“I don’t know.. Maybe give me some time to think about it. There is too much going on right now.” She says.
“I was thinking the same thing.” I say back to her, then turn to Alarick. “Um.. I understand that you are feeling a certain way, but Fen and I need time to think through things. I am going to find Keenan and then head back to the castle.” I say as I get up and start to walk away. He follows me, but doesn’t say anything. Once we get back to the main part of the rogue pack I find Keenan.
“You are free to take your people. There was only one who needed my help.” I tell him and he nods his head.
“Thank you LeeAca. And don’t forget what I told you. I will come back to visit once I get them settled.” He says as he pulls me in for a hug. I hug him back and turn around to leave. Heading for the castle with Alarick on my heels.
After we are about an hour in, Fen speaks up for the first time in a while.
“I think we should tell him.” She says which makes me stop.
“What? I thought you said you needed time? I need time. The only person who knows the full truth is Keenan. And that is because he was there and saw what they were doing to people. Fen, I don’t want to tell him. I don’t want to tell anybody. Why don’t we just do what we were doing before this happened?” I complain.
“I.. I don’t know. I just want somebody to love us despite what happened to us. I don’t want to get hurt again, but I am willing to try one last time if that is what it requires to be truly happy. The past couple of months we have both opened up to people and I can say that even though they annoy me most of the time I enjoy having them around. I don’t want to lose that. I want a community, a family, a pack.” She says which shocks me. If anything she is the one who was always adamant on never letting people close and never wanting a mate bond.
“I understand, but what if he hurts us?” I ask her and I hear her sigh.
“Then he hurts us. We are strong and we can take it. But I don’t think he will. I feel his love for us even though all we have done is hurt him. I have felt it even before he knew there was a mate bond. The first time I felt his love was the last time we felt his betrayal, I was in denial of that from the beginning. You heard what Keenan said. He was supposed to be our second chance, but the hunter’s somehow f*cked our mate bonds up.” She argues and I sigh.
“LeeAca? Everything okay? You just stopped walking.” I hear Alarick ask. I come back and see him staring at me worriedly.
“Oh yeah I am fine I was just talking to my wolf.” I say and he nods his head in acknowledgement.
“Oh Okay.” he says and turns around to start walking again. I sigh and start the journey back up, while thinking about what Fen has said. Since our first two mates she has always been reserved and hateful. For her to say and admit that she wants to be with her mate is huge and I don’t think I can take that from her. Because if I am being honest with myself, I have been falling for Alarick since the first time we went for our walk into town.
After about another half hour of walking, we start to pass the lake I like to sit at. Before I even thought about it I was already walking on the pier and sitting down, letting my feet hang off the end. I stare at the night sky, the moon is brightly illuminating the lake. I hear footsteps behind me and realize that Alarick must have followed me. He mimicked me and sat to my left, letting his feet hang over the edge.
“Man, I haven’t been out here since I was having a hard time with my mate. It is so beautiful.” He says looking out over the lake. I nod my head slightly caught off guard by him talking about his last mate.
“I started coming out here after the first week here. It is my peace of mind.” I say and he nods his head and agrees with me. I continue to look up towards the sky”Could you tell me what happened with your last mate?” I ask before I even thought about the question. I hear him suck in a breath and feel his emotions of anger and saddness. “You don’t have to tell me, I don’t even know why I asked. I’m sorry.” I say. After a few uncomfortable moments Alarick starts speaking.
“I met Katherine when we were visiting another Pack. Unsurprisingly, she was the Alpha’s daughter. I instantly fell in love and brought her back here. After 1 year of being mated she started acting different. We constantly argued and she even threaded to leave multiple times. I was so desperate to make it work that I begged her to stay and she did. What I didn’t know was that she was testing me to see how much loved her. Another year later and we were attacked by an abnormally large army of rogues. After the battle begun she surprised me by joining in the fight. She never did that before, but I thought maybe she was finally coming around to being the Luna the pack deserved. Turns out the reason she was out there was to lead the rogue army. She somehow gathered the forces and was in cahoots with the rogue’s leader. In the anger of her betrayal Onin took over and killed her. We both knew that we had to or else the battle would have kept going. After we killed her the rogues retreated except for a few stragglers, whom we took care of. I have not been able to allow myself to fall for anybody since.” He explained to me while staring at the moon. Wow I have heard stories of what happened, but feeling his emotions while he was telling me his side made my chest tighted.
“Fenir are you one hundred percent sure you want to tell him? I will do what you want. You deserve to be happy Fen and if you think this is worth the risk of getting hurt then I will do it, for you.” I say to Fen.
“I think it is worth the risk. He just told us his story. We should tell him ours” She says and I nod my head.
“Everything okay?” Alarick asks me. I take a deep breath in and let it go.
“Ye.. Yes.” I cleared my throat. “Fen would like for us to give you a chance.” I say looking up at him. I see his face as he smiles wildly and I feel his happiness at my statement. When I don’t reciprocate it his smile falters.
“Why don’t you seem happy about the decision?” He asked me.
“Because you don’t know me. And I am afraid that once you do you will hurt me. Like the others.” I whisper the last part, but him being a werewolf I know he heard it.
“I would never hurt you. Not on purpose at least. You are my ma… Wait.. What do you mean like the others?” He asked as he finally registered what I said. I sigh and look up towards the sky, avoiding his eye contact.
“When I was 18 I met my first mate, he rejected me because I was not what he wanted. Not even 3 months later I found my second chance, the one you saw from my dreams. Fen and I were so happy that we didn’t think twice when he led us out to the clearing. Next thing I know I was shot with a wolfsbane dart and three men came out of the clearing. My second chance mate betrayed me. He traded me for his freedom from the hunters. Fen was so angry that she ripped his heart out. And the pain from losing our mate with a mixture of the wolfbane had us pass out. We woke up in a cell. We were beaten and r*ped, and I became pregnant. I met my third chance mate in the cells and they experimented on the mate bond. After my first born came they forced me and my third chance to complete the mating process, leading me to become pregnant again. I was held there for three and a half years, being tortured, r*ped and experimented on. That is part of the reason Keenan and I have a connection. Something about my wolf and his magic, they mixed our blood together and now I can feel his presence as well as he feels mine, when we are near. I think his side is stronger as he claims to feel mine from his coven. They killed my third chance mate, but the last straw was when they took me to a room to watch as they experimented on my children. They killed them and I was so devastated that I shifted and killed nearly every doctor and guard in the place. Since then I have been living as the shadow and taking down other hunter’s labs.” I say. It was a long story and he didn’t need to know every little thing that happened to me in my life. He stayed silent. I can feel his shock and him comprehending everything that I have told him. I feel his anger, confusion, regret, pity, everything. I feel everything he is feeling.
“So I am your fourth chance mate?” He asks me confused.
“You are my eighth chance mate.” I say and his face went from confused to shocked.
“That isn’t possible.” He says as he sits and thinks about it.
“Unfortunately it is. Something about what the hunters did f*cked with my mate bonds. Every time my second chance rejects me and I technically die, I am “blessed” with a new first and second chance.” I say and I feel the anger radiating off of him.
“What do you mean every time you technically die?” He growls.
“I have had my heart beat stop three times. Each time varying between 1 to 4 minuets. I have always been brought back. When i am brought back I get new bonds.” I explain and he stays quite, while processing my words.
“If you.. If you want to reject us we understand. We are too compli..” I start, but he interrupts me with a kiss. A passionate and needy kiss. He is growling lowly as if I angered him. After a few seconds he pulls away. The sparks I felt igniting my body left with him. We just stare into each other’s eyes.
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