I nod, breathless, and fist the sheets as he eats me- wolflike, with teeth, feral, the rough flat of his tongue scraping against me over and over, teasing the fluttering rim of my hole until I’m puffy and pink and taut, a violin string begging to be snapped. I chase the end of it, press my heels into the meat of his shoulders, feel the pressure balloon inside me, building up and up and . . . “Why can’t I- ” I writhe, desperate, frustrated. He is ruining me. I feel the slide of his thumb through my slit, the broad first joint slowly pressing into my entrance.
“Tight,” he mutters. But he pushes it deeper, then hooks it just a little, and the pleasure crests so high, I know I’m there. I should be there.
Why can’t I? “Koen,” I whimper.
“I know. I know.” He drinks more of me. I’m trembling, right on a cliff. “You can’t come from this, killer. Not when you are so close to Heat.”
“Then why are you- Please, I need you to- “
One last bite, strong enough to quiet me down. A warning.
Be obedient. “You just want to be fucked, don’t you?”
Yes. Please.
“We’ll see about that.” His tone is ominous, but I exhale in relief as he pushes down his pants. He lowers himself on top of me, and his scent is breathtaking. But when I look down at the space between us, I see him nudging my opening with the blunt head of his cock, and . . .
My breath hitches.
“This is why,” he says, stroking himself.
He’s faintly terrifying. He pushes against me, but instead of slipping inside, he goes nowhere. I cant my hips to help, but nothing happens. A mewling sound rolls out of me. “Is it- ” Normal? Am I fucking this up?
“It’s not you,” he reassures, leaning on his side, along my body. “Never been easy.” He braces himself on his forearm. “I hoped it would help, that you’re almost in Heat, but . . .” His hand spreads against my belly and slides down. He sinks a single finger inside me, and it’s so much bigger than one of mine. When his progress stops, he gently works me open. Licks my gland, a broad swipe on my neck, and maybe half an inch gives. A single step on the staircase to Machu Picchu.
“It hurts,” I sigh.
“Does it?” He kisses my cheek. “Are you too full? Or too empty?”
“I want more.” I try to take it, too, thrusting my pelvis upward. Koen stops me so easily, it’s embarrassing.
“Hey,” he says, soothing. “I want to fuck you really, really bad. You know that, right?”
I nod.
“Good. I can’t rush this, killer, because if you become sore or hurt or God fucking forbid, torn, you’re not going to get a couple of days to recover. Once your Heat starts in earnest, you’re going to want me inside you, whether it’s painful or not. So I’m going to move slowly. And I need you to do what I say. Okay?”
Another, more subdued nod. A “My good girl” brushed against my jaw helps his finger sink deep enough that he can slowly, relentlessly work another one inside, tucked next to the first. I clench around him hard enough to make him grunt. The stretch burns so nicely, I cannot help but squirm. My fingernails dig into his arm, his wrist, searching for purchase, a counterpoint. My hips won’t stay still, my entire body twitches, I still need more, but I’m being good. I’m doing what he says.
“Yeah, you are.” His laugh is rough and shaky. Another loving, soft kiss, this time on the corner of my mouth. “You were born for this. A little more, huh?” Reality fuzzes over. Sweat drips from his body onto mine. I shake head to toe, contracting around fingers that are too thick and not thick enough. I’m on the edge, and the finish line keeps moving farther and farther, and-
“Can’t come like this, either, sweetheart? It’s okay, almost there. Take them a little deeper, and we can try again.” A few low encouragements- yes, good, look at you, just a little more
– and then he’s on top of me again, biting my lower lip as he eases inside. This time, the first couple of inches slip right in.
“Yes,” I say, drawing up the knee he’s not pinning to the mattress. “Yes, yes, yes.”
He winces and smiles at the same time, and there is something youthful about it, something that looks fresh on Koen’s face. “See, we’re getting there.” Teeth close around my earlobe. “You just need to be patient. Don’t you?”
Yes.
“I thought so.” He wraps his hand around my throat, thumb and index finger on either side of my jaw. He doesn’t press, but it’s a warning, a reminder of who’s in charge. I wonder what’s wrong with me, that I experience so much gratitude for it, tears stream down my face.
