“Then why have you been avoiding me?”
“Because…”
He pitched his voice lower. “Why?”
“Because you were being a jerk,” I said, the words bursting out of me. Immediately, I closed my mouth, hoping I didn’t just make everything worse.
“I am trying to save this kingdom and uncover a traitor among us, and you think I have time to care if I come off too abrasively?” he asked, thick with disbelief.
“I know you want to find your traitor, but there’s better ways than to just go around accusing people,” I said. ” Calvin disgusts me. If you looked into our past enough to find out we dated, then you should have seen how he betrayed me. Do you really believe I would go running to someone like that? I have some dignity.”
Less and less every day, seemingly. But I was still trying to hold on to some shreds of pride. I still had my virginity, my morals, and my honor – even if no one else knew about them but me.
“I am trying to save a kingdom,” he said. “I don’t care about your feelings.”
I lowered my head, irritation flooding through me. “Then you can understand why I thought we needed space to ourselves. If my presence only irritates you, why would I presume to think you’d want me near you?”
Grayson crossed his arms. “Maybe you would rather spend time with my uncle.”
I blinked, startled by his sudden shift of topic.
“The way you defend him, he must have made quite the impression on you,” Grayson went on.
“He was kind to me,” I said.
Grayson unhooked his arms, his eyes flashing dangerously. “Is that all it takes to win your favor? To be kind?”
“I…”
Before I could answer, Grayson crossed the room in less than a blink, suddenly in front of me. He gripped my chin between his forefinger and his thumb, forcing my gaze up to his.
“You are my surrogate,” he said. “You will not chase after others.”
“I… I wasn’t…” I said weakly, overwhelmed by his sudden closeness, his show of speed. I’d never seen anyone move that fast before.
His hot gaze dropped to my mouth and I licked my lips on instinct. He swallowed hard, the muscles of his neck working.
Then, slowly, he started to lean down. y heart leapt up into my throat. Without meaning to, I started to press myself up onto my toes, trying to close the distance just like he was.
“You are minie, do you understand?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper, more of a growl. The possessiveness sent a delighted, treacherous shiver down my spine. “You will not look at other men. You will not flirt with them.”
“I didn’t… I won’t…”
His lips were so close to mine now, his breath hot against my skin. I started to close my eyes, anticipating.
Yet, at the last moment, before his mouth could cover mine, he released me and turned away.
At once, I felt cold, the loss of his body heat only part of the problem. Wildly, I wanted him to return, to kiss me, to treat me in the kind way I wanted, with his mouth and hands if not his words.
Closing my eyes, I condemned myself for wanting such things. I also made a quick apology to the future partner I had not met yet.
Grayson was not the man I wanted or needed. I didn’t understand why my body kept reacting the way it did. I had to resist. I had to be strong.
“Be friends with Uncle Benedict if you wish it,” Grayson said. “But never lower your guard. And do not tell him about my recovery, or they will be the last words you ever say.”
Lulian’s POV
Things remained tense with Grayson, but I didn’t think skipping Benedict’s welcome dinner would change that. So when the time came, I changed into a simple and conservative black dress and went down to the dining room.
Outside the dining room, I stopped a moment to take a breath. From the noise within, it seemed as if the rest of the guests had already arrived. I was sure to earn a lot of dark looks and maybe even some foul words as I entered. Their malice shouldn’t bother me anymore. In a lot of ways, it didn’t, but it was difficult to continue to stand strong when people on every side had it out for me.
Yet, to my surprise, when I stepped into the dining room, while I did earn some sharp glances, there were three that were not so.
Clara, standing away from Ophelia and her group, was one.
Josephine and Benedict were the other two.
“What are you smiling at?” Ophelia snapped at Clara, who immediately looked away. Clara remained separated from the rest of the group, a foot or two away at all times. She didn’t try to move closer to them, nor did they move closer to her.
I wondered if they found out about her helping me, but to defend her would only be to make things worse for her. For now, I pretended not to notice.
Benedict and Josephine came up to me.
“It’s good to see you, Lillian,” Josephine said. “How is my brother?”
I didn’t like lying to her, but I would keep my word to Grayson. “He is the same.”
She nodded.
“Hopefully those medicines I brought will change things,” Benedict said. “Do you know if the doctor administered them yet?”
“I’m… not sure,” I said.
“He probably wants to run tests on them first. With everything going on around here, I’m not surprised,’ Benedict said. “I’m pleased he’s taking my nephew’s health into such high consideration. He’s a good doctor. Best in the kingdom.”
“Yes,” I said, and hoped he would change the subject.
“Well,” Benedict said. “Since you are my brother’s surrogate, I was prepared to not like you. But I find you delightful instead. What do you say, Lillian? Since you aren’t pregnant, why not imbibe with us tonight? Josephine and I already cracked open a bottle of wine, and she’s been telling me about her asshole ex-fiancé. Why not join us?”
“I’m not sure if I should…” I said. “Grayson might need me…”
“He’ll survive one evening while you have fun,” Grayson said.
“Oh, please join us, Lillian. I really want to get to know you better,” Josephine said. “And these events are such a bore. It’s more fun like this.”
“Alright,” I said. When was the last time I had even been allowed to have fun? I wasn’t much of a drinker, but one glass of wine couldn’t hurt. Everything had been so tense lately. Maybe a glass could help me loosen up to actually Telax, something I hadn’t really been able to do since entering the palace.
With one exception….
My cheeks burned as I remembered Grayson pressing his fingers into me, giving me the relief I so desperately needed at that moment.
“One glass,” I said quickly, trying to distract myself from those thoughts. “A small one, please.”
“There’s a girl,” Grayson said.
“I’ll get her a glass,” Josephine said and hurried to the table. She poured me a glass of white wine and returned, handing one of the two glasses she held to me.
I started sipping, but I didn’t really care for the taste, so bitter. I tried to smile at the others though, who seemed encouraged.
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