Something he’s been doing for an infuriating number of days. It’s like opening up about her reminded him of all the reasons he chose to reject me, and he back tracked at a hundred miles an hour and completely pulled away. He’s been on active avoidance ever since and it’s both broken me and pissed me off beyond the limits of boundary.
He comes to training, barks orders at me from a safe distance, and has our mind link on permanent closed door. It’s making me madder than hell, infuriating that once again he has done another U turn, but whenever I try to talk to him, he walks off and blanks me. He makes sure I can’t get close, I can’t touch him, and he either sticks with the sub pack so I can’t get him alone or leaves before anyone else does so I can’t follow. A big fat ‘stay away’ from me aura, all around that dense head of his, and he won’t even look me in the eye.
I know what he’s doing, and as much as I want to punch him in his genitals for it, I do understand, but it’s just so frustrating. What makes is worse, is Carmen has caught onto the strained atmosphere and is laying on the oozing flirt mode with all her might, driving even the males of the pack to eye roll every time she baby talks him. I think she sees it as hope, or an opening that she’s on the path to getting him back, and it’s making me sick to watch her smugly move in on him at every opportunity she gets.
Colton still isn’t tolerating her, but it doesn’t mean I’m not having visions of turning and ripping her throat out multiple times a day. Killing a fellow wolf from your pack is a mortal sin, no matter the excuse, but I would happily pay the time for that crime.
Meadow is the only thing keeping me sane, and last night she camped out in my room to cheer me up and distract me, watching movies, and having girl time to throw off all the stresses of everything going on around us. She brought me clothes, and make up, not that I need them now my own belongings were left at my door when I came back from training a couple of days ago. I suspect Colton went and packed up everything with my scent on in the orphanage, but I can’t be sure, and he won’t stick around to let me ask him at all. It adds to my fury, because it shows he still cares, he still thinks about my needs, but he won’t face me at all. His mind is set, and I know what this means for us, he’s already chosen his course of action and he’s biding his time until it’s done.
He doesn’t come to mess hall to eat either, just shows up at the park to train and leaves as soon as we’re done for the day. He spends the rest of his time with Juan, patrolling the lay of the land, and overseeing the training camp and the new buildings. I’ve seen them walking together many times and I almost couldn’t control my own loathing growls, or the hatred I have for that man.
The pack is getting uneasy and Meadow mentioned that he hasn’t called any kind of communal since, as though he’s avoiding any real dialogue with any of us. He knows the pack will have questions about this. He brought me to them, made it seem like I might have a chance and then snubbed me as they were beginning to accept my presence.
He’s caught inside his own head as he tries to work things out, but we’re losing time. Ticking away slowly as the full moon approaches in its cycle and I don’t think I can take much more. Logic is telling me to give up on him, but I don’t want to accept this is it. That he’s done and given up on us after what he said to me. My heart doesn’t want to believe he could be this way.
I’ve been lost in my own thoughts, anxious, obsessing, crying, and worrying myself sick with the chaos of this lack of closure. I’m not being a cold idiot and cutting him off, or avoiding him, like he is me. I would talk to him in a heartbeat if he let me. It’s like he just abandoned me after dumping me in his sub pack, with no idea what I’m supposed to be now, how to feel, and what I’m meant to do after the full moon.
If he marks her where do I go? What do I do? I’m only here because of my link to him. I’m not a Santo, I don’t belong here and although the sub pack seem to be warming to me, I’m not bonded to them. I’m not one of them, and Carmen will kick my ass to the curb the second he marks her.
She’ll be his beta, until she takes her place as Luna, pushing Meadow down the ranks, from merely becoming his mate. That’s how it works. She’ll have more say than any of them and I can see Colton allowing her to move me out for the sake of their pairing. She hates me with a passion and spends all her time either drooling after him or throwing me shade. It’s just a waiting game until she has that power to finally eject me.
I exhale heavily and pull myself up off the grass where I’ve been sitting cross legged for the past ten minutes, ripping at strands absentmindedly, letting my mind run riot, as Meadow strolls on up beside me and slumps down too. She’s barely flushed, no evidence of panting after scaling thirty-foot tree climbs, and almost no sweat has formed on any part of her at all. I’m over here looking like I rolled in a puddle, red faced, and having a cardiac arrest some twenty minutes after I did it, and she’s utterly unaffected.
I have to admit though, in only a few short days, my stamina is improving, and I no longer hit the shakes and near vomit like the first time we did this. I’m getting stronger.
“What is it when men today? I swear, I must be getting my own cycle, because I want to stab idiots in the head. It’s like the haze is coming in and making them all stupid, or loco.” Meadow falls back on the grass, seeming very athletic in pink leggings, and matching sports bra, that enhance her natural assets. Cesar has been driving her mad the past few days, with his overprotective side kicking in, as Juan upped the training schedule and started pushing his agenda a little harder. He’s been all over her, shadowing her through the course, stopping her before any he thinks might be dangerous, and meeting her fury at molly coddling her. Males can’t help it, even if their femmes are capable, it’s that need to shelter their mate.
The haze is mating season, and yes, it’s fast approaching, and can make the males a little crazy possessive, over sensitive, and willing to wrap their mates in wadding. It’s an inevitable part of our year, which thankfully is short lived, but sees every male and femme who’ve been turned go into horny overdrive. Most mated couples don’t leave the bedrooms for days on end. The unmated are fair game, and result in rushed unions after it’s over, many markings out of unwanted pupping’s have been borne in the past. It’s craziness. I’m not looking forward to it coming at all, seeing as this will be my first year on this side of the fence and I have no idea how it’s going to feel. Especially with a head and heart invested in a guy who intends to mark another.
Meanwhile, the villagers around the mountain are refusing to budge with, only a few actually moving to the makeshift accommodation Juan has been building. I know this is angering him and it’s denting his ego that these people don’t see him as the authority he thought they did. After all these years of swanning around, thinking his transition to ruler was set in stone and no one would dispute it.
More Kickass Werewolf Reads
Dive into our collection of free werewolf romance novels—where fierce Alphas, daring heroines, and heart-stopping twists await. Every story burns with forbidden desire, loyalty, and destiny. Don’t wait—here’s a world where love bites hard and nothing is stronger than the call of the mate.
Leave a Reply