We are not Human.
We really aren’t.
I am not. I’ve never felt it so much as right now, with Koen licking the tears off my temple. “Quiet,” he whispers against my ear. “Don’t make me come too soon. Let me get you used to it.”
I still my lower body, obedient. Or not. When I tip my head to the side and scrape my teeth around the gland on his throat-
“Fucking hell.” His control vanishes. Our eyes meet. His hold on my neck moves upward, fingers splayed open, pressing on my chin. Index and middle dip in my mouth, slide over my tongue, the grip tight enough to stop me from moving my head again. Then his cock drives deeper inside me, sustained, unrelenting, long and fat and far too much. I beg for more of it around his fingers, even as every sinking inch has me pushing my palms against his shoulders to shove him away. My heels twist against the sheets. I try to make room that doesn’t exist.
“Breathe,” he tells me. “Just breathe, Serena.”
I’m trying, I can’t bring myself to say. I want everything. Nothing. No- everything. I babble things that make no sense, clawing into the muscles of his upper arms, holding on to the large expanse of his upper back until the sweat makes my palms slip. All throughout, Koen does exactly what I need. We’re past words and gestures. Past the ability to lie. We’re Weres, and we communicate through scents.
He understands what I want: to be broken in. “It’s okay, Serena. Almost all in. Easy.” A little more. A little more. There’s no room, but he’ll make it. One tweak of my nipple, one kiss to my gland, one flick on my clit at a time.
“I think I like this,” he says, strained. Hazy eyed.
“You t- think?” The words muffle against his fingers. My internal muscles are overextended. “T- that’s flattering.”
His laughter is a choked huff. “I meant- having you this way. Exposed. Pinned.” His hand slips to cup my head. He kisses my lips, gentle. “In a matter of days, you’re going to leave, and I’ll spend the rest of my life as your fucking servant. Whatever you ask me for, you’ll have. But here you are. Defenseless. Mine for a short time.”
He almost pulls out. Pushes in again. My moan meets the air rushing out of him. He repeats the same motion, wild eyed, lips curving in a dumbfounded, incredulous smile. I feel him rearranging my cunt, my soul, my entire damn life, and lose control of my body. My head falls back. My thighs tremble. His thrusts are slow. Shallow. Redefining.
“‘S good,” I say, meaning that it’s the best thing I’ve ever felt in my life, bar none.
“It’s good,” he agrees, looking like he means the exact same thing.
Another stroke. Another one, slow, like he wants to make each last as long as possible. He luxuriates. Indulges in every second of friction. “Serena,” he breathes out against my cheekbone. “I think this might be it, for me.”
His arms slide under my back before I can ask him what he means. Gather me up in a viselike embrace. The drag of our skins. Wet noises. A terrible, all-consuming heat. His eyes, never leaving mine. It all whirls together and winds down to the place where Koen is fucking me.
“I’m going to come,” I gasp, and convulse around him before I’m even done announcing it, pawing desperately at his shoulder. He stays still while I do, waits it out crammed inside, pressing against all those spots.
When I’m done, he kisses my cheek, tells me how beautiful I am, and orders, ruthless, “Again.”
I want to laugh at him, but he makes me come in less than a minute with slow rolls of his hips and watches every second of me falling apart.
“Serena,” he says, except there’s no sound other than the whimpers in my throat. “Again.”
“I can’t,” I tell him, but I’m so wrong, and his pace is measured, a patient, unforgiving rhythm, and this time my release is so intense, I forget to breathe.
“Absurd,” he says, and I know he’s going to ask me for more. It occurs to me how terrifying it must be, for an Alpha whose existence is predicated upon control, the unraveling that comes with pleasure like this. I wonder if he knows. I wonder if anyone has seen him this vulnerable in the past two decades.
I reach up to cradle his face in my hands. Kiss his hot lips. Say, “Koen. Next time, I’d like for you to come, too.”
He can’t say no to me. The steady, controlled movements become frantic, pounding, the thick of his cock filling me over and over, words of adoration and filth murmured in my ear. Another orgasm crashes into me. His cock gets even bigger and fuller, and-
My breath catches in my throat. “What- Koen?”
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