Soon as I get near the door I look around, see no one is out here despite the hustle and bustle and steam coming from the nearby closed door to laundry, and head out the back door instead. No one is back here either, oddly. It’s either good fortune, or someone up there is giving me a break. I’m aware a lot of windows look this way though and I’m still not free and clear.
I unwrap my bag, pull it onto my back and kick my dirty clothes and towels in a nearby bush. Look around before sticking up against the house, back sliding along the harsh brickwork, eyes darting all around me to check no one is around. I almost crawl under the window to the room I’m meant to be in right now, holding my breath every inch of the way. Heartbeat’s crazy fast and racing, my breaths shallow and hurried. My face damp with perspiration because I’m scared to hell of being caught and marched to Juan Santo.
I stick in the flower beds, stepping over them so I don’t trip, up tight to the walls, and duck under every window I get to. Taking it slow, trying to remain silent as I do, and battling my own shaking limbs. I’m heading for the tree line which runs one side of the manor and once I get in there, I can run as fast as my body allows me, relatively unseen in its dense close-knit woods. It extends for a couple of miles right out of the valley and into the farmlands beyond. I can’t turn as I don’t want to ruin my clothes now, I only have two full outfits, but I should be able to speed out without doing it.
I hold my breath when a door swings open behind me, freezing in place, half crouched, and eyes widening in horror. I glance back, seeing it swing out into view and my heart skips a beat, sweat rolling down my forehead from my hairline. No one comes out, though a voice waves my way closer than I expected.
“Yeah, leave it open, it’s like a god damn sauna in here. It’s inhumane making us work in this shit for hours on end.” I don’t recognize the female voice and whoever opened the door mumbles in response, retreating inside, and fading in volume level.
I exhale, relaxing heavily, thinking my legs might give out with that little moment of shock, move my ass back into gear and run crawl the rest of the way, feeling lightheaded.
As soon as I hit the tree line, I pull myself behind the biggest trunk I can find and use it as a viewpoint to check if anyone saw me come over here. Taking a much-needed minute to pull myself together, breathe properly, and lean up against the rough bark until I regain my strength, and the wobbliness in my leg’s fade. I check my surroundings, surprised that there is literally no one at all out here, but as Juan has made it clear for days the vampires can’t be out in daylight, I guess that’s why. Everyone is busy doing what they’re meant to be doing, and I can hear voices on the wind from the front of the manor, hinting that a lot of those with no chore work are assembled in the front field. I won’t get another chance like this.
I put my head down, turn into the direction I want to go and set my legs in motion with no intention of slowing down, stopping, or looking back, until there is at least five miles between me and Radstone. I feel like I may have a heart attack as soon as I set in motion, but I keep one strong thought at the center of my mind.
I’m finally free…. don’t let up until I’m sure of it.
Survival
It’s been around eleven days since I left the valley, and I can honestly say, it’s finally beginning to get easier in some ways, but not all. I was a fool to believe it wouldn’t be hard, on so many levels, and I still can’t get my head around my own naivety. Knowing then what I do now, I don’t think I would have left at all.
It’s not just the survival factor that gets to you, it’s the isolation, the loneliness, the living in constant high alert as you have to be aware of all that is around you, and the gnawing fear that sits in your gut hour after hour. I’m on edge, hyper-aware at all times, and mentally exhausted with it. Unable to ever really stop watching my back, and surroundings, always listening to make sure I’m safe, and afraid of even the tiniest of noises or movement near me. There are so many enemies in nature that I was oblivious to when living in the mountain bubble.
I rarely sleep, so tuned into the noises of the forests, and gulleys, and caverns, I have walked through in recent days. Always listening for something to come out of the shadows at me, and have endless dreams when I do, of vampires and monsters pulling me from my tiny crawl spaces before devouring my helpless body. Every time I’m paralyzed with the same useless inadequacy as that day in the orphanage, and completely unable to defend myself. I see Sierra often in my dreams too, my infrequent naps, and that repetitive sentence she utters on her breath which always wakes me with a start. Always the same damn thing.
“Save us.”
I don’t understand why she haunts me still, and can only imagine it has to do with my broken heart, and the dregs of Colton in my memory banks, that get through the steel door I’m trying to force them behind. She was one of our last conversations and maybe that’s why she plays so heavily on my mind.
The first few days were the worst and thankfully behind me now, and I think it finally sunk in what I was actually doing. The first night, looking for shelter, eating Doritos I had hastily packed in my backpack for supper, and trying to find a comfy way to lie in a shallow hard floored dug out on a hillside that barely concealed me. It was a shock to my system; having come from a lifetime of shelter and home cooked meals I took for granted. Even being myself all those years, I was never alone, or without food and a roof over my head, whereas now here I am, truly in solitude.
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