw question, which brings amber to his eye’s fully, winds me with the unexpectedness of it and I try to claw at the memory banks for an answer in the moment. Remembering my own suspicions from before.
Sometimes accessing his memories is not that easy. There are so many, jumbled together, out of sequence, so sometimes it’s better to know what or who you’re looking for if trying to find an answer. There are confused snippets and nothing concrete that I can pull out in a second, other than she was unwell.
“Well, where is she?” My fury dies a little, curiosity shining through and toning down this row. I can’t sustain that kind of mad when my lame heart gets upset over him. Colton is a weakness, and he seems to know how to disarm my fury and cut right to the bone without trying. People seem bored we’ve stopped yelling and go about their day, bypassing us once more as he lets go of me and takes my hand instead. Tangling fingers intimately, his warm, strong, solid in my smaller, softer, looser, tightly.
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