She was exhausted, even though she did nothing but sleep all day long.
Therefore, in the past few weeks, she had just been sleeping and eating. And because of what happened to her, nobody thought much. They assumed she was mourning the loss of her baby and Zuri didn’t have the energy to correct them.
“You need to lose weight.”
That was all her mother said. There was no arguing with her about it. She wanted her to look perfect. Because in her twisted mind, the best weapon for women like them was their body. They needed to appear appealing in order to capture their mate’s attention, only then they could have a comfortable life and their word weighed something.
“Zuri, do you understand me?” Karina scrubbed her skin raw. It was too hard for her liking, but she didn’t protest. She was used to the pain. Everyone in her life tried to hurt her.
“Yes, mother.” The answer came instantly, she had no other option to answer her differently.
Karina looked at her daughter and sighed. She rubbed in more soap and scrubbed her skin again before she washed her hair.
The silence inside the bathroom was a little bit depressing and uncomfortable. Zuri wanted this to be over, but after bathing, something more awful was waiting for her.
“I know you don’t like this,” Karina said when Zuri was about to close her eyes. “This will be over soon.”
“Do you even know that Father and my mate had been planning a treason?” Zuri blurted out and the fact it didn’t surprise Karina told her what she needed to know.
“Men always crave power.” It almost sounded like she was justifying it. “We, as women, should support them. They are our… mates. Our alphas. They own us.”
Zuri didn’t say anything, only because it was pointless. Her mother was raised with such beliefs and that became her survival instinct. It worked for Karina, but for her…
Zuri closed her eyes again when her mother reminded her to lose weight. She wanted her to be as skinny as a stick.
After that, Karina left the bathroom to prepare a night gown for her. Alpha Xaden and Zuri would spend the night together.
The alpha had been away and with the reason Zuri was still recovering, Xaden slept in a different room, but starting from tonight, they would sleep together again.
The thought of that was nauseating to Zuri. She felt like there were a hundred bricks pressing down on her chest, making her unable to breath. She felt like the walls were closing in on her.
Clenching her fist, Zuri began to pound it against her chest, as if it could help relieve this suffocating feeling.
“Zuri, come out now,” Karina shouted from outside the door.
Zuri opened her eyes. She was still in the bathroom. The walls were not closing in on her and there was not a brick in the vicinity. She looked up and saw her reflection in the mirror. She fixed her expression and walked out of the bathroom with an impassive face.
A revealing nightdress lay on the bed, and her mother told her to wear it. She did, without making a peep, and Karina said a few things again before she left the bedroom. Zuri didn’t follow what she was saying. It must be some bullshit about how to please Xaden. They had this conversation before the mating and marking ceremony. Zuri didn’t need to hear that again.
Zuri stood next to the bed and stared at the door when it swung open and revealed Xaden’s figure. The alpha was tall and big. His body looked like it was built with muscles. He was handsome with brown eyes that looked almost dark and those eyes were on her.
Just like all the alphas, he exuded power and authority. Even without saying anything, his presence was strong enough and he looked calm and composed, tempting Zuri to scratch his face.
‘Scratch him.’
‘Kick him.’
‘Claw him.’
There. The voices echoed in her head. This was what happened when she didn’t drink her medicine. These heathen voices would urge her to do something outrageous, daring her to follow through.
“Let’s get it over with quickly,” Xaden said.
How sweet. That was the first thing he said to his mate when he was going to fuck her.
‘Blood will look good on him.’
‘Cut his throat.’
‘Gauge his eyes out.’
“Let’s do it.” Zuri tuned out the voices in her head and started to undress herself. She couldn’t see the point in herself wearing this dress in the first place.
Xaden did the same. It was only a task for them.
As they were naked, Xaden trained his eyes on Zuri’s body. He remembered how soft her skin was and how beautiful she was when she came undone. He remembered how she moaned and how her body would tremble beneath him.
She was perfect, but unfortunately, that was not enough.
Xaden approached her and Zuri steeled her heart. She met him in the eyes. His sculpted body glinted under the light and he looked ten times bigger in her mind.
This whole scene and what they were going to do, Zuri felt like she was watching everything from the sidelines, as if she were a detached observer, a third person in the room, disconnected from the events unfolding.
She watched how Xaden touched her body. He touched her shoulder at first, before his hand slid down to her breast. He stared at her, looking for some reaction, but Zuri didn’t show any. She couldn’t feel anything.
At this moment, it was not her body. She was watching herself and Xaden from the sidelines, of course, she didn’t feel anything.
Xaden was not happy with it. He leaned over and captured her lips, he put a hand behind her head, while kneading her breasts with the other. He licked her lips, trying to get an access to her mouth and once he did, he deepened the kiss, as if he was going to devour her.
Zuri felt how his cock was getting hard. It poked her stomach as he grinded his hips, still, Zuri didn’t do anything.
Growling, Xaden leaned back and frowned at her. “At the very least, you need to try and enjoy this. It will hurt if you don’t.” Zuri said nothing and this left Xaden frustrated. He shook his head. “I am not a monster, Zuri. I will not force myself on you if you don’t want it.”
Zuri watched herself when she opened her mouth to speak. Her voice sounded foreign, as if it was not her, who was speaking.
“Just do it,” Zuri said curtly. She took a step forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. She tiptoed and kissed him. This time she grinded herself against him, making Xaden groan. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pushed her to the bed.
Everything went quickly. Xaden told her to get on her knees and elbows, giving her back to him. This position was ideal for them, as it seemed neither of them wished to make eye contact.
Zuri watched herself. Her face showed nothing, her eyes were dull. She stared into the distance.
Meanwhile, Xaden bent his body and bit her shoulder, but he didn’t try to put his mark on her again. His right hand propped his body up so he wouldn’t crush her and his left hand grabbed her breast, pinching and pulling her nipple, trying to stimulate her.
“Do it.” Zuri wanted this to be over quickly.
“It will hurt,” Xaden warned her, because she was not wet enough.
“Do it.”
Zuri repeated the same thing, as though that was the only thing she could say, but at the same time, she was watching everything unfold. She watched what Xaden did to her body. How his hands touched her and how his ragged breath danced across her skin.
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