“Yet you’re the one who brought it up yourself,” I muttered.
“Yeah, I didn’t want you to talk about it in front of Lucy,” he murmured, his voice soft, his eyes lowered like a guilty child who’d just broken something precious.
“Why?” I asked, suspicious.
“Eh, no particular reason. I just don’t like too many people knowing about my conversations with others,” he said, scratching his head awkwardly. “Yeah, I can see you’re giving me that look. But in all seriousness-” He hiccupped and quickly flashed a sheepish grin. “I’m sorry. If there’s a way to make it up to you, I’ll do it. I’ll even protect you from the bullies.”
I let out a loud scoff, and he nodded, looking as though he understood. “I guess that was a good response to my stupid statement,” he said, shaking his head at himself.
“You know, I’ll just go now,” I said, not wanting to stick around. I was anxious about the test I was about to take. Besides, Lamar showing up drunk to discuss such a serious issue wasn’t the right way to handle things.
“Got it,” he said as I walked out of the room.
In the elevator, I stared at the buttons, my eyes scanning for the tenth floor-but it wasn’t there. Maybe I had hallucinated it all. I’d had some pretty crazy nightmares recently about wells and other unsettling things, but to hallucinate something so vividly had left me puzzled.
Since I had spent some time talking with Lamar, I was certain Lucy had already reached Gavin’s room. That meant I had the chance to head straight to the ground floor.
I rushed into the bathroom and took a deep breath, pulling out the test. Wasting another minute wasn’t an option. I peed on the stick and set it aside, waiting as my heart pounded against my chest.
“It’ll come out negative. I’ll be fine. I’m just stressing over-nothing,” I muttered, trying to calm myself down. I didn’t even know why I had taken the test in the first place. Maybe the nausea and vomiting were just from stress.
But now I was here, in the bathroom-not the one in my room, but the bathroom next to the library-and there was no turning back.
“Please be negative. I don’t need this on top of everything else I’m dealing with!” I whispered desperately, my voice trembling. I closed my eyes, but flashes of that night came rushing back-the night they had used me so brutally.
If this test came out positive, it would mean the Moon Goddess was having far too much fun at my expense.
Finally, I opened my eyes. The result stared back at me.
Two lines.
Positive.
My jaw dropped as a single tear fell straight from my eye, bypassing my cheek and landing on the test.
“No! This can’t be. How could you-how could you let this happen?” I hissed at the ceiling, imagining the Moon Goddess sitting comfortably and watching me, her suffering she-wolf, from afar.
It was positive.
Panic struck me hard. My breathing quickened, and my chest tightened as my mind spun out of control. I couldn’t-I wouldn’t-carry a baby from one of those monsters.
But now I am pregnant.
And as miserable as I could possibly feel.
Helanie:
FlashbacK:
“Let me go!” I yelled, my back pressed against the wall. I wanted nothing more than to escape this place and never return. I will behave, I promised myself, I won’t leave my home late at night, and I’ll never meet Altan again.
“Moon Goddess, please spare me this once,” I begged, my hands raised and clasped together in desperation. I heard them laugh as my pleas fell on deaf ears.
“Please fill their hearts with kindness and sympathy for a broken girl like me,” I continued, my voice trembling as one of them stepped closer. Shaking, I quickly grabbed my pendant and wore it, praying it would somehow stop them.
“Please! Stop this. Send someone to help me!” I uttered, my breaths growing shallow, my throat dry, as another man moved closer, leaning in with his arm braced on the wall above my head.
“She’s not going to listen. In fact, she sent us here to help you- tomake you feel better,” he sneered, his voice dripping with malice. “I don’t think that Alpha of yours could have given you any pleasure. Let us help you instead,” he added, his tone unnervingly creepy. The way he licked his lips made my skin crawl.
His hand lowered to my dress, and I slapped it away, hastily fixing my clothes. He stared at his hand for a moment before suddenly grabbing the hem of my dress and shaking it, making the others laugh as I struggled to free myself.
The humiliation burned my cheeks, my face growing hot with shame and anger.
“Look at that,” he sneered, letting go of the hem only to grab at my neckline, pulling it down as I desperately pushed his hands away.
“See? They’re so milky and big,” his vile comments pierced through me, making my ears burn with fury and disgust.
“Ayo! Dude, should we grab some condoms?” another one chimed in, his wide grin making it clear he was enjoying every moment of my suffering.
As they all stared at me like predators circling prey, the leader shook his head and added with a smirk, “Nah, let’s fill her up nice and good.”
End Of Flashback.
It had been ten minutes, and I sat on the closed toilet seat with the test in my hand.
“I wasted my time praying to you for help,” I muttered brokenly. My voice was devoid of emotion, and my face had no expression.
I had no idea what I was going to do with my life now. Sometimes, it feels like the Moon Goddess waits for the perfect moment to hit me with bad news.
“What am I going to do now?” I sighed, gripping the test tightly. Deciding to head back to my room, I didn’t want to linger and risk making Lucy worried.
I turned on the faucet and washed my face and hands before staring at my reflection in the mirror for a few minutes. The image staring back at me was hard to bear-my broken self, pale and weary.
“I’m not going to let this happen,” I whispered through my clenched jaw. I knew what I had to do. This would ruin everything for me.
If they found out, I’d be asked to leave the academy. Physical training would no longer be possible for me. And it would make them think my priorities weren’t aligned with becoming the best-the one thing I’d been working so hard for.
Taking one last deep breath, I stepped out of the bathroom.
